The year has been hectic to say the least, but who's isn't. I have encountered many road blocks and many triumphs, which is what life is really about. I think the biggest thing that I have learnt this year is that persistence is the key, no matter what you face or experience. Failure is an advancement, not a step backwards. Not getting wound up about things you can't control yields adaptability. Keeping a cool head no matter what the consequences breeds success and embraces wisdom. Keeping the ego at bay gives one the opportunity to learn and receive from the most hated or intimidating. Awareness keeps the empathy sharp and fruitful. Being non judgemental and understanding both sides of any observation or action creates a following of concrete loyalty. Lack of discipline and structure makes one stagnate and unable to focus. Mental and physical imbalance justifys mediocricy. Might as well just sit down and peel off the execuses and think of it as right.
Grading day is approaching fast and I have no idea really where I am at. I feel good about some areas and highly doubtful about others. I'm just going to move ahead and do my best. It would be easy right now to just say" Nah, I'm not ready, too much has went on. I'll grade next year". If I take this approach then what's going to be my excuse next year? My life doesn't show any signs of slowing down anytime soon. Opportunitys are continuously coming down the pipe in my career and my life. My family has goals and dreams to ful fill and my youngest has big dreams that I need to be there for in many aspects. But there is also the advancement of my martial arts career that needs to happen. I want to grade and pass so I too can be in the black belt class that all students watch and wonder as we are scurried out the door. I need that buzz back that I had as I advanced through the ranks with the goal of reaching Sihing and beyond. I guess I haven't really lost it but I have failed in the area of discipline and making time for my training over the last few years. I have got in some descent training this year and have evolved in many ways and many areas that not too long ago would have never even been a consideration. So I'm not making excuses or even going to consider passing up another year. I have a few weeks left and I am going to make the most of it. If I am allowed to grade I am going to go for it and give it my all, if not I will apply all that I have learned and put it forth. If I achieve black belt cool, if I fail, cool, at least I didn't quit or throw away another year through my personal doubt or hide in the shadows and not face lifes challenges. See you at the kwoon.
