Heavy is the Head

This blog is going to be scattered a bit as I have to get everyone up to speed as to what is going on with me as I realize as far as most of you know or can see I have been doing nothing or very little in regards to my training so here it is in a nutshell.
I have been working a ton of hours, seven days a week and caring for someone that is very close to me that has become very ill and has faced many issues since Febuary. These two items have been where most of my energy has been placed. I'm not going to go on about how difficult it has been or how burnt out I am as this is just simply life and I don't like to use these things as an excuse for neglecting other important things in my life. Kung Fu is very important to me and as hard as it may all seem, I still apply it to all aspects of my life because it has grown to be a part of me. It isn't just a hobby that I do.

I have been struggling a bit with changing my all or nothing mentality when it comes to my training. If I can't train as much as I like because I run out of hours in a day or my attention is focused on something else, very little gets done and then I beat myself up over it. I have to remember that any bit of training or effort towards Kung Fu is something. If I can't get in the time to do as much as I want, I have to focus on something that will still be beneficial to progress. The incremental focus is something I have to work on.
This year is going to require alot of work and focus in regards to achieving the level black belt. The biggest thing is public engagement and obvious progression through skill improvement when I am at the kwoon.The Sifu's and the school need to see progress and effort. If there is no journaling or no prescence how would anybody know what your doing or what kind of example are you setting for those coming up that will be working towards their black belt. I have not shared or provided a very good example. This has to change or it makes the whole thing look like a big joke. I get that, and I will do something about it. I don't want to be that guy.
I will say this much, at this point in my life I have gone through a very difficult period the last while. It has been a challenge to stay focused and move forward. I have missed opportunities, gone above and beyond for others and kept a cool head through it all and maintained a, for the most part, positive attitude. There is light at the end of the tunnel and these challenges have made me stronger and wiser. My focus now is to restore the balance of the main aspects of my life and restore the faith of my Sifu's and the school, because as of late you have seen or heard nothing. See you at the kwoon.