You ever have one of those days where you feel like the right thing to do is pick up a truck and throw it through a house. If anyone or anything pisses you off, you either smash it or burn it to the ground from the fire that comes out of your mouth.
I'm having one of these days today and I want to share it.
I'm concerned right now with where I am at with my Kung Fu. I had the full intention of making more time for training and achieving something that means alot to me. I swore I would not take on big hour jobs and in the beginning of the year thats exactly how it was going. Then opportunitys came up and here I am, doing exactly what I didn't want to and as a result my training has suffered. I'm tired and angry because at the moment I feel like my training is too little, too late.
This job wasn't supposed to be the complete shit show it is. I was supposed to be here and gone in 6 weeks, not 2 damn months. I was supposed to be back at the kwoon attending every class I could, preparing for grading. Instead I'm up here trying to get a job done that was doomed from the get go. I mean don't get me wrong, there has been many challenges thrown my way and we have prevailed. But I feel like there is no way in hell I will be ready. Between that and out of touch, head up their ass bean counters asking why we are not done yet, after emails explaining the situation, with pictures of the multitude of challenges we face daily, they still have to mention we are over our field hours and when are you going to be done. Gee, Yah think we're over hours and I don't have a clue when we are going to be done because things are changing daily around here, some days by the hour! I hate the fact that bean counters run everything now a days. So out of touch with anything beyond the numbers no matter how much proof you put in front of their faces.
Things will get better I'm sure. I'll just have to forge ahead and keep working towards my goals and maybe get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, I just hope I didn't waste another year because I once again became tied up in my work.
I can relate to some of your frustration, as I've spent the better part of the last 7 years working out of town and now I'm in Ft Mac again. You might not be doing as much as training as you want, but, for what's it's worth, you're providing a path that I can follow. Your video blogs, number posts, and regular blog posts are all inspiring to me because I know what working out of town is like.
ReplyDeleteBtw, being a construction planner/scheduler, I got a kick out of your post. All the guys refer to me as a bean counter too. We're not all bad. :)
I work with iron workers and it's the same frustrations for them too. We can't even get guys to show up for work. Don't let it get to you. Do the best you can. Don't let the man drag you down. We're behind you Sihing and if you need anything we're there!
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustration but it is important to keep a certain perspective. If you are practicing, even if you are not putting in the hours you had hoped, the year is not wasted. Incremental progression serves mastery and mastery does not care about schedules. Progress matters, period.
ReplyDeleteEvery little bit counts, even if it's the tiniest bit, still counts. As long as you are still pointed in the direction you want to go, detours will happen. What's important is that you still keep going in the direction you want to go.
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