The Mental Approach

This last little while has had it's moments of testing true grit if you will, not only from a physical stand point but a mental as well. I firmly believe if you let the brain run you and not you run your brain the simplest things can become long division using the alphabet instead of numbers. The mind is the king of instilling doubt and fear. If you don't declutter the mind and always approach things with the what if syndrome, then you just let it destroy your advancement and impair your focus. Don't get me wrong I'm no expert at this but I can say this much, the skies the limit unless you fear yourself and what you can do. I believe in myself and what I can do because I have made goals and saw them through regardless of the circumstances.

 My year from the beginning to present has been under my control when it comes to approaching Kung Fu. I was recently going over what's left to sort out or polish and once I ran through the list, here came the mind messing with stuff from several angles. This isn't good enough, that's not good enough, are you sure you know this to Black Belt standards, are you sure you approached this year with the proper discipline and approach? Do you honestly believe you can pass the physical requirement to the standard that is expected of you? Are you going to just waste everyones' time once again? What if this and what if that? You know what mind? How about you take a flying leap into a tree shredder! Beat it!

Yes, I have had some drawbacks lately. Starting from the top, my hips are slowly loosening up but much slower than expected. Oh well, move forward and stay on the path. I felt off a few weeks ago and had a pretty good idea of what was happening, my prescription was once again having no effect. Now this really sucks because energy levels fall and me not accepting it and pushing through is not good for me or my longevity. Okay, blood test and now the dosage is doubled to .125 mg. Holy #@$% right! Hopefully this keeps my internal balance levelled out because when this stuff goes south, it not only effects me physically, but messes with my wiring as well. I really can't afford this right now but as far as I can tell, I should be okay. My knee is feeling much better as is my back so this is great. Lastly I caught one heck of a cold/flu type thing that really knocked the crap right of me and I'm just coming around now. I thought maybe I could sweat it out and kill it off with a fitness class and black belt test. Umm no, there were times when I asked myself, " Who's messing with the lights and why do I need to grab onto something?" I didn't make it through the test but I did do most of it. This was a moment where I let the mind fool me and give me bad advice. I should've stayed home and rested, but instead I listened to my stubborn side and pushed myself too much. Now this was not only really dumb, but really irresponsible on my behalf. It just became worse and I lost almost a week of valuable training time. I brought a sickness into the kwoon and was coughing and hacking relentlessly, working in close proximity of others that really can't afford any down time either or don't need to be sick as a result of my drive to push through type selfishness. So to those at the Kwoon on Saturday, I appologize and thanks for not hanging a beating on me.

Alright so this journal entry is super long and maybe a little bit stupid and perhaps has put a few of you to sleep. So I'll close it off with I guess the whole point and what it all means. I never let my mind distract me and when it got cute, I decluttered and prioritized. I stayed true to my path and my destination regardless of the drawbacks, I didn't fall into all or nothing mode and I've kept the three C's intact through it all. Now that in itself is an awesome accomplishment for me because a questionable approach and doubt has been mostly defeated and my passion for Kung Fu is once again mine. I have paced back and forth at the foot of this mountain far too long and embraced distraction as acceptable reasoning as to why I have not advanced. I cannot wait to achieve the rank of Black Belt and advance my skill and training and if I stay in the drivers seat of my mind, the possibilities are endless. See you at the Kwoon.