Well where to start? Let's start with my return from holidays and back into the kwoon. It was a little nerve wracking at first since I new I had to jump back into the program as if I never left. I'm really glad that Sifu put out the video for the thriller dance footwork. I practiced it numerous times because I wanted to be ready. First night back and I was told it looked good. Alright cool. First reaction though to see the pink lion brought on three stages of mental prep. Stage 1, gather up and stock come back ammunition for team teasing. No problem there. Stage 2, get over the fact your in a pink lion. Stage 3, look past the colour and look at the meaning. That pink lion represents a battle that one of our very own Sifu's had endured and won. That lion represents courage, will and determination, strength and not something to be messed with. That lion represents pain and losses to families; mothers, daughters, friends etc. A cancer that can eliminate a part of the female anatomy, remove the opportunity to feed children as nature intended, a part of life creation and advancement. That lion represents hope and powerful symbolism and I'm damn proud to be in it.
Next issue was my inability to take my weapons on holidays, they get all uptight about that stuff at airports and in the general public. So having to improvise by utilizing a rake handle I broke in two, I went to work on the form. Things seemed like they were coming together quite well, finally reaching a certain flow and piecing together a form that actually made some sense. Then I came back home, grabbed the axes and went through the form. This awesome form ended up turning into a big pile of s#$t fresh out of the dogs butt. Oh great, can't wait to show this to the team and my Sifus. Not a good place to be in the mind and my habit of beating the crap right out myself didn't help either. The thing is my weapons kind of took a back seat to my preparation to grading. Dumb for sure, but that's what I did. Whatever, face the music and do something about it. This particular weapon has been the hardest form yet I have ever created. The stances I worked with on holidays did not work well with the transitions and techniques I developed with the actual weapon. If my hands are even an inch or two off during the techniques or the vectors are not timed properly with centering and a grounded stance, I am no longer in the drivers seat, the weapon is and that is not a proper application or even a form. Stops and starts burn energy, are hard on the joints, and make the form ineffective. Once you get a heavier weapon going you don't want it to stop, you want it to keep moving with smooth transitions and you must remain in control while still having an actual technique. I've had to put in a lot of hours the last while to get this form where I want it to be but I think I'm there now. It might still suck but at this point, it's what I have. The first demo run at the last I Ho Chuan class was awesome, it was like I didn't even have the twin axes in my hands and this told me I hit the mark. Second one, not so good, but I have enough time to easily hit the 100 rep mark and version 8.7 will be ready for Chinese New Year.
I'm fighting an injury at the moment that can be at times very painful, I have irritated some tendons in my right arm. It started with a pain that travelled across the top of my fore arm and moved to the side of my elbow and area. So I got it checked out and thankfully there is no tendon damage, but they are mad at me. So I have some exercises to do and I need to select a brace to use when training for the next while. I also managed to get into to see my practitioner of reflexology and ancient chinese medicine. She worked on it for sometime and I got another opportunity to use the mind over pain for the purpose of healing challenge. Trying to keep your arm completely relaxed from shoulder to finger tip while someone has their thumb buried deep into the muscle right to the bone and riding along it to the source was a great challenge.... but I did it and although really sore that evening, the next day, nothing except a small amount of pain right at the tip of my elbow. It comes back here and there but I'm taking care of it until after chinese New Year. I have another appointment soon and the tools I need to make it through.
A couple of my techniques need some work as during demo practice they basically suck ass. I need a good hour or two with my training partner and they will be right where they need to be and beyond. We haven't worked together nearly enough the last while but I knew this would happen and I know what needs to be done, and so it will. On the one I need to change the footwork just ever so slightly and it will evolve to even better efficiency and effectiveness. The other one needs another small tweek which will be a little experimental, but I'm sure by next demo practice, they will be pristine and where they were when I presented them at grading.
Moving forward and maintaining narrowed focus has been a real challenge lately. Too many things going on perhaps that need to be prioritized and set straight. Other things need to be set aside and others let go and tossed to the curb. My focus for so long now has been direct and precise as required to complete a task or be in the moment. Spells of anxiety and blurry moments have crept into my direction, where the hell did this come from? This isn't the time for this. I really have to take a moment and calm the mind, build the focus and remember where I am and what I set out to do this year. It's not really that hard to get caught up in a bunch of things if there is no advancement to an issue or a complete failure to comphrehend the fix. Sometimes its hard to let your mistakes go and learn from them, but that's what I need to do. I took the time this weekend to do just that. Think things through and sort them out, remove the clutter and redefine the direction. I think I have succeeded by applying the tools I have developed this year. I guess we'll see.
Finally, without going into any detail, last Sihing class was by far one of my most proudest moments I have experienced in some time. I felt so grateful and accomplished, I couldn't sleep and was running on about 4 hrs sleep at work the next day but my energy level and mental well being was as if I woke up from a 12 hour rest. It was a moment I will never forget and all those that were a part of it. Thank you.
So here we are just days away from Chinese New Year and this team is just amazing. I feel so proud to be on it with some truly amazing people, you guys are awesome. The energy level as Sifu Brinker described is something I am truly embracing. I'm very excited for the lion dance and grateful to be a part of Sifu's vision. See you at the Kwoon.
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