Sunday 24 January 2016

Changing my Perspective, Part 2

Before I get into part 2 I need to clarify a few things. That rant and seemingly disrespectful view point is not directed towards anyone or the I Ho Chuan program. I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. No one called me mediocre and nobody left me behind, those are my words and thoughts directed at me. By becoming angry about it, and putting those questions in my mind, I thought it was going to inspire me to move forward... it didn't. In actuality what I was doing was trying to justify my own short comings by making excuses on how the I Ho Chuan is not working for me. When ultimately it was me that wasn't working the program. I left myself behind and chose to remain isolated. That is how I saw myself and that is where my mind was at the time. As I said in the beginning, it's nothing personal nor am I blaming anyone. This is all on me and I am accountable for it all.  I'm trying to share my experience and since I am not so good at transferring my thoughts to paper, I apologize if I lit anyone up.

Now the otherside of the coin. The real purpose and guaranteed success cycle of the I Ho Chuan if you apply it in a positive way. Why 50,000 push ups and sit ups. This is the most basic and fool proof way to begin your success cycle and instill daily discipline and begin the concept of effortless effort. It becomes as common as brushing your teeth. Soon this evolves into a program of so much more. You begin to experiment with different ways to achieve them and develop a well rounded training discipline. If you are feeling an injury this will teach you how to adapt your training and still come out on top.

Why a 1000 form reps. This is a lesson on continuous evolution and places you on the path to mastery in your form work, be it a hand or weapon. If your getting to the point of boredom then you need to find a black belt to assess your form that hasn't seen it before. Everyone has a different eye for detail and I know through experience, this will definitely give you some homework and inspire you to move forward.

Why put yourself out there publically on the website and share your journey? One example would be if Bruce Lee never publicized his training and what he did to overcome a serious injury, would we even know who he was? Would we have any examples or inspirational figures to learn from? If I actually applied myself to journaling this past year, would I have remained in isolation? Would I have struggled as much as I did?  What do you have to look back on if there is no record of your successes and failures. How are you going to help others not make the same mistakes if you don't put the experience out there? I'll get over myself on this one.

Why a 1000 rounds of sparring and why a 1000 miles under your own power? Why a 1000 AOK? All of these different challenges are tools to keep all aspects of your training rounded. It is a universal training package, both mentally and physically. Everyone has short comings and everyone lacks confidence or skill in anyone of these areas. Applied correctly and as a team you cannot fail. But no matter what you think, you can't be fully successful by trying to accomplish this yourself. I'm not saying you can't train on your own, you pretty much have to, but you also have to be at the kwoon.

Now to answer all the questions I threw out in anger a few months back. The I Ho Chuan is definitely going to help with my retirement because it promotes good health and increases my life longevity, I am slowly becoming more aware of what I eat and it continues to keep my body in good shape and my mind sharp. The confidence I build and the positive energy I gain along with the acceleration of my adaptability skills and maintaining a calm mind with solid focus will definitely help build my career, Not to mention my job can be extremely physical, so this will keep me productive and versatile. By being a positive influence both physically and mentally and leading by example through ethics and morals I learn through my Kung Fu and it's requirements, I will continue to be a good husband and father which will definitely take care of my family. If my past comes at me I will sever it just as easily as I have done before.

At a very difficult time in my life, what I chose to blame was still there all the time. The thoughts of dropping to do push ups, throw some kicks, read the curriculum, grab my weapon, as much as I felt there was so much more important things to deal with, the I Ho Chuan and it's lessons and my commitment to others never left my mind and never stopped me from doing these things, no matter what I thought. That's the effects of the I Ho Chuan, once there, never leaves. In fact if that wasn't there I'm not sure I would have come out of it the way I did. Choosing to isolate myself from the kwoon wasn't easy. Neither is walking in there now. I know no one is judging me, but I am judging me and that's not going to change anytime soon. I didn't know how to ask for help. I'm not good at that at all. But I'm hoping this year will be different, by journaling as much as I can, and being at the kwoon as much as possible, I hope to turn this all around, so when I say watch and learn, that's what you will see. If I continue on a hectic work schedule then it's my responsibility to communicate that to the team and share my training routines, no ones going to learn nothing if I don't share that.




Changing My Perspective, Part 1

This blog is a straight forward and completely honest view and perspective that I have held and my struggles. My intention is to not be disrespectful or hamper any ones goals or intentions for success. I have witnessed huge successes and I am humbled by many martial artists on this team. So please don't take any of this personally because it's not about you or me. It's about question and repair. It's about seeking knowledge to share and to overcome a valley. It is simply a written experience of where I was at last year and some of the things I struggle with in the I Ho Chuan and hopefully after putting it all out there, I can succeed and move on to the next level of my training with the help of others. Because as it sits and where I am going, it could be a thing of the past and I really don't want that. I am in the process of moving forward to a highly succesful year in all aspects of my life, but mostly a restoration in my passion as a SRKF student. I want to complete this year on the right path and roll into the next one as more of a leader and be the example of how you can get through a I Ho Chuan program no matter what your lifestyle. A meeting would be the most ideal place to address these points, but as it sits, my work schedule has prevented that. The only way I am going to move forward and become a great Black Belt, is to remove the resentments, calm the ignorance, remove the blame, and evolve my somewhat defiance and stubborness, into strength and understanding. To see the balance that was once the core of all my strength. To ask for help, and that in itself is very difficult for me. This blog will be in two parts as it will make more sense and it would probaly end up to be about two feet long. So I will begin with some struggles and lack of understanding.

Well here it goes. I have a total of, I would boldly say about a 95% absence from the I Ho Chuan this year and its meetings. I have made very little contributing factors towards the team and my training this year as it would seem. If it was up to me as the administrator for the team, I would vote me off the island. In all honesty, I wasn't even going to sign up for the I Ho Chuan this past year. With my continuous unpredictable work schedule and my resentful views of the whole thing, I had no interest in running myself into the ground and becoming more and more distant from something not long ago I was very passionate about. As I strived for success, I was under a continuous realm of higher failure rates than success and struggling to find the time to balance work, family, Kung Fu, and my own personal reset time. I tried numerous times to explain the situation but it seemed very few could comprehend this type of lifestyle. That is until a few people on the team suddenly started working everyday and suddenly had no time either and ran themselves into the dirt or much like myself, stopped showing up or contributing.

I was told the program is designed for people in these situations, I was led to believe that not following through on the program and not succeeding is just being mediocre. In an angry mindset, I thought, "Wow!, I'm mediocre!, I've made it this far without the program and seem to fare out just fine." How about let's trade for a month. I guarantee this, very few could carry water for me when it comes to work ethic or how I lead myself and all that is a part of me through a number of things. Running on exhaustion and difficult paths and still moving forward is something I continue to do. I knew how to do that just fine without the I Ho Chuan. Who are you to dictate to me how I should run my life and drop everything I am doing to spend 6 days a week at the kwoon. Who are you to tell me to quit my job or give up overtime in order to facilitate the I Ho Chuans agenda? Who are you to tell me to give up time with my family or miss events as it should be viewed as investment, not sacrifice. Is the I Ho Chuan program going to set me up for retirement? Is the I Ho Chuan going to promote and advance my career? Is the I Ho Chuan going to pay my bills? Is the I Ho Chuan going to be there for my wife or children? Since there is very little I outsource, is the I Ho Chuan going to do all my work at home or other items I have to maintain or repair and spend upwards of 10 to 12 hours a day, 7 days a week at work and pull all of this off?

Nobody gets left behind I was told. Nobody is forgotten, and if someone is struggling, we have to reach back and pull them up. People have been left behind and not held accountable for their lack of engagement, like myself and others with similiar lifestyles or personal struggles. Two graduations when it came time for pictures to be taken at the end, nobody seemed to recall I wasn't there. It's not the picture, I could care less about that. It's the principal of the I Ho Chuan that is not reflected here. Nobody get's left behind and we will watch out for all team members.....that didn't happen and that's the point.

 How is doing the same exercise 50,000 times going to better me when all it's really doing is promoting injury? How are you going to have any kind of longevity as a martial artist when you are wearing out your joints prematurely and increasing your chances of injury tenfold. How is doing the same form over and over again to the point of boredom going to increase my engagement? Why is it that honesty or logging a view or a struggle is immediately placed in the positive/negative debate. How can you possibly come to a conclusion or push through an obstacle publically when you are told how to write? Why do I have to put myself out on social media when I don't want too. There are things and people of my past that I left in the past for a reason. I have severed them for good reason and putting myself out there defeats that purpose. Before Google plus decided to change their website, I had over 100,000 views. That concerned me a bit for the very reasons I have stated. That, and I honestly don't know what the heck was so interesting. How is being allowed to disappear and not being held accountable going to help anyone or the team?

These are some views I have with the program. This is troubling side of things for me. The part I can't seem to comprehend or justify. My struggles.

Part 2 will be about how this very same program I seem to dislike, was the most powerful tool I had that got me through a very dark and troubling year.