Inspiration Comes in Many Forms

You can be influenced and inspired to do better, think better, find solutions, or just simply change your perception on something from many sources. You just have to listen and watch and look at everything around you as a gift or opportunity. Sometimes I look at things of influence as they have to be great, they have to come from experience, or at least something that you have to think it through to move forward and act. It needs to be extraordinary and seemingly impossible in order to work. Bruce Lee once said, "If you spend too much time thinking about something, you will never get it done." I seem to have forgot that the little things have a much more profound impact than the more prominent. I sometimes waste too much time thinking about things. Keep it simple stupid, is a phrase I commonly go to when stuck. Other times an outside source in a basic format can punch me right in the face and give me that boost or push I need. Even perhaps the straight forward approach that used to come so naturally to me.

The young martial artist you see in the photo above put me in my place and brought me back to reality in a very powerful way. She laid out a plan. Nothing complex, nothing extreme, she just did it. She didn't spend days planning. She didn't make things overly complicated and she didn't need the perfect time or planned opportunity. She just did it.

This young martial artist took a break from Kung Fu and returned almost a year later. A few classes in, she made a plan and set a goal to have earned her yellow belt before Christmas. She needed a two or three stripes in order to be eligible to test for promotion. She worked towards her goals and a few weeks later she was promoted to Yellow belt.
Barely a few classes in as a yellow belt and the goals began, orange belt by her birthday and a black stripe by next class. That week she was given an assignment and went to work on it at home. Within a very short period of time she developed her own combination containing all parts of what was asked of by her Sifu's. She asked me to help which of course I did. But the reality of it was all I really had to offer was a few block suggestions and some stance tweaking. That was it. Next class came a there it was, a black stripe on her belt. All of this was done by simply setting a goal and working towards it. She just did it, no excuses, no over thinking, no bulls@#t. Just straight up took what she felt was hers and ran with it.

That young martial artist is my daughter and I couldn't be more proud or more humbled by her example and lesson she gave me. Well done and thanks for the reminder to keep it simple stupid and just do it.

A Christmas First and a Message

This is a first for my family, hanging out in the mountains of southern Alberta. Good food, a fire pit, a BBQ and lots to do and some quality time with my parents and siblings, this is going to be a very memorable Christmas indeed. I can't really explain it but I feel at home in the mountains. I feel peace and a sense of being fully grounded here. Thinking clearly and sorting out a mindset and direction comes easy for me here. Whatever it is and why will always remain a mystery but one thing's for sure, I am truly grateful to be able to take the time from work and enjoy it with my family.

There are a lot of people in this country and province that won't have such a place to go. There are some that have no home, nothing to eat, and no one to be with. There are the working people that are still living in poverty. People that work themselves to exhaustion with a job that will be lucky enough to buy a descent Christmas meal. Let alone have the means to go visit their family. There are elders, children, and teenagers that will have nothing to share, no joy and no love to share or feel. How can this be in this day and age. How can you have a job and still not be able to make ends meet. I have seen much of the homeless. I have seen poverty levels in several areas throughout North America, and it is not something I would wish on anyone. Sure, you could say that's just the way it is. You could say they are simply addicts that couldn't control themselves. You could also say they are complete nut jobs and are of no use anyway.
 This sort of mindset is what makes us all ignorant to reality. It's all good as long as you are not suffering. To the ignorant, addiction is a disease, not a choice, Whether we want to admit it or not, in one way or another we are all addicted to something, and every single one of us has a mental disability of some sort. We have just been lucky or have been given the opportunity to better ourselves and stuck with it, or we are living in a state of denial that will catch you at some point.

This is why one should practice the mentality of being grateful and putting our awareness towards others and our social issues as a priority. We don't need to buy things constanly thinking this is how it is supposed to be and that is more important. If we weren't so busy staring at a phone, playing with gadgets and over consumption on stupid things you don't need, it wouldn't be so hard to pull our heads out of the sand. If we spent even a fraction of our time volunteering to help others and holding those that control it all accountable as a society, we as a whole, could make a difference. The common phrases such as "Well there is nothing you can do, so why bother" or " That's too bad, but they made their choice" would be a thing of the past. To all the less fortunate, to all the addicts, mentally ill, to the starving, the homeless, and victims of abuse, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a wish that someday soon we will all get over ourselves and do something about it instead of standing around waiting for something to happen. As it appears, they couldn't care less and unfortunately we are right there with them.

What Defines and What Doesn't

Achieving the rank of Black Belt is something most martial artists look forward to and work towards. All arts and disciplines have different ways and different beliefs on what exactly is a black belt and how you should become one. In our school the rank does not come easy. You just can't buy the rank, you just can't wing it through and expect to be passed. To become a black belt in our school is not done in private, it is done out in open so the whole student body can witness what it takes to become one. Sihing in a traditional setting, means "Big Brother", and we all know what the position entails. It is the position of a leader, people look to you for guidance and all your moves are watched because you are the example and the cornerstone of inspiration to other students. It is your responsibilty to hold and work towards the standard and uphold the potency of the art. Holding the rank of Sihing shows that you have earned the chance to test for the rank of black belt and you have earned the trust and respect of your instructors. There are perameters set in place such as the I Ho Chuan and Sihing assignments, to insure you are following the necessary guidelines and holding the respect to the art along with a well thought out plan to ensure your success. All you have to do is follow them, with vigor, vitality, and respect..... publically.

In my opinion I have failed these responsibities on many counts. I have been a very poor example of upholding my rank and following through on my responsibities as a Sihing and to the I Ho Chuan team, and most importantly to my instuctors and the school. I have shown exactly what not to do. I'm not going to go into details of all the things I dealt with this year, as I see it all though difficult yes, they are life and life doesn't care about your plans or what your excuses are. You must forge ahead and take control of your situations. I had a very difficult time this year doing this. I would grab the reigns and then let go. Get mad and grab them again, only to let go of them once again. I was about as consistant as the readings of a heart rate monitor. My ego, my stuborness, and the inability to recover and climb out of a valley that I fell into basically hampered any success. I would claw and then stop, meanwhile things continued to pile up, so congested that I didn't know where to start. I lost my way, my direction, along with who and what I am.

Even IF I succeded this year as a Black Belt candidate, I would have never been proud or honestly feel I earned the rank, let alone don the belt. A black belt should be able to be placed in any position and perform to the standard you have earned. What kind of Black belt would I be if a student asked me for an example or help and I didn't know or couldn't perform to the level that is asked of me. What if I was asked about my journey and what I did to overcome? Am I going to honestly say, I don't know because I didn't do it or that was an area I failed. I know how I would look at this person and I am not this type of person so why I put myself in that position and see it as okay. I take this all very seriously. I believe in standards and believe in traditions, that's the excitement and it instilles a feeling of great accomplishment. To acomplish something that very few people can.

I went into my grading this year with very little time to prepare due to an injury. I feel I had no business being there in the first place. I saw my attempt at black belt grading as a joke. I should have listened to a close friend of mine and put it off until November. Instead I chose to dive right into it and do it any way. I felt it was now or never and it turned out to be a huge mistake and the end result resonated bad energy and feelings of regret. The fact that there was so many loose ends and so much that had to be redefined or completed that as far as I was concerned, I failed the year right then and there. I felt this is not what I envisioned as my grading and I couldn't continue on knowing that this was what defined my year as a successful black belt. As many times as I tried to pick up where I left off and move forward, my thoughts and beliefs wouldn't let me. I wasn't striving for perfection as this is a myth, but I wanted to do this right and no matter what angle I looked at or approached, nothing would suffice. I felt shame and felt like a complete failure most of the year. I also felt that I made way too many open public claims that never came through and this made me feel like a liar, someone that cant back up their words with action. I struggled with this because I am not this person and never would I be comfortable in my own skin being this type. I am hard on myself and will not accept half attempt or sub standard practices, this is what defines me. Those of you that know me on a personal level or have worked with me know this. If you don't know me you should witness this by what you see from me. This is what made me who I am and the standards I live by. There is no way I am going to bend or relax them, especially in the presence of my instructuors and mentors in the school. But I did just that on many levels and knocked myself down so far that trying to move forward on a level of redemption couldn't be found.  I want to take a moment here to appologize to my instructors, my fellow candidates, the board, the I Ho Chuan team, and to the students for my actions. I never meant to be disrespectful to anyone. It's just how things played out and I appreciate all your time and support that was offered even if I didn't accept or participate.

I will not be promoted to black belt this year as a result of my actions and my inability to lead by example, to complete my tasks to the standard that was expected and asked of me. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, I will be moving forward on what is to be. I have been dragging around many things that no matter how I approach them they will never be sorted out, they are loose baggage that is clogging my thoughts and ambitions to move forward. They must be severed and I need to reset myself. I need to get back to who and what I am and the only way to do this is to move forward and leave behind what is meant to be left behind. I have requested to retest next year in May. Today is December 1 which is to be my starting point of six month preparation to achieve Black Belt. Incremental progress is what will be key to have me prepared to where I want to be. To be the example of what is expected of me. I want to approach this year with out the all or nothing menatlity that has crippled my ability to do this properly. This alone will be a difficult task in itself because I have been that way all my life and with somethings this is great, but for this, not so much. I have my success coaches in place and I am laying out the plans for the upcoming year. I am going to do this right so in the end this will be one of the greatest moments of my life. When I achieve the rank of Black Belt I will be proud and wear my belt with pride, knowing that all I did was done right and everyone seen me do it and was a part of it. That's just the way it has to be. See you at the Kwoon.