Becoming one function

Its kinda weird moving to another level of Kung Fu. As you work through the curriculum your training matures to different levels. Once you grade and pass, there is the excitement of a new challenge and another group of forms, techniques, and fitness levels. Now you have gone through all the colours and you are now able to prepare for your black belt test. I have to admit as I reviewed the curriculum there was quite a bit that I don't remember. But there is also quite a bit I do remember. I am glad that from blue belt up until now I attended as many of the other classes as I could, because it kept me engaged. Also the importance of doing your homework on all the forms or techniques I didn't understand or it took time to learn. Those repetitions installed muscle memory that stayed in my thoughts and body. Things I have forgotten come back naturally after a brief review, others I don't have a clue. I don't carry any doubt of whether or not I have earned my stripes or belt levels because I have faith in all of my teachers, If I wasn't ready they would not have advanced me, end of story.That in itself can be intimidating and install doubt, if you let it. I started to think of how I need to do this and I need to do that, and holy #@%& I have lots of work to do and...... Stop you idiot! I have this year to complete first in the I Ho Chuan and that is the focus. People are counting on each other for help and completion. I don't want to slip back into the "blinders on" mode and be completely self centered and hog this tool to myself again. Because that will happen if I don't stay focused on the team and what WE are trying to ALL accomplish here.The engagement and discipline that the I Ho Chaun has installed in our training is cutting the path and making things on all sides alot more managable. The hardest challenge I have now is getting to the Sihing class. I know I am missing out and this bothers me alot. Which is why staying engaged is imperative and just how can I make this work. I just want to tell my boss to pound this job you know where. But then what have I learned and how am I going to excel in my career. Well I put forth a proposition on our scheduling and it sounds like it is a go. So thats one down. The other is the segregation of work, Kung Fu, and family. This is something I have been working on the last few weeks and what I have done is put my work and my Kung Fu together. I ended up working a 12 hour day yesterday and was becoming irritated as I knew there was no way I was going to get a single class in as I was stuck working under the Dawson bridge. So do you pout and be mad because you have to train at home and still eat etc. or do you walk and negotiate steel and bracing to the center of the bridge and do 100 p/u over the water as the sun shines down and the water is calm. If your going that far why not lock your legs under the wind bracing and do two sets of 50 s/u on the bottom chord with no ground to rest your back on. Those where cool and what a burn! After that why not do some form reps under the adbutment after you wrap up for the day and head home.
The point is I took advantage of a break and applied my Kung Fu. Family and Kung Fu are coming together also as my little one now trains at Silent River and we did p/u and s/u together tonight. When I get the chance I run with my wife or go for walks or bike rides my girls to rack up some kms. So we'll see how this works. Also things are now getting alot easier to manage now that everything is slowly becoming consolidated and its just fun dammit!

Brian Chervenka

A new level

My training as a whole has come to a rough patch of road and many blind corners that I will have to circumnavigate to remain on the path. Blind corners such as how I am going to attend Sihing class and remain true to my goals and accomplishments. I have taken on another job with another contractor that specializes in many technical and challenging aspects of my trade. There is also another aspect that I have not yet ventured. I have been given the responsibility of general foreman position on an up and coming job. This commitment and challenge will be alot of hours, like 7 days a week and 10-12 hour days. The good part is that it will be in the city, not in Ft. McMurray. Which really has no relevance because I don't believe in the oil sands or the destruction of the environment it causes, not too mention the shallow attempt to de skill tradesman by corporate greed so anyone can do anything and work for alot less money. In the corporate mind, we aren't worth a descent wage or conditions of dignity. I like to call these sort "sheeple" and I refuse to share or practice any of my skills that have been passed on to me from excellent tradesman that I have been trained under. I refuse to work up there, period.

The challenge of staying on track and getting to train has to take on a new or redefined discipline because once you are promoted to Sihing your on your own. You have to take the reigns and figure out how you are going to prepare for one of the great moments in your Kung Fu. How you are going to apply and memorize all your forms, techniques, and theory. Planning 5 techniques with a reliable partner, board breaking, and of course completing another year in the I Ho Chuan. I have started to prioratize certain aspects and I think I have a way I can attend Sihing class. One thing I know that is going to be hard is seeing the requests come on kwoon talk and not being there to help. Demo practices, monthly meetings and I Ho Chuan class. But really after trying my first attempt in the I Ho Chuan and in some ways failing and in others growing. I know it will all work out the way its supposed too. The challenge of balancing work, training, and family is pretty common for most of us and I witness success in many different ways on the team and learn something from each and everyone of you that has made a great impact on my life and my training and there is always someone to help you or needs help and I think perhaps this is why I am not really worried( too much!) about it.
But I have to step back and figure out which road to take and why.

Brian Chervenka

Two black stripes and the I Ho Chuan

Its been two days since my promotion to Sihing and I still have a plethora of mixed emotions. There is a presence of accomplishment, reflection, and the excitement of a new beginning. That night I stopped and reflected on memories of when I first started and to where I am now. Wow, what a trip its been. The demands of physical and mental loads, the awakening of awareness and the depletion of some of my stubborn ways and my lack of empathy for people I thought were at the end of their gene pool and not long for this world because the evolution for them is over. Training at the hall, doing forms and kicks in my basement or garage or wherever. The discipline of doing my homework, because I knew the minute my next class came whoever the Sifu was that was teaching at the time would know right away if I did or not. The attention to detail of our black belts is infallable, they know whether you did your homework or not and that kind of discipline for me was what I was trying to source at that time in my life when I first set foot in the kwoon and met Sifu Brinker for the first time. Kung Fu has given me so many tools to improve and has shown me how to completely utilize some I already had but not using to their full potential. Attending boot camps, throwing kicks and punches to the point of exhaustion. Introductions to many kinds of weapons. This is something I have always wanted to do but never followed through. But the best part of it all is the people I have met and trained with. Students I have watched and admired, respected and learnt from. Witnessing students go from Que belts to Sihings, to Black belts. Watching some of my teachers earning their second and third degree rank, seventh degree, was just plain cool. People at the kwoon are all from different walks of life and everyone is unique. I don't find shallow politics, self entitlement or judgemental practices. The ones I have seen with this sort of mind set usually don't make it period or realize it won't fly at the kwoon and evolve into something spectacular.

One of my personal goals this year was to achieve Sihing rank and this was accomplished by participating in the I Ho Chuan. This has done a huge amount of things for my training and I really didn't notice just how much until now. My ability to adapt to almost anything life throws at me and still get in something pertaining to the art and the huge amplification of engagement. Engagement that has matured my training past the point I thought was ever possible. I don't look at my training as rungs in a ladder that I am trying to climb. I see a long road ahead but can envision all my goals in the distance, all the way to grand master. I have a busy year coming up and I plan on grading next year. This is going to be a tough one due to a promotion and the hours that will be coming at me. Trying to make my class on fridays is already going to be a challenge, but I will figure something out. The attention to the mechanics of every technique, form, kicks, and fitness has given me a deep perspective to my Kung Fu. What exactly I'm doing and why. Why something sucks and how to fix it. The awareness to all the things going on in the world and what I can do to at least try to help and make other people see whats happening. Pulling me out of my privacy and share with others what I am thinking. Helping me realize its okay to ask for help and work with others. That it is not a sign of weakness, but an excellent opportunity to evolve into a better martial artist and person. As I look back and see how far I have come, and look ahead to where I am going. I know I will full fill my goals as I look down at two black stripes.

Brian Chervenka

A perspective and maybe a touch of analogy

TEAM. Total energy amongst many. In one way or another everyone is awesome in their own way, a multitude of gifts and strengths can smash all obstacles and is an extraordinary and lethal display of power and beauty. A group of people or a group of inanimate objects work as many to become one. The higher the number, the greater the efficiency. There is no weakness when an effort and dignity is practiced on a professional and committed basis. There is no reason to hide or think things will just go away when you are part of group that operates in a non judgemental and helping way. Because it won't go away and when you have many eyes looking for you, you will be found and you will have to stand up and take responsibility for your actions and speak up to what exactly the problems are. You will not be forgotten until you put your puzzle in the middle of the room and let  many hands help put it together and bring closure to the outline of what the picture is supposed to be. You won't be removed due to other people, That is a responsibility that will and should not be made by others . But by you. Regardless of what one might think, this challenge can be done by anyone and its never too late to pick up where you left off,  because its your challenge. But don't forget you also committed to 21 other people that you are ignoring. 21 other people that are covering your ass and carrying your weight and not even getting as much as an email or post. We have highly committed members that have spent most of this challenge out of town and away from the kwoon and their families and we know where their at and what they are doing and we have their backs. Where the heck are the rest of you and what are you doing? We have members that live a stones throw away that I haven't even seen or know if they are still participating. I'm not perfect nor have I lived up to all the commitments but I am maintaining an online presence and doing everything I absolutely can to finish with some dignity and respect to the challenge and the I Ho Chaun. Most people know where I am at and what I am doing and I refuse to slap them in the face. Tonight after class Sifu Brinker spoke to us and said something that hit home. He said "I'm the one who has failed" Now that really pissed me off alot because thats how deep the man cares for his students, and thats how much he wants to see all of us better ourselves. Thats how much he has offered to help. Well I'm not going to kick him in the nuts and walk away. And no, this is not a ass kissing statement, I don't roll like that. What you see is what you get, I call it like I see it, and my word is my signature. I will be at that meeting tomorrow and I will also use every available moment I have to work and help with anybody that wants to hang and do some Kung Fu. I will post whenever I can get away and train and will accept any offer I can participate in.  Some may feel who the heck does this guy think he is? Well I'll tell you, I'm a student that trains at silent river kung fu, I am a brown belt and I made a commitment to 21 others that I care about and a challenge I intend to honour.
 A part of a machine that fails can be compensated by others for a while until a quick maintenance can be performed. A part that refuses to fit due to improper composition or is not structurally sound or perhaps the partsman won't even take the order or call you back is going to cause a major breakdown that will require many replacements and in some cases severe mechanical failure. Then a major rebuild is required. Everyone of us on this team is responsible for a part of the I Ho Chuan machine. Think about it.
Brian  Chervenka

Looking up a steep mountain

Here we are in August already and it has come down to crunch time. While I was on holidays it gave me a chance to reflect and collect exactly what needs to be done to finish this challenge in a full filling way and with some respect to those that created it. It also gave my badly sprained foot some time to heal up. Back in May while trying to earn my board breaking stripe, I fired a roundhouse kick and hit the bottom corner of a black board.  I knew right away that something was wrong about 2 hours later when throbbing pain began. It proceeded to move around from the bottom to the top various areas and different pain sensations. I knew I should rest it and I did use ice, heat, a dump truck load of ibuprofen, oil of oregano, and other remedies. I couldn't stop training, not being this close to completing my brown belt and the motivation of completing a goal. Plus I have bills to pay and mouths to feed, so it is what it is. I will keep going and hopefully it will heal on the fly. Some times I have a very stubborn streak and sometimes just plain stupid. I refuse to stop and pain only hurts if you let it. I did go see a doctor and x-rays where taken and there was no signs of a break or fracture, nothing but some swelling. I have never had a injury like this before in my life, I just don't know.

Moving on though, I will be focusing on completing my goals of 5000 kicks and 1000 stretching minutes this month. I plan on trying to complete a couple goals a month until the challenge is up, its all or nothing at this stage. My kicks need major work and I struggle with flexability issues. Lack of flexibilty is a deterant for me because it takes a long time for me to gain any and when I do if I slack off on kicks or stretching I'm back to square one. So like everyone in some way I get discouraged and pout instead of continuing as diligently as I should. This is why I chose these two goals to do together. What kind of example am I setting to lower belts when I do warm ups and I can't execute a decent kick. What message am I sending to my Sifus when I have been training as long as I have and I still have major work to do on my kicks. Not a very good one in my perspective anyway. So I am hoping to kill several birds with one stone. Improving my kicks, flexability and building muscle and endurance in my legs is the focus. Come September I should have some better kicks and better flexability and a far more stable center. Thats the plan anyway.

Traveling

Well I'm off on a vacation headed south to hopefully rack up some km's walking and riding my bike in the mountains of southern B.C. and Alberta. Looking forward to a long over due break with my girls. I have a training plan for August and of course the last few months to try and finish strong that I will share when I return. See you in a week.
Brian Chervenka

Where I'm at and how I got here

When I first started this challenge it was in a land that had many different roads that I wasn't used to or with some requirements, wanted anything to do with. For example blogging, I have never blogged a thing in my life let alone work with a computer much. Recording a handwritten daily log of each step of accomplishment. Being nice to everybody, repairing a wounded relationship, setting personal goals that we all have but keep them on the back burner. Keeping it there until we believe the timing is right. But really we are just procrastinating or blatantly being chicken #$%&. All the more reason to jump into it with guns a blazing. I remember going over the requirements and thinking this is going to do wonders for all aspects of personal improvemnt in not only our training, but bettering ourselves as people. This is probably a very good thing because for the most part we all try to be decent, but there is a major #%&hole in all of us at some point that rears its irrational or selfish head. This made it very exciting and a stiff challenge, something we all seem to love as martial artists. It was also at the time when the black belt promotions were happening, there was a fire of inspiration that was blazing within. I still to this day hold each and everyone of those black belts in very high admiration and respect. It was the most influential group that I have witnessed and I hope to fulfill the standard that not only they set as candidates but to the school and our lineage. What better tool could you be given than this challenge to prepare and train to be a black belt. I went into it wide open, trying to do a count of every requirement daily. For a while this worked pretty good.
Then life and obligations and commitments kicked in. Soon keeping up with the challenge wasn't so manageable anymore. the guilt and the feeling of being uncommited set in. More and more requests for help came on kwoon talk and our monthly meetings came up and I couldn't make it. I never back down from a challenge or not do what I say I'm going to do. So in order to stay true to the challenge I started staying up later to fill the numbers, log them and so on. Staying up later and later to complete numbers and complete tasks around the house and whatever else came up. Time with family and my responsibility to my wife and youngest daughter, time that should always come first but doesn't always work out. Then lets start dealing with the guilt and the personal critizisms that we all beat the crap out of ourselves over and over until we are way down. A few months of this and exhaustion set in big time. If I sat down and didn't have anything to occupy my mind or body I would fall asleep. Nodding off driving home from work, not cool. I often thought to myself there is no way I'm going to make it through alive if I don't change something quick. When it came time to train I was beat and really started to just do things mindlessly and sloppy just to get it done. I started to resent the challenge and kung fu in general. Thinking I have to go do this, now I feel I am being forced to do this and if I don't I'm pussing out and should just backout. Yes quitting did come to mind so I knew at this point I really had to get it together. Like the old saying "there is no such thing as can't" and I never quit. Then the nonconformist nature I have fires up and teams up with super stubborn. Now I am doing very little everyday and living with the guilt and thought of being a poser. After all I am training with silent river black belts, the top of the line. You can't buy this kind of exposure and experience. Let alone all the sihings and fellow students that I train with.
So I stood back and really thought about a way to make this work and how commited I was to the challenge. So I looked and seen how far I have come and what requirements I have completed and really it wasn't so bad, but ofcourse to ourselves its never good enough. One goal I worked really hard at was to be a sihing by june, I earned 6 stripes in 5 months, I didn't fulfill the goal but nonetheless I felt good about how far I did get. I have participated in everything I could and felt extremely proud to be in our demo. I ignored the segregation and the numbers and started doing what I could whenever I could. Basing my progress daily and not concentrating on all, assessing my strong points and focusing on the weaker. My push ups and sittups have fallen behind but I'm not concerned about those, with my new approach some days I'll do 50-70 other days 300 plus and I feel good about them. I am mindful of the techniques and am doing things properly not just doing the old half push up or sittup at mock nine. Same with kicks, forms, sparring on my heavy bag or whatever. I am concentrating on quality. When I go for walks or bike rides I am being mindful of my steps or miles enjoying nature, thinking about Kung Fu or just spending time with my girls. I am not concerned with the final numbers, they are a goal setting process. The way I am approaching this thought process is if I am going to do all of these requirements in such a massive quantity they better be done properly and they should mean something. Otherwise I just wasted a pile of time and all of this training was for nothing.
Overall when it comes to some of the requirements I won't see completion, with others I will. I push very hard some days and others not so much but still getting something done. My engagement and adaptability to life and my Kung Fu is fairly balanced at the moment and my mind set on the whole thing has improved greatly. Now its more like it should be, I can't wait to do more Kung Fu, I can't wait to go to class or hit as many classes as I can. The only thing left hangin really is my absence at meetings or other times when I can't be there for the team. But I am doing my best. Sorry for the long post but since I have missed so many meetings I thought it would be the right thing to share with alittle more depth from me and the five animals.
Brian Chervenka