Stubborn and Non Conforming

These may seem like bad points, but to me they are not. To me these are strong points of character and acts of survival provided they are used properly. My success rate on this balance is questionable at times and yes, it does get me in trouble or make things that much more difficult. Other times it has kept me alive or has brought me through tough times and even better yet, really cool achievements. With this I will continue to hold my beliefs solid and be myself and take on any challenge or interest I want.

Being yourself and standing firm for what you believe in, is to me, the most important thing in the world. Without these two characteristics kept in mind one tends to forget you are in control of your life and just where it's going to go. As soon as I sense that I am losing my freedom to act and think within respectable grounds, or someone is trying to remove something from me with absolutely no solid ground to back this action.....the heels dig in and you might as well pack a lunch if you want to move me. I become angry and my thought process kicks in high and the anger processing begins. This takes a while as I have learnt that rage anger is basically useless and an non productive direction. Not saying I don't snap once in a while, but that ends very quickly. No, this is different. I start to balance the situation on all counts and figure out from there what parts need to be severed and forgotten and which parts need to be salvaged and kept close. This type of anger is what keeps me in tune with my surroundings and keeps me on my journey to where ever it is I am heading. This also keeps me from letting go of some very important things in my life. Things that perhaps under an irrational thought process, would have been tossed and forgotten, just to be constantly reminded later of a mistake and regret following me.

We are constantly losing our freedom to chose and think on our own. It seems a fair amount of people are content with being told how to act, how to think, and alot of times things are taken away from us in the name of safety or lack of accountability. This is all crap to me. People shouldn't be scared to pursue their goals or make new discoveries because they are led to believe risk is bad, taking chances is bad, being yourself is bad, fear mongering to install the thoughts and visions of worse case scenario. This is where the acceptance of mediocrity comes into play.  A majority of people now a days have no desire to think outside of the box. To question their boss or company, to stand up and say what you believe in proudly and firmly, to raise their family the way they see fit. Also to live under the guide of what everyone else thinks of you, honestly, who cares what others think because most people have no clue how to be themselves either. We are not designed or designated to be the same or think or act the same. No, we were meant to pursue our own hopes and dreams, prompted to develop a unique skill and master it, that's how you survived and if you couldn't be bothered to do so, well you probably died. There was a time when thinking outside of the box was encouraged, using the motto of the skies the limit was a way of life.

The whole point of this blog was to remind myself and others to teach themselves and the children to never let anyone or anything stop you from pursuing whatever the hell it is you want to. It's the people that have all the power, not the companies, not our governments, and certainly not an ideology of you can't do that, or nobody does that any more. Prove to others and above all else yourself and your children that anything is possible. Absolutely nothing has the right to stop you from believing in or pursuing your dreams, taking risks or practicing sacrifice in order to achieve a unique skill or goal, or what ever it is your passionate about. Never mind being scared, flourish your personality, promote individuality and support those that chose to be unique. Enough with the cookie cutter mentality and being a sheep. Take what is yours and run with it, you have the freedom to do so, use it.

Sickness, Gratefulness, and Continuous Rebuild

Things change quick. Sometimes right under your nose, and of course hindsight is always 20/20. I had a blood test performed a short while ago and a doctors appointment soon after. Turns out my thyroid has not been working.... at all really. He was in amazement as to how I was even functioning. I told him what I do for a living and that I train in Kung Fu. He kind of shook his head and I sat there with a stupid look on my face, ignorant to it all. A lot of the symptoms that come with a failing thyroid weren't really there, to me everything was operating some what normal. With the exception that I would get tired quicker than usual, foggy moments mentally and difficulty concentrating. As it sits, my T3 and T4 hormones are not balanced, one is in a high abundance and the other not so much, and my body is producing a huge level of TSH. This leans toward the autoimune system attacking my thyroid which is a result of me being allergic to something. My testosterone levels are above average but that doesn't matter because my body is producing too much estrogen which hampers the testosterone. Sounds like a big mess to me and thank goodness I never grew a set of boobs through it all. So I am now on pills and some vitamins along with a serious change up in my diet. I am scheduled for a more in depth blood test that will find out what exactly I am allergic too. After reading up on a few items I found coffee is very bad for us. I always knew this but ignored it. Coffee makes you pee your bones out and is a major cause of men producing high levels of estrogen..... hmmmmm. So that needs to go along with a bunch of other things. The countless times I have heard of mindful eating.... I guess it's time to get it together. Kind of goes back to that hind sight thing. My stubborness is my worst enemy at times.

Moving on to other things my work schedule has exploded once again and it will continue to be that way for a while. Six to seven days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day. As difficult as this may sound and the changes I will have to make to my training, they are what they are. To be honest I am very grateful for two reasons. One, there are a lot of people at the moment that have lost their jobs. There are a lot of people in this province that will be turning over the keys to their home and others that cannot afford to feed themselves. Between the crazy price of groceries and a bleek looking future ahead of us all, I feel terrible for many. I also feel quite angry with our current government. Everyone is cutting back except them. Want to lower costs, lay off people just like everyone else. Our government and health care system is bloated with beaurucrats that hold no use or purpose. Our governmnet in this province is one of the largest in the country. Time to trim the fat. Never mind borrowing billions to pay the useless. I don't get these idiots.
 The second reason is I will have to adjust my training. I don't want to lose the momentium I have developed over the last while. I will have to go straight from work to the kwoon and put in some hours at the kwoon at every available moment. At night, on the weekends, whenever possible. This last week has been difficult though. Between working with a new company and a unpredictable work schedule and fighting the cold from hell, it has hampered my ability to move forward at the moment. I am resting and reading, laying out plans to adapt my lifestyle and keep the engagement in front of me. A positive atitude and concrete focus always prevails. The sooner I can get over this cold, the sooner I can turn on the gas. I can't do both and expect to get better.I am eagerto get back to classes, get back to working with my partner and back to it all. Well that's all I really have at the moment, see you at the kwoon.