It becomes a real moment of truth if you do, or have trained, in the martial arts and suddenly stop or gradually step away from your discipline. Even if it's unintentional. What I mean by this is you suddenly become a doer or a doee. It's not hard to let something go unintentionally through distraction or other things in life that suddenly do, and will take priority over everything. That's life, and how you perceive and act on adaptation continues to cut the path....or doesn't. You just might suddenly lack some tools you once had and can't figure out where they were dropped or just simply placed somewhere else close by, and all you need to do is reach for it. Even in a life of distractions, if something is fully ingrained, it will always be with you. But if you don't keep it front and center, it will lose it's purpose. If you lose the mindset of benefit through investment, it will fade and suddenly it's gone. Even if you are strong willed, it's also very easy to take things for granted, one thinks that no matter what, something that powerful will always be there. But if it doesn't stay with you or you fail to act on the investment through discipline, it never really was. The art within won't grow or maintain on it's own.
A harsh question does seem to come up for me when I constantly notice somethings missing and I fail to act on it. When I can't train the way I want or have the time I want. Was I really in it for me or was I in it to use as a stepping stone or temporary fix to something that was going on? Did I let it slip on purpose because I have lost faith in it's soul purpose, or some how adopted a mindset of corrupted ideology that became a justified excuse? Was it ever really as fully ingrained as I led myself to believe it was? In order to troubleshoot these kinds of things you have to dig deep, all angles, step back and look in the areas you normally don't. The thing is, if I never really had my heart and soul into it in the first place, if I never lived and practiced the art and invested the blood, sweat, and the dirt and appreciated and respected it, made it a part of me, why would I care in the first place that it's gone? Why would I even care to take the time to figure this out and find a solution? I wouldn't. But I do.....every day. I have applied the art in many cases without even realizing it's still just as strong as it ever was, even if I don't see it or feel it physically to the degree I think it should be.
To something that seems so complicated, it is in fact is very basic, just train and continue the investment and embrace even the tiniest amount of discipline and time to my Kung Fu as I can. It must become and remain a priority. Sifu Bryant put a really good post out a while back that really resonated with me. I won't go into it too far, but to put it straight, he brought up a point of financial discipline, pay yourself first. Damn rights pay yourself first! Brilliant point Sifu, thanks. That simple point alone had a major effect on me and instilled a new perspective and approach.
Absence of Kung Fu tends to throw me into another trajectory of aimlessness and frustration, I miss it. I know it's part of me and it needs to become more front and center. I need to change the perspective that it is not gone. Invest in it and me.The longer I have been away from consistent training and the Kwoon, the more and more it burns everyday, not the opposite of fade and call it once was. So that made me feel about better about my current status. I use the lessons and the purpose every day, it's just needs to come front and center, pay myself first. I guess we'll see where it all leads over the next while.
