The Challenge of Five

Spending the last while working on five personal techniques. I have a goal to at least complete a rough draft for all five by the end of June, and then tune them from there. A million ideas pour through my mind but piecing this together has been a challenge for sure. During all this time I barely have one. This is a big deal for me. This showcases what you know and you are. Your creativity. Just exactly where you are at with your Kung Fu. Pretty intimidating over all, and probably one of the most important requirements of your grading. I feel like man, I don't know anything and I don't have anything. At the moment. But the clock is ticking....fast. Perhaps I am thinking way too much about it. Maybe I take on too much of the approval of my Sifus, and it just has to be that good. Well it should be that good damn it. I've put a lot of time and effort in my Kung Fu to get this far. People have taken time out of they're lives to teach me these things. Took the time to give me advice on their own time. The creativity is there, the discipline and ethic to work hard is there. It's just my stubborn mindset and relentless internal criticism that continues to hamper my evolution. That and I'm just not one to throw a bunch of crap together with no thought or heart and call it awesome. You only grade once and it means a lot to me. I want to feel like I earned it. I want to feel good about what I did and not look back and say "Yah I threw a bunch of junk together and signed it off as mine, good enough."

 I guess the main thing is to remain positive and accept this as one of my greater challenges. Personally I like being under the gun. It motivates me when someone tells me I won't make it or it's almost too late. And yes it's been hinted or mentioned in a round about way. Some would see this as approval to quit, or accept someone else's opinion as right. Well if I actually lived my life that way, I doubt you would be reading this. Moving forward, once these are pieced together, this will be some of my best work.