Concious to subconcious

The last little while has been going along alright as far as my Kung Fu is going. The biggest issue I have is a conscious routine that I can turn into a subconscious routine in regards to my training. I get bored of routines quickly and I lose the moment due to the fact it becomes the mindset that I have to do this. Then the nonconforming side comes out and the heels dig in. Must be the Taurus in me I guess. This mentality has to change or the odds of my Kung Fu evolving are going to remain slow and the odds of me achieving black belt slim to none. So I gave it some thought and thought of all the subconscious routines I have that I don't even think about, but perform almost religiously everyday. The thought process required is quite simple if you step outside of yourself and look at it for what it is. Your training cannot be viewed as a part of your job you hate, or going to the dentist, or paying taxes. It's not something you have to do because someone say's you have to. It's something you want to do, this is your chance to get rid of the day's events. This is the chance to release and relax. So I am trying to develop the excitement of doing all aspects of Kung Fu and the excitement of the I Ho Chuan requirements. I try to think of it all as a gift that I am lucky enough to be part of and create a solid structure so I can look back and be proud of not only a physical development to my Kung Fu, but the evolving of the mental side of it all. This is really starting to restore the excitement for my Kung Fu that has perhaps over the last while stagnated. I'm working on it and my numbers and reps are not where I want them to be, but they will be and a subconscious routine will develop and the numbers will start increasing. I think another huge difference this time around is I am trying to let my body run on auto pilot and not overthinking. When I am practicing my forms I lock my internal critic in a box. When I feel something is not right I make a small mental note and move my thoughts else where and I don't stop the technique or the form to avoid concentrating on that one thing. This definitely takes practice and I am no where near being able to let it all go, but I'm working on it. We'll see what happens. If I can mature this mindset, I think things should roll along cool. See you at the kwoon.

The beginning of a hidden discovery within

Well back home and back to reality. While I was away I started my training regime on Febuary first much like the rest of you. I started with Qi Gong on the beach first thing in the morning followed by push ups and situps. I managed to get in some form reps and some running. Although the numbers aren't where I wanted them to be, the quality is there, and to me that's all that matters. This is due to the fact that as long as you are doing things mindfully, but not mind fully, ( practicing Wu Wei, which I will give my perspective in a bit ) it is automatic, and you are becoming stronger and stronger everyday and your endurance is getting longer and longer everyday. Flexibility, stances, muscle memory, techniques, kicks, punches are all going to improve, so stay cool and roll with it all. You will reach your goals, they are already completed, you just have to get where they are.  This applies to all your Kung Fu. Therefore doing make up sets will be easy, which is not something you should bank on but something that will come involuntary.  I found in the past getting all wound up about numbers and reps stress a person out and in a sense your setting yourself up for failure or unnecessary stress. You lose the whole essence of your Kung Fu, you are travelling in parallel, not as one. Your Kung Fu should not stress you out. You have to look at as a stress reliever, and an escape from everything else. Is it not part of your daily challenges and should it not coincide with everything? Of course, it has too, but it should be treated as an escape, a personal journey of cool excitement. A life tool that installs tranquility and a potent health and physical enhancement. The most important part is to remember, THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY. All though we will all travel in parallel with each other on our paths to mastery, we are all different. Worrying about where others are, and where you are not, frustrations and bad attitudes are ego based. Toss your ego in the garbage, it's a detrimental contribution to contaminating  your Kung Fu. It will grow like a bad weed and it is highly contagious to others around you. Concentrate on your Kung Fu, but have a strong supportive hand out to help others on the team and kick your ego to the curb. One more very important action required is to have fun, and enjoy your journey, it's a gift, not a sentence.

Erica bought me a book for Christmas that I read extensively on my trip. In fact I read it twice. Bruce Lee's; The Toa of Gung Fu. I have already installed some of the things I have learned to my daily Kung Fu and was reminded of some things that I used to do, but some where along the way have let my ego fog my thoughts and discipline. That was then, this is now. One of the many things that struck me that I want to share, was a section on Wu Wei. Wu means "not" or "non" and wei means "action," "doing," "striving," "straining" or "busyness." It doesn't really mean doing nothing, but to let ones mind alone, trusting it to work by itself. Wu Wei, in Kung Fu, means spontaneous action or spirit action, in the sense that the governing force is the mind and not that of the senses. I have heard Sifu Brinker speak of this practice but never really understood it until now. I have the tendency to have an all are nothing approach to things. I tend to over think a lot of my techniques and forms while doing them. Which, under this definition, has thrown wrenches into my training gears and has impaired my advancement. Although I am the type of person that requires a "blue print" to all my Kung Fu, I like to get good before I get fast. I need to achieve a correct form and know it is being done properly before I will continue. To just roll into any aspect of Kung Fu that you don't understand or are performing incorrectly as fast as you can with no knowledge as to why or a solid base is stupid and I refuse to practice this way. However, once I have a correct base and form then I can apply Wu Wei. It really does work. To give you an example. As I was running, I was thinking about my strides and what I need to do to "fix" them so they feel better. My brain was telling me to stop because of the burning fatigue I was feeling. I thought of this discipline and just let my mind wander and let my body do what it wants. When I finally came out of it, I was running along smoothly, nice even strides, and I felt no fatigue as I travelled at least a mile. Way too cool man! So now that I know I am capable of this, let the practice of Wu Wei commence. See you at the Kwoon.

From one animal to the next

As I sit going over my plans I have laid out for the year of the horse and go over the successful moments and the failures of the year of the snake, I contemplate. I think about people on the team and how they have grown. I think about how I interacted with most of them and hopefully I helped them the same way they helped me. We don't really realize at times how the smallest comment or even just a smile will inspire you to do your best and remain engaged within the team. When you see others training and sweating, they're forms evolving, the mixed emotions, new discoveries within themselves, overcoming life problems, sickness and injuries, it inspires and makes you feel proud.  When you have a group of people doing awesome things and are not afraid to hold you accountable when your not, it keeps your own discipline in check. I had the pleasure of training with some really awesome martial artists this year. For that I am grateful and a big thanks goes out to the team that helped me so much.
I had some lows yes, but who hasn't. Just gotta keep going and not give up. Probably the toughest issue I had was when I realized I wasn't going to be here for the banquet. How the heck am I going to finish now and what's the point anyway. The year has been mostly missed and now I am not even going to be here for the finish. It couldn't end this way. So I offered to the team as a reliable sub and did my best to follow through and help out where I could. This was the best part of the whole year for me. I helped out my teammates in a time of need and it meant so much to be there with them. I participated in various spots in the dragon, helped out with the lion, and was a crash test dummy for the candidates. I had the opportunity to see the full dance and the demo, it was just awesome man! I did mange to make a video of my sais form but in all honesty I am glad it won't be part of the demo. To me it's plastic, and if anything would take away the authenticity and completely thrash the flow. So I'm cool with that and I'm so proud and moved by the finished product of the demo, nice work team! You all look awesome. One more cool highlight of the year I need to mention, I am sporting one of the most wildly coloured black eyes in my life into which has been an excellent source of attention pretty much anywhere I go. Thanks. Getting back to the candidates, you guys look awesome and I couldn't be more happier for you. Good luck. To the rest of the team good luck tomorrow night and Happy New Year to you all! See you at the kwoon.

Utilizing down time

Nobody likes to have to take time out for sickness or injuries. I happen to love it in a way. This gives me time to sharpen up on the theoretical end of Kung Fu and educate myself on natural healing methods, foods, and read up on so much information from other martial artists and health and fitness guru's, if you will. I read a massive amount of the life long benefits of Qigong and how it will be part of my training from this point on. I learnt some really cool stretching techniques, more about diet while training, and it's cool to learn from the pioneers and some of the modern martial artists. I like to watch old school footage of martial artists sparring with no equipment and marvel on they're pain threshold. Let alone the amount of bones they used to break back then, wow. Old interviews with the likes of Bruce Lee, Joe Lewis, Ed Parker, Chuck Norris, and so many more, way too many too mention. I read about quotes and interviews from all kinds of Masters and Black Belts from so many schools and disciplines. I have also been watching some pretty cool movies, like the Ip Man trilogy. Ya I know they're movies but I also looked into every thing about him in real life. Pretty wild story and very cool artist.  It also gives me time to really dissect some of our techniques and why we train the way we do. For example, most of us have done the 15 rep push up on our finger tips. Once you reach five you lift a finger and do four more on four finger tips, then three and so on until you do the last single push up on your thumb. What's the point of this? We should just call this the " show off set ". I could be deemed to have a serious glue sniffing problem, but this is my perspective and how I apply it to my Kung Fu. If you think of all those fancy hand techniques and strikes we are taught this might make sense. In order to successfully utilize hand techniques, you need strong hands. If you have wimpy, soggy hands, you will hurt yourself more than an attacker. So when I think of the first five fingertip push ups, I think of strengthening the tiger claw. With the four, I think of strengthening the cranes beak or our grabs when doing joint locks. Without the thumb of course. With the three I think of strengthening the eagles talon. With two I think of the fish hook, with the thumb I think of the iron thumb, because it makes your thumb, well iron. I sure this benefits more than the techniques mentioned but this is what came to my mind. I guess the point of this blog is the engagement and your training will only stop when your down if you let it. So use the time to learn and plan. Educate yourself, that way when your healed and ready to go back, you're already that much better and that much more prepared for whatever comes at you. You know how to heal better and learn proper martial artist maintenance.

Animals and Earth

I love animals of all sorts. Maybe perhaps cold, but in some cases I would help an animal over some human beings that inhabit the earth, especially now a days. Growing up on a farm and growing up in a farming community offered ample amounts of exposure to all sorts of creatures. From having to feed and herd the cattle to past year during the summer, and back home in the fall, believe me I put on some miles at a young age. We had sheep, chickens of various types, geese, and rabbits. The presence of a dog was always there and many friendships. We also ate most of these animals. This is also something else I was exposed to at an early age. One thing about it though, my father made it very clear about the respect that must be given to animals. They must never suffer. They must be handled with care. They must be watered and fed, period. There was also necessary measures that were taken to insure they're place of residence was kept neat and orderly. When they were sick, a veterinarian was dispatched and they were taken care of. If it was too bad and there was no hope, we shot them. No suffering. When the cattle were being shipped out on the cattle liners, my father and his brothers would load the cattle. I remember my Dad used to always keep the cattle calm when they were being loaded. They used whips yes, but not much. He seemed to understand the cattle's fear. He also absolutely detested the electric cattle prod. I seen him once come unglued on a truck driver that thought he was going to get cute and use it. I think perhaps if his kids weren't present, he probably would've used it on the driver to "help" him back in his truck. Personally I would have used it on him until he pissed himself. That's just me.

The point of all of this is, I think I have finally watched enough documentaries and read enough facts about how damaging the whole food industry is to the animals and the earth, and to probably the most stupidest creatures on earth. Us. But we're right in the mix. As consumers of meat. The abuse and cruelty of animals is sickening, I won't go into details on this, but I will say we should be ashamed of ourselves. From killing 70% of the rain forest to accommodate livestock, to now dragging a net right on the ocean floor. A 50 acre swath is pulling out everything, from plants to sea life that we don't even eat, leaving nothing behind but a marine waste land. Pulled up to a floating processing factory that just discards life after separation that takes many years to replace. Can you imagine being so stupid and selfish. Like over fishing wasn't enough. The amount of chemicals in our food now is insane. From food giants actually trying to patent vegetables and refusing to stop modifying our foods, let alone tell us what the hells in it. Lagoons containing animal waste is being sprayed on crops and the run off is going into our own water system. Anyone notice the increase of Ecoli presence.

So I thought, what am I going to do. We have to eat. I can't take on the food company's. As much as I would love to take some idiot running one and throw him on an island made of his money and nothing else. Then throw him his wife and kids and tell him, " Here you go, lets see how your money is going to keep you alive now" I think the only way to make a difference, is to stop contributing to this. I think the only way to make a difference, although a small one, is to become a vegetarian for starters. I admit the thought did make me shudder, I've eaten meat all my life. It also made me feel like I am giving up something. Then I looked at my daughter and the decision became obvious. What have we done. What have we let happen. Why am I feeding her this shit and leaving nothing but a polluted planet behind for her and her family. Her generation. She has to know at least her parents tried to make a difference for the better. That her parents took a stand and stopped contributing to this madness. Although in one way or another, we're trapped into this agenda. I just have to focus on my own agenda to keep the awareness sharp and do what I can to reduce my participation and raise as much awareness as I can. You never know unless you try. The thing that bothers me the most is how we all sit back like sheep and let it all happen. How we are gagged and put in a position of helplessness because our governments do nothing and the most powerful and influential people are the most pathetic. Powered by a piece of paper with some dead persons face on it and getting away with murder on the largest scale. The whole planet and everything on it. I just don't know.

Thoughts from the deep

It's been very busy the last little while with the after math of a challenge and life. Spending three quarters of the year working everyday and trying to maintain all, has left behind a whole pile of items that need to be completed. Items that were set aside so I could take my Kung Fu and the discipline of mastery to a higher level in my career. I didn't choose a career to stay at the same level day after day. My focus has always been to excel, the sky's the limit only if you let it limit you. The same should follow suit for anything you are passionate about. If your ambitious and enjoy challenges and not scared to march to your own drum, this should never be an issue. If you don't, you become stagnant and in some cases resentful. A poor attitude develops and you tend to become judgemental and focus on finding fault in everyone and everything around you. You become an excuse master and accomplish absolutely nothing. Things around you are piling up and you are doing nothing but waiting for the perfect moment to get yourself together and have the perfect productive day. Guess what? The word perfect is a myth, from any angle, period. You steer your own ship and right now you are in the haul chipping away at what is the very thing keeping you a float. The very thing that is a complete composition of everything you are about. Everything you have respect for and gifts you were given by others to make you solid. Soon your journey will cease and you will go down with your ship. Then as you plunge to the bottom of an ocean of self pity, that you created, you sit. Looking up you see many hands reaching down to pull you back up. To help bring you up to heal and rebuild you and your ship. Instead of reaching up and accepting the help and being reminded of all the things you should be grateful for, you kick, punch, and bite. Pushing away the offering and isolating yourself further. You look up again and there are no hands there. Tolerance for the selfishness you have displayed is depleted. Trying to raise yourself to the surface is almost impossible because of the over bearing weight you decided to load your shoulders up with. These are your problems and your weight. You chose everything you decided to carry and now you must shed in order to surface. Some things are easily shaken off because you have come to the realization they are useless to you and you can't change what you can't control. As you throw those things off you begin to slowly rise to surface. Some things are not possible to shake off, they are in grown into your composition so you must find a place for it and continue to rise. Some things thrown off have many attachments that entangle themselves around whatever you leave vulnerable. Cut them off and get your point across in an aggressive matter if that what it takes. If things work out this way you should come to the surface and find all that you are made up of floating beside you and are completely salvageable, and what you don't is at the bottom where they belong. Looking further you see the same place you left off. The sea of anger and self pity has now turned to a sea of  peace and a goal driven charter. You see so much ahead that you should be grateful for and things that are going to make your journey fresh and fulfilling. Traveling with people that care about you and people that are willing to share what they can is all the back up you'll ever need. Don't make jerks out of them and isolate yourself. Embrace them and slap your ego and pride around a bit if that is also something you need to do. So fire up the drums and get back on the path where you belong. Most importantly ditch the self pity and the blame of others, you are the one doing the navigating. And if your not, talk to someone that's not afraid to tell you how it is and learn from them, instead of firing back with excuses.

One last thing to put out to those from the I Ho Chuan team that made it this far without scrolling ahead. I have an announcement to make to the team this Friday. It is something that is weighing heavily and must be mentioned face to face. I refuse to hide behind a computer screen and post it. Out of respect for the team and myself this must be done in person. See you at the Kwoon.

This years gifts

Being on a the snake team this year was a benefit on so many equations. I had many highs and although smaller low's, they hit very hard. The highs were being able to achieve a level of form with the sais. I really enjoyed working with the sais this year. It was my chance and a challenge to come up with a display of creativity on my behalf and from the input of others on the team. Even if they don't realize it, they're a big part of it and I feel pretty good about where the weapon form is. The demo we did on Canada Day was an awesome day and I felt humbled among the skill level that was displayed by the team that day on all fronts. It was great to be able to show up and help out the team whenever I had the chance to do so. Meeting people and working with them on a different level than Kung Fu is always beneficial and it feels better to step up to respect your commitment when an opportunity arises. Next up was the Tiger Challenge. This was the best day of the year. On this particular event you get to see all the hard work and training come out. It was probably the most casual and humorous sparring/ point sparring I have ever witnessed at a school tournament. People were laughing and the atmosphere was just cool. It was extremely difficult for me to do my forms this year. Probably the most nervous I have ever been at anytime doing Kung Fu publically. Usually I can go into a zone and before I know it I'm done. This time my heart was beating like a Mac 10 and I thought my head was going to explode, I could sense a number of mistakes and felt very uncomfortable. But I did it and I feel good about it. Certain areas in my training have matured to a better understanding. I'm starting to see how things come together and  how to troubleshoot my Kung Fu. The awareness to what I'm doing has multiplied. My quantity is not as high as it should be, but the quality to what I'm doing is getting better. What little time I had for most of the year was spent breaking down everything I needed to fix in order to continue. This year has really given me a lot of difficulties but a vast amount of training and life knowledge by overcoming obstacles and making mistakes. I think the last thing I really liked, for the most part, was the board breaking. The public failings make you feel like you suck, but every time a board didn't break I learned something. That's all I can really think of for now.