A perspective and maybe a touch of analogy

TEAM. Total energy amongst many. In one way or another everyone is awesome in their own way, a multitude of gifts and strengths can smash all obstacles and is an extraordinary and lethal display of power and beauty. A group of people or a group of inanimate objects work as many to become one. The higher the number, the greater the efficiency. There is no weakness when an effort and dignity is practiced on a professional and committed basis. There is no reason to hide or think things will just go away when you are part of group that operates in a non judgemental and helping way. Because it won't go away and when you have many eyes looking for you, you will be found and you will have to stand up and take responsibility for your actions and speak up to what exactly the problems are. You will not be forgotten until you put your puzzle in the middle of the room and let  many hands help put it together and bring closure to the outline of what the picture is supposed to be. You won't be removed due to other people, That is a responsibility that will and should not be made by others . But by you. Regardless of what one might think, this challenge can be done by anyone and its never too late to pick up where you left off,  because its your challenge. But don't forget you also committed to 21 other people that you are ignoring. 21 other people that are covering your ass and carrying your weight and not even getting as much as an email or post. We have highly committed members that have spent most of this challenge out of town and away from the kwoon and their families and we know where their at and what they are doing and we have their backs. Where the heck are the rest of you and what are you doing? We have members that live a stones throw away that I haven't even seen or know if they are still participating. I'm not perfect nor have I lived up to all the commitments but I am maintaining an online presence and doing everything I absolutely can to finish with some dignity and respect to the challenge and the I Ho Chaun. Most people know where I am at and what I am doing and I refuse to slap them in the face. Tonight after class Sifu Brinker spoke to us and said something that hit home. He said "I'm the one who has failed" Now that really pissed me off alot because thats how deep the man cares for his students, and thats how much he wants to see all of us better ourselves. Thats how much he has offered to help. Well I'm not going to kick him in the nuts and walk away. And no, this is not a ass kissing statement, I don't roll like that. What you see is what you get, I call it like I see it, and my word is my signature. I will be at that meeting tomorrow and I will also use every available moment I have to work and help with anybody that wants to hang and do some Kung Fu. I will post whenever I can get away and train and will accept any offer I can participate in.  Some may feel who the heck does this guy think he is? Well I'll tell you, I'm a student that trains at silent river kung fu, I am a brown belt and I made a commitment to 21 others that I care about and a challenge I intend to honour.
 A part of a machine that fails can be compensated by others for a while until a quick maintenance can be performed. A part that refuses to fit due to improper composition or is not structurally sound or perhaps the partsman won't even take the order or call you back is going to cause a major breakdown that will require many replacements and in some cases severe mechanical failure. Then a major rebuild is required. Everyone of us on this team is responsible for a part of the I Ho Chuan machine. Think about it.
Brian  Chervenka

Looking up a steep mountain

Here we are in August already and it has come down to crunch time. While I was on holidays it gave me a chance to reflect and collect exactly what needs to be done to finish this challenge in a full filling way and with some respect to those that created it. It also gave my badly sprained foot some time to heal up. Back in May while trying to earn my board breaking stripe, I fired a roundhouse kick and hit the bottom corner of a black board.  I knew right away that something was wrong about 2 hours later when throbbing pain began. It proceeded to move around from the bottom to the top various areas and different pain sensations. I knew I should rest it and I did use ice, heat, a dump truck load of ibuprofen, oil of oregano, and other remedies. I couldn't stop training, not being this close to completing my brown belt and the motivation of completing a goal. Plus I have bills to pay and mouths to feed, so it is what it is. I will keep going and hopefully it will heal on the fly. Some times I have a very stubborn streak and sometimes just plain stupid. I refuse to stop and pain only hurts if you let it. I did go see a doctor and x-rays where taken and there was no signs of a break or fracture, nothing but some swelling. I have never had a injury like this before in my life, I just don't know.

Moving on though, I will be focusing on completing my goals of 5000 kicks and 1000 stretching minutes this month. I plan on trying to complete a couple goals a month until the challenge is up, its all or nothing at this stage. My kicks need major work and I struggle with flexability issues. Lack of flexibilty is a deterant for me because it takes a long time for me to gain any and when I do if I slack off on kicks or stretching I'm back to square one. So like everyone in some way I get discouraged and pout instead of continuing as diligently as I should. This is why I chose these two goals to do together. What kind of example am I setting to lower belts when I do warm ups and I can't execute a decent kick. What message am I sending to my Sifus when I have been training as long as I have and I still have major work to do on my kicks. Not a very good one in my perspective anyway. So I am hoping to kill several birds with one stone. Improving my kicks, flexability and building muscle and endurance in my legs is the focus. Come September I should have some better kicks and better flexability and a far more stable center. Thats the plan anyway.

Traveling

Well I'm off on a vacation headed south to hopefully rack up some km's walking and riding my bike in the mountains of southern B.C. and Alberta. Looking forward to a long over due break with my girls. I have a training plan for August and of course the last few months to try and finish strong that I will share when I return. See you in a week.
Brian Chervenka

Where I'm at and how I got here

When I first started this challenge it was in a land that had many different roads that I wasn't used to or with some requirements, wanted anything to do with. For example blogging, I have never blogged a thing in my life let alone work with a computer much. Recording a handwritten daily log of each step of accomplishment. Being nice to everybody, repairing a wounded relationship, setting personal goals that we all have but keep them on the back burner. Keeping it there until we believe the timing is right. But really we are just procrastinating or blatantly being chicken #$%&. All the more reason to jump into it with guns a blazing. I remember going over the requirements and thinking this is going to do wonders for all aspects of personal improvemnt in not only our training, but bettering ourselves as people. This is probably a very good thing because for the most part we all try to be decent, but there is a major #%&hole in all of us at some point that rears its irrational or selfish head. This made it very exciting and a stiff challenge, something we all seem to love as martial artists. It was also at the time when the black belt promotions were happening, there was a fire of inspiration that was blazing within. I still to this day hold each and everyone of those black belts in very high admiration and respect. It was the most influential group that I have witnessed and I hope to fulfill the standard that not only they set as candidates but to the school and our lineage. What better tool could you be given than this challenge to prepare and train to be a black belt. I went into it wide open, trying to do a count of every requirement daily. For a while this worked pretty good.
Then life and obligations and commitments kicked in. Soon keeping up with the challenge wasn't so manageable anymore. the guilt and the feeling of being uncommited set in. More and more requests for help came on kwoon talk and our monthly meetings came up and I couldn't make it. I never back down from a challenge or not do what I say I'm going to do. So in order to stay true to the challenge I started staying up later to fill the numbers, log them and so on. Staying up later and later to complete numbers and complete tasks around the house and whatever else came up. Time with family and my responsibility to my wife and youngest daughter, time that should always come first but doesn't always work out. Then lets start dealing with the guilt and the personal critizisms that we all beat the crap out of ourselves over and over until we are way down. A few months of this and exhaustion set in big time. If I sat down and didn't have anything to occupy my mind or body I would fall asleep. Nodding off driving home from work, not cool. I often thought to myself there is no way I'm going to make it through alive if I don't change something quick. When it came time to train I was beat and really started to just do things mindlessly and sloppy just to get it done. I started to resent the challenge and kung fu in general. Thinking I have to go do this, now I feel I am being forced to do this and if I don't I'm pussing out and should just backout. Yes quitting did come to mind so I knew at this point I really had to get it together. Like the old saying "there is no such thing as can't" and I never quit. Then the nonconformist nature I have fires up and teams up with super stubborn. Now I am doing very little everyday and living with the guilt and thought of being a poser. After all I am training with silent river black belts, the top of the line. You can't buy this kind of exposure and experience. Let alone all the sihings and fellow students that I train with.
So I stood back and really thought about a way to make this work and how commited I was to the challenge. So I looked and seen how far I have come and what requirements I have completed and really it wasn't so bad, but ofcourse to ourselves its never good enough. One goal I worked really hard at was to be a sihing by june, I earned 6 stripes in 5 months, I didn't fulfill the goal but nonetheless I felt good about how far I did get. I have participated in everything I could and felt extremely proud to be in our demo. I ignored the segregation and the numbers and started doing what I could whenever I could. Basing my progress daily and not concentrating on all, assessing my strong points and focusing on the weaker. My push ups and sittups have fallen behind but I'm not concerned about those, with my new approach some days I'll do 50-70 other days 300 plus and I feel good about them. I am mindful of the techniques and am doing things properly not just doing the old half push up or sittup at mock nine. Same with kicks, forms, sparring on my heavy bag or whatever. I am concentrating on quality. When I go for walks or bike rides I am being mindful of my steps or miles enjoying nature, thinking about Kung Fu or just spending time with my girls. I am not concerned with the final numbers, they are a goal setting process. The way I am approaching this thought process is if I am going to do all of these requirements in such a massive quantity they better be done properly and they should mean something. Otherwise I just wasted a pile of time and all of this training was for nothing.
Overall when it comes to some of the requirements I won't see completion, with others I will. I push very hard some days and others not so much but still getting something done. My engagement and adaptability to life and my Kung Fu is fairly balanced at the moment and my mind set on the whole thing has improved greatly. Now its more like it should be, I can't wait to do more Kung Fu, I can't wait to go to class or hit as many classes as I can. The only thing left hangin really is my absence at meetings or other times when I can't be there for the team. But I am doing my best. Sorry for the long post but since I have missed so many meetings I thought it would be the right thing to share with alittle more depth from me and the five animals.
Brian Chervenka

Long time, no word

Yes it has been a while since I have communicated in anyway and for that I apologize to all on the team. I hadn't really come across anything spectacular and really didn't have much to say. I'm not going to go into any excuses of work and family commitments because thats what everybody deals with everyday. I find it awkward to just put something down for the sake of blogging, and it not have any real thought or experience. I'm also new to blogging so I find that to be challenging at times as well.
As for the month of june, it was a good month for some catch up. The numbers don't total as plentiful as I would have liked but the effort was there and that was the fun part. It was a challenging month though with work and an aggressive schedule and a really bad sprain in my right foot that occurred in may. It made lots of things challenging like training, bootcamp, etc. but the show must go on. One thing about injuries is you learn to adapt and carry on with your day and your training, moving your body different ways and changing the procedures you are used to using without thought everyday. I think of it as reserved thoughts for survival.
 The best part of June though is how it ended. When I received the e-mail to perform in the Canada Day demo I was vapour locked, a little nervous and beaming with overwhelming excitement. I felt it a honour to go out and represent our school and do a demo with some of our black belts and fellow teamates from the I Ho Chuan team. Everyone from the lion dancers to all those who displayed full blown deadly art did awesome. It was just something I will never forget. And thanks to all the black belts I hounded for the pre show "wanting to puke all over the place" advice on how not too.
Brian Chervenka

Benefits of change and practice

This month the main focus on my training and requirements have been on forms, kicks, and of course the meat and potatoes of our training, push ups and sit ups. I slowed down abit on the push ups and sittups last month not due to laziness but rather I was getting bored with them. If things get boring you have to source motivation on something else to remain mindful but to also stay engaged on what you are doing and why. To me if your doing something because you feel you have to and your hearts not in it, your wasting your time. Plus, after a break you sometimes are better and more aware of what you might have been missing before and your even better from where you left off. Thats the great thing about kung fu, there is never a shortage of new sources to challenge and improve on, that is a never ending quest. You will never know it all and never perfect every aspect, but you can sure try. It seems the more you practice the more you have to build and improve and actually figure out what the heck your doing and why you have to do things a certain way in order to evolve and get that much closer to mastery.
I recently discovered a partial concept of center. While working on my stances, particularly my bo stance and straightening my back leg and engaging my hip while performing a technique, I visualized me throwing the punch from my hips. The power came from two directions going outward from my hips, out through my arm and down my leg out my back heel. Instead of throwing a punch and feeling the power coming from my shoulder or a kick fired from my leg I started to concentrate on executing all techniques from my abdomen and using it as the source. The more I practiced the more aware I became of what is really supposed to happen. All the times I heard Sifus say punch, kick, and block from the hip, incorporate the six harmonies, etc. Speaking of the six harmonies I now understand physically what they're about because I could feel my hands/feet, elbows/knees, shoulders/hips in sync, it was just too cool and alot more powerful techniques. The rest of the Six harmonies I'm still working on. Well thats where I am, and thats what I'm doing.

Where was I!?

Over the past 5 weeks or so my numbers and training have suffered a substantial hit. I wandered off the path and found myself trying to get back but all the trails were uphill and and it was very foggy. Only being able to get small amounts of repetitions and taking on too much leaves nothing but confusion and frustration. The sense of overwhelming was prevalent and left me asking myself, "what the heck was I thinking, taking this challenge on!" There is not enough time in a normal day to go over the curriculum to a sufficient level, nevermind 10,000 other things to complete and everything that goes along with everyday life. Then a thought blasted through and I remembered exactly why, to better my family, training, and my community. Since I have stopped trying to plan and set up specific times to train things have come back to where they should be. I am no longer feeling the stress or the guilt of not doing what I should because I am doing what I can whenever I can and the numbers are coming back and the great feeling of training is back full on. I haven't updated my Physout forever and my written journal was very, very vague. So as I started to write down numbers and thoughts the way it should be done, that feeling of where I was a month ago was starting to waken and my kung fu was coming back to me. Yes my training method may be alittle scattered to some and on some counts I have already failed this challenge but I am confident when I look back at the end of the year, my teammates and I will all be very proud of what we have all accomplished and perhaps learnt from what we haven't.
The month of June is going to be a catch up month for me for I have set a goal on what I am going to have completed and the challenge of a mindful diet thrown in and taken seriously should be enough for now.