Intent

This word has come up quite often during classes and discussions with our Sifus'. To me consistent and repetitive mention of words or actions from our instructors usually signifies a hint to something we either need to apply or work towards an understanding of it's importance in our Kung Fu training and growth. Intention is something I've always recognized as a part of the 6 harmonies when it came to training at first, but as things started to advance I now see that intention is everything in the moment no matter where I am or what I am doing  It's not about something I see myself doing when the time is right, or thinking of it's application as selective. It's about that very moment, what I intend to do with the execution of that action and see it through. I've also held a misconception of intention through reaction by including intuition and instinct as similarities, but in actuality they are all entirely different. One is emotional, one is a guess, and one is entirely pure.

A while back I was working on figuring out a way to apply the mechanics of Kung Fu to all that I do whether it be movements at work or when I am practicing the art. My work was messing up my centering and causing tension in my movements that was affecting my flow. I was shooting for efficiency and overthinking the whole process by trying to combine the two and it just seemed to make things worse. I knew deep down that it's literally impossible to combine it all, but I thought I would try anyway.

Then during a Black Belt class Sifu was talking about intention and light bulbs lit up all over the place. What is your intention when your doing your forms or techniques? It then dawned on me that is just that simple. This is the efficiency and focus I was looking for. Whether it be Kung Fu or work, the intention is to perform the act with focus and quality and to see it through to completion, there is a direct purpose, like you mean it. The movements and grounding, the energy, the body and mind know what to do and how to adapt through this type of focused repetition and it then becomes pure intention.

So I have been approaching everything as of late with this mindset. I not just going through the motions mindlessly or doing things for the sake of doing things. I am able to differentiate my alignments and actions to what it is I am doing. When I am swinging my axe or doing my forms there is the intention of defeating my opponent or defending myself with purpose and the rotation and definition is of quality and effective. I want to insure my stances and strikes are solid and grounded. Although it has taken some adjustment and practice transitioning into some forms, I absolutely love the new bow because the intention and purpose is already built in. From the time you compress, align the quadrants, and settle into your center you know right away if the form is going to suck right away or not and I feel like I could smash through a wall.

I have had another successful dangling board break with a left ridge hand technique. This break was a second to four parts of a long term goal I have. My intention and purpose of this goal is to better understand the mechanics and application of Kung Fu, to unlock it's power both physically and mentally. Although I am still working on the original configuration, last weekend Sifu Brinker suggested a different stance. It was change up on the fly and I was a little uncertain but prior to breaking I focused on what I intended to do, the stance, to the rotation, to the grounding and focusing on the power from the center out, I busted through first try and it felt awesome and let me know I was on track. The thing is though it probably wouldn't have went so well if it wasn't for me following through on what I intended to do. So that's where things are at right now in this area of my Kung Fu. Sorry for the absence Rats, more to come soon and catch everybody up on things. 

All or Nothing

In one way or another we all have some sort of mental defect or challenge. Nobody is exempt from it wether we want to admit it or not. I think the toughest part is actually identifying it to some degree and then admitting it to ourselves and having the courage to work with it. That's not always easy though because a lot of times we are in denial about the situation or believe we have a handle on it or we don't even recognize it until it catches up to us. Sometimes we don't want to see it or even consider it a problem because of the stigma that comes with even the mention of a mental issue or challenge. We believe that if we are carrying on in our daily lives in a productive manner, there is nothing obvious or common symptoms and we have the ability take care of our family along the way, then it's all good...right. No actually, not so much.

I know for me my issue is being a full blown workaholic and what this brings is a all or nothing mentality. From when I was young growing up on the farm, to my years  in the oil patch, to the construction industry you, worked until the job was done. No matter how much time it took or how many days consecutive. The focus was the work always and even during this time quality was drilled into my head. If you screwed it up, you fix it and make it right. You focus and commit to what you set out to do. You didn't screw the pooch either and you best use your brain along the way as well and good enough is never part of the equation. Now this is all fine and these experiences have built me a very stable career and I apply these characteristics to all that I do. But what happens when it becomes the only mindset in everything you do.

As much as I thought I was a good multitasker and achieving balance was no issue, I really suck at it. I can multitask and balance things, streamline them and discover all kinds of insight. I am highly productive, committed and focused and not scared to work at something until I complete it but only when it involves whatever I am currently involved in. I didn't even really realize it until these past few weeks when my training structure flew apart and I'm scrambling to pick up the gears of excellence that are flung all over the place. I stopped and said to myself, what the hell just happened.

Back when the pandemic shut down began I had the time to soley restore and work on my Kung Fu. Everyday I would train and at times I would spend hours on certain aspects to get it right. I was having fun and making great progress in my training and my list of priorities where on track. I thought finally I am going to have this balance in training and all aspects of my life because that's what I set out to do this year. This is going to be freaking awesome.

The thing is I didn't realize it at the time but I was already in all or nothing mode. I thought I had it dialed in strong enough to where when work started I would be able to bring this with me and I felt I was walking into the balance I set out to find for this year. Then work started, summer came, commitments to my family came and of course lifes surprises. Slowly as I continued at completing what I set out to do and hold that balance but it was starting to slip.

 Then all or nothing started up again and I found myself rather than finishing up whatever was left the next day or chipping away at it a little at a time, dropping what I was doing to make the time for my training I would go at it or do whatever until it was done. My levels of priorities became distorted and pretty soon I was up late at night and looking at the time, okay I have a few minutes to do some puch ups and sit ups, maybe form rep or two, the rest I'll catch in the morning before I leave. Pretty soon the late nights were catching up and I would work hard all day and work hard at whatever I felt was more important. Then my morning reps became less and then eventually none. Now I have to catch up on it all after work and I would go until it was done. Pretty soon I was burnt out and my daily training became less and less and I was working when I originally thought I wasn't going to be. I have incomplete blogs in my draft and I haven't been able to touch my weapon for weeks.

This is where the all or nothing workaholic in me loses perspective on the important things and things become distorted. This is where I start to shed what I believe is not priority and I begin to beat myself up because I am failing or can't complete what I set out to do. Everything else is more important and this is a luxury I can no longer make time for. This is where I put everyone elses needs ahead of mine because I think if I don't meet these other commitments I am being selfish. Normally about this time in the past I would start to lose site of what is really important and make up the excuse that I just don't have the time to do this and just disappear. This action is not healthy and all it does is make me regret things more and make me angry and that is  never good.

Well I'm not going to repeat this again and I have the means to make it right before I lose site of my goals. I have to pull the reigns in and take back control of what's mine and use the tools and advice I have been given. My training may not have been as productive as I would like, but it never stopped this time and the quest for quality is always there. I have my book with me at all times as a reminder and a tool to keep the balance front and center. It's okay to say no sometimes. I have contacted someone I have trained with in the past and we will keep each other engaged, a success coach to be exact, because this can't be done successfully on my own. I can forgive myself when I mess stuff up. It's okay to stop and make the time for what's important and hold my comittments.I have teachers to reach out to anytime when I need help. I will get a handle on my all or nothing mentality and find that balance. I will go to the Kwoon whenever possible and meet with my team instead of getting soley involved in one thing until it's done...it will still be there when I get back.

So this is my struggle and I will see it through to a better me, a healthier me and a whole different lifestyle because as it sits all or nothing doesn't work and that's the chink in my armour. It sure feels good to say that and a plan to move forward to make Kung Fu my balance no matter what I am doing may just be in sight after all. I guess we will see what it all brings. See you at the Kwoon.

Martial Artist to D9 Cat

I have had a lot of struggles the last while in working towards balancing my occupational physical movements with my Kung Fu movements. As much as I have tried to integrate it and come to some sort of realistic balance between the two, needless to say they don't seem to want to get along. Which is all the more reason why practicing my forms and expanding my Kung Fu has to remain imperative on a daily basis. I also have to avoid becoming frustrated and loose the end result along the way or jeopardize the quality as well. Patience and discipline are key I think.

To give you an idea of my situation most things I work with are heavy and there is a consistent demand of strength. A task that requires a strength demand to lift, hold or stabilize while in motion, access to the point, and periodic static positioning all while under load. Basically picking something heavy up, carrying it, and holding it in place. Then whatever tools are necessary to complete the work I have to hang on to them and possibly use more strength to work them. If I'm working at heights I have to hang on to something while I work the tools so more physical demand is required. Also when all of these activities take place I load the body up slowly to avoid injury. Think of revving an engine to full RPM and dropping the clutch, your bound to grenade something.

Now the Kung Fu aspect of strength in motion and movement. Typically the goal is very little strength is required until you need it. Nothing is preloaded to execute the technique with the exception of holding a weapon perhaps until you complete definition of execution. But even then when you move the weapon and your body the idea is to remain light and transitional movements are performed with a full body balance, like the first part of the six harmonies and the center is the source of it all. Moving from stance to stance your feet or rotation is performed from sliding on the heels and ball of the foot and you are compressed or settled the whole time.

Now at work if I tried to apply these aspects of Kung Fu, I would be dropping tools and materials all over the place or they would be flying out of my hands. I would probably blow out my back or knees and consistently trip and fall down carrying something. While operating an industrial impact gun I would turn my arm into something that resembles a twizzler. When I apply my work movements to Kung Fu it's like my axe suddenly weighs 100lbs and I'm trying to drive it through a bank vault. When I move I am so tense that my flow and speed go completely out the window and there is a smart car on my back. When I punch or kick it's like I am demolishing a house with my hands and feet.  My Kung Fu goes from the center out to all upper body or I dispatch so much energy to my legs that I begin rising and falling during transitions. So I really have to calm the mind and pay more attention to the details which I am trying to avoid so my Kung Fu becomes involuntary instinct rather than mindful dispatch....the list goes on but I know I can make it happen.

It's not all messed up though and I am working towards a solution. Like I had mentioned in a previous post about programmed muscle memory I know where the problem lies and what the causes are, I just have to put in the time and keep telling my body to work from the center out and to some degree I'm slowly developing this and it is helping. The biggest struggle I have right now is putting in the time. I have so many distractions right now and another big issue is my working mindset contradicts my Kung Fu mindset everyday. My biggest issue is the separation from all or nothing to achieving a healthy and sustainable balance. That's another post though.

Journaling

It has been mentioned several times over the years during I Ho Chuan classes and meetings I have attended that one of the most critical tools for success on the quest for mastery is our journaling. It is the absolute minimum requirement, a perfect tool to asssit with accountability and engagement. A lot of problems or issues an individual may face during the course of their journey or troubleshooting things can be exposed or repaired through consistant journaling. A measure for success, personal discovery and insight through our Kung Fu. Our fails and how we dealt with it and how we grew from the experience. A tool to help ourselves and others along the way. It provides the abilility to let everyone know where we are at or where we are not. Nobody on a crew should be left alone or forgotten, we all struggle from time to time and need a helping hand or a swift kick.

We have all heard from experience that if your not journaling, your not training or engaged. I didn't really buy into it at the time or honestly give it a chance because I didn't see the value or apply the tool as it was meant to be used. I tried to justify this misconception, or I'll be even more honest my stubborness. I would use every reason or excuse I could find. I would say that I am a private person, (which to a strong degree I am, but that is irrelevant to the prurpose.) I would say to myself I have nothing to journal about, I don't have time, etc, etc. I thought that in order to have a successful year you just train and stay on the path. Little did I realize at the time that our journals are the path, they are one of the primary tools for success. You could say the perfect sound board to some degree.

Up until this year I never fully embraced the mindset or appreciated the tool, and it showed. Sometimes it takes me a while to get it or maybe even go as far to say acceptance to something that is designed to help, but requires change or the need to come out of the comfort zone. I think I get it now....it just took a few years! When it comes to journaling I can only speak for myself here but this year a lot of light bulbs lit up as ventured down the path and made some discoveries and insights to my Kung Fu. In fact a recent challenge gave me some very sound proof to the value of journaling because I applied the tool as it was meant to be and it was working great. Then I started to slip a bit and not journal and as a result so did my discipline and focus.

The last few weeks have been tough, weird hours, lot's going on at home, working hard all day in the heat, really, really....really crappy drivers on the road, and not much left at the end of the day. Because of my weird hours and other areas of my life currently I haven't made it to the Kwoon yet since it re opened. I'm not getting in the amount of training I want and that time for me to escape the day and do my Kung Fu is becoming less. I started to get down on myself about it and angry about things. But then I thought about it, hold the phone man, what's missing? These last few weeks are no different than the previous two. I might only be getting in a little bit of training but I'm training consistantly and the quality holds....then it occured to me, my journaling.

I have missed sealing off the last two weeks with a journal and I finally realize the value. My tool for engagement and assurance that I am moving forward is missing. That journal that marks my progress and helps me keep the discipline alive and the goal in my sights is not part of where I am at. My teachers or team mates have no idea where I am at, so now I am doing this alone. That record that assures me I am committed to see this through and Kung Fu is here with me solid. It's that hand that reaches out and says things are cool, forgive yourself and smarten up. It might not be so exciting for others, but for me this was a really cool moment of clarity because I know this year I am doing things right and still managing to grab that gear when the clutch slips. Where I am at and what I am doing is a whole lot of alright. I just need to keep using my tools and believe in something I am not used to putting faith in. My journals will keep me committed to my Kung Fu, the I Ho Chuan crew, and of course my Sifu's. See you at the Kwoon. 

Consistency of Action

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and keeping up my training has been a challenge. In fact there are times where it's a tough go. With a 6am start at work my day begins at 4 am, 30 mins of meditation, pound out some push ups and sit ups and maybe a form rep or two and out the door I go. When I get home I do my best to make the most of my time after work, tend to whatever needs tending, and complete the last of my training before I have to hit the bricks earlier than usual. My work is physical and we go wide open so it's like I get paid to work out and it keeps me in shape. But I won't deny there are days that I am beat like a rented mule and really don't want to do much of anything. I say to myself that I can catch up tomorrow, then the precedence of excuse has been set and now it's okay to put it off and lower the priority. The excuse becomes easier to use and I don't want that to happen. It needs to remain a priority but also stay fun and remain that escape I look forward too. Life happens though and there are days that training will be missed or less productive. That's a lot different than just saying I don't feel like it. As it has been mentioned before, "If you don't feel like training, train anyway!" I really like that saying and it does inspire me even though there are times I want to say how about pound it, but I make it happen anyway.

The main driving force though is I don't want to lose the momentum and progress I have made lately and I want to see through my goal of consistent discipline. I have been working very hard on the changing of priorities because I know me and I know that the discipline is fragile when it comes to me working. So I have been working hard to strengthen that and not beat myself up if things go South. Keep on it and have fun doing it.

The good part is right now I'm just a guy that shows up, performs the work in a productive, efficient manner and goes home. I'm not managing the project and all that comes with it. Frankly it's awesome to just shut the switch off for the day and not be concerned with much else. That could change at any time if I get the call. So this is exactly why I need to keep things rolling along together and why it's so important for me to remain engaged in the approach I have been taking. 

All this time off to soley focus on Kung Fu and the betterment of my approach has done me wonders for clarity and a deep look inside, a step back. The discoveries and progress myself and others have made thus far keeps me engaged. I feel better physically and mentally and take a much better balanced perspective towards things.

Although, like everybody else, I have been training virtually this past while, I feel a deep restoration with my teachers, students, and the school. The one on ones have been critical for those times when you need the help and I am very grateful for that.

I don't really say much but the members on the team have really added to the purpose and have helped me a lot as well. I've met some new faces and watched some really amazing people do some really amazing things which helps keep me inspired as well. The attitudes, personalities, and compassion are the best and the unique individualism of every ones Kung Fu is amazing. This I Ho Chuan team has been one of the strongest and skilled I have seen or had the privilege to train with in some time. There is no need to struggle or falter on engagement or lapse on commitment, it's automatic at this point because of the people in this class. Thanks to you all. I just hope I can keep it this way when things get really busy for me when other things come in to play. See you at the Kwoon!

Programmed Muscle Memory

Muscle memory to me is just as powerful as thought memory and this is determined by action that simply becomes involuntary, like blinking your eyes or breathing. You don't have to think about it, it just happens. The same could be said for repetitive actions when performing day to day activities. Once the task begins your body reacts and moves on it's own and away we go due to continuous repetitive movements. Programmed muscle memory is great because we can include thought, or not, while going about our business and this provides the ability to change on the fly, or options needed. It can however, be detrimental to martial arts progress and requires a lot of repetitions to correct....like a lot. They seem to have very strong memories and when programmed for years become very stubborn to change. You change things up but they always seem to go back to the original train of action. This is where the hard work through repetitions comes in.

I noticed this past week while practicing my forms and heavy bag work, and especially my axe, that I am using more upper body again and I'm becoming tense while transitioning. I know exactly why, programmed muscle memory. As said before I am working on a bridge and it is bull work and for 20 years as an Ironworker the upper body and the legs are used steady, but there is no connection between the two such as the center we utilize in Kung Fu. So the go to for years has been the upper body and that has always reflected in my Kung Fu when I started to train in the art.

My muscle memory has reverted back to what it knows and how to adapt to the change of familiar repetitive action. I have been training quite a bit the last while basing everything from the center out, but a few weeks of bull work has knocked me back a few steps.

The good part to all of this though is because of all the training and repetitions I have managed to get in and the growth of awareness in relation to my Kung Fu lately, I have already started to reprogram and the base is created. If I can start to train myself to base everything from the center out, not just in my Kung Fu, but in my work as well; then my Kung Fu will be with me at all times and the reprogramming of muscle memory will succeed. If I can move and react this way and practice this repetition through this thought and action it will become natural. I really my theory works because at the moment my body doesn't know what to do or think!

The last few days of the week I did my best to start all actions from the center out. For example when I'm working off girders or angel wings swinging a sledge while driving drift pins, using my wrenches and sleever bar or on the grounding picking up steel and throwing it around, packing timbers or whatever else comes into the picture. It's kind of neat actually once I started to introduce it all together. It may be a long shot but I guess we'll see what this upcoming week brings.

One last thing to mention also was the amazing Kung Fu I witnessed yesterday while watching the Tiger Challenge. All of the students that have adapted their Kung Fu to the limited space and modifying their forms so they could compete in tight quarters was beyond impressive. Some have been learning most of it on line and that in itself is incredible, good on you all. I'd have to say no one skipped a beat and the individual signatures, dedication and hard work was pretty damn cool as well. But none of this would happen if it weren't for our Sifu's that are so commited to the school, the success of it's students, and the art. They found a way to make it happen, rolled the dice and took the risk to hold a virtual tournament. As far as I know nobody tried this, awesomeness indeed. Thanks to you all for your time and efforts, they are beyond appreciated. See you on the screen. 

Trial Run

Two and a half months into the pandemic shutdown and things have taken a turn in my training. I have a job just waiting for me to go too but until hiring freezes are lifted and other items are brought to a head nothing is happening. These items are completely out of my control so it has been the great waiting game. However, I have my Ironworking skillset to fall back on in times like these but that too has been rather quiet. So this has given me ample time to train and put forward a design that will help my engagement and catch me up on all things Kung Fu. For me anyway this has been great and I'm glad the opportunity came my way. It has provided me with the time to focus on my training and achieve some break throughs along the way. I have had plenty of time to build a discipline and a fairly solid routine....just great.


 That is until earlier this month I pulled a slip through the Ironworkers hall to work on a bridge that started this past Monday. So I'm back to work for a stretch and it is great. Bridges are heavy bull work and I'm grateful that I had all this time to train and maintain my conditioning. But as much as I thought Kung Fu covers all the major muscle groups, I found out that is not necessarily the case. Between ramping up on my training and starting this job, I came home fairly stiff the later part of the week when things became busy.

The good part is I am maintaining my goal of discipline towards my training no matter what and keeping the quality front and center as well. Making that time in the morning to get something done before I begin my day to completing the remainder in the evening. As beat as I was a few nights this week I still went out and trained and made it happen.

I was also lucky enough for Sifu Brinker to find me a time slot that would work for him and I could maintain my weekly one on ones. For me these are critical and I am very grateful that I still have this tool to stay grounded and a source for all my advancements and set backs to remain in check.

I have been working on a difficult challenge the last while that involves some in depth connections and discoveries. I caught myself becoming frustrated and the lack of quality and progression was more than apparent. I was losing the technique and the mental calm that is required to make this work succesful. So I shut this down for the week and will dive back into it starting tomorrow. No sense programming bad habits and the need to remember that two steps back, one step forward is okay. As it has been said: The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.

Mlong Kwuen is coming along well considering we are learning it on line and I'm really enjoying this form so far. It has definately enhanced all of my form work and that is always a good thing. 

My axe form is still coming along well and I am still stuck on a few parts that are starting to smooth out. I have managed to finally get the beast out in the open at a park close to my home and go out later in the evening. I am a little gun shy about swinging it in public due to a situation I had a couple of years ago. Between some petrified parents and a visit from the RCMP, fun wreckers indeed!!! So I am careful where I go to train in public these times. Nonetheless it is great to be training outside and clearing the imaginary battle field. That is pretty much all I have for this week, see you on the screen.  

Defining the Weapon

I had a Sifu during class a quite a while ago tell me, probably like most of us, to relax the shoulders...relax the shoulders. At the time I couldn't feel any tension in the shoulders and I didn't fully understand what she was getting at. I tend to have trouble comprehending some of these things until I can find an analogy or a way to visualize it mechanically. Once I reach this understanding I can apply it to what I am trying to do and successfully move forward. This time around Sifu provided the analogy. She said, "Think of an animal prior to attack or being attacked. They are supple, there is no definition to the muscle structure, they are fully relaxed. That is until they either defend or attack, then you can see every muscle in their body and the speed is lightening quick and a lot of power is applied." I also ran into a quote in one of my Bruce Lee books that I have been reading a lot of lately that reminded me of this as well.

Recollection and Anticipation-recollection and anticipation are fine qualities of consciousness which distinguish the human mind from that of the lower animals. They are useful and serve certain purposes, but when actions are directly related to the problem of life and death they must be given up so they will not interfere with the fluidity of mentation and the lightening rapidity of action.  

These analogies came to me the other day when I was working on the heavy bag and going through my forms. When I am striking or moving, I'm thinking of what I am doing in deep detail and constant checks and adjustments. I am anticipating the attack or defense, so I tend to load things up slowly and then complete the technique to definition and apply full power simultaneously. This effects my transitioning, speed, and timing to a point of feeling jammed or held back like a rubber band. So I applied this mindset by doing my best to completely relax every muscle I could, attempting to move and transition light as a feather, keeping the over abundance of thought out of the equation and leaving the intention and power out until I needed it. 

Well the results were pretty cool as I found I place resistance in almost everything, the anticipation or thought being the main cause. It's not like I wasn't aware of this before or applied the rotation and power at the last second, but I feel now the awareness is more defined, a deeper connection with my Kung Fu. I seem to have improved the fluidity, my speed has increased substantially, I run on intuition rather than focus, and that full body snap is more powerful. I can transition better and I feel a lot more relaxed when practicing and full body execution is definately defined with a great snap. I still have a ways to go and it's not perfected by any stretch but I am aware of the flaws that occur more keenly and this awareness comes into effect even with my weapon now so this is great. Once I get a good handle on this then I can dive into the deep complexity and disciplined reservation of separating form from application, while not thinking about it.....one thing at a time.

I have also been doing a lot of core work to improve my stability and gain more power from my center. Needless to say the core is everything and I have been placing a lot of focus there with all kinds of exercises. I am making good results but the crucial area I failed to keep in check was stretching and I paid the price for that last week, painful lesson indeed.

Weight lifting has come into my training as well and it feels great. Nothing over the top, just enough to build some endurance and exercising the small muscles as they are the most important as they keep the joints from blowing apart. I have adopted a hand grip exercising thing, whatever you call it that I can adjust from 20-90lbs for those soft tissue hand techniques. I practice these on the bag and find that if you don't have strong hands, you'll hurt yourself and the technique is virtually ineffective. I use different hand configurations during push ups as well to not only strengthen the hands, but all the muscles that will be dispatched when applying said techniques as well. So this is going well.

An area which I really really suck at and need to improve and change is writing my training down consistently. I somehow fail to recognize the value, I know better too but still can't seem to penetrate my thick skull. So I had to get tough on myself here and carry my book around with me....everywhere! I have adopted the mindset that this is just like my field progress reports I have to do as a superintendent. If I don't do my reports I have to answer for it. If I don't write my progress down then I never did it. I am not gaining any returns on my investment and failing to pay myself first. I won't have a successful year with out this tool so I better step up my accountability and make it happen.

Lastly my axe form is coming along well but I am stuck in one area in particular that is affecting weapon timing during a stance transition. It's a technical area so those are always fun to troubleshoot, but I believe I have a solution that will be a nice addition to the carnage those two poor suckers are going to experience for getting cute! I'm sure you are all experiencing similiar issues with your formwork. We all know that as your form evolves, so do other problems. However, this is progress and it's nothing that can't be fixed through exploring yourself and your weapon with more practice drills and from reps. All on the quest for awesomeness! See you on the screen.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Two Wheel Therapy

As individuals there is always something that we need outside of our normal interest or occupation, away from family life, the need to remove us from everything. Something that takes us out of the constant and places us in the pause. A reset, another world perhaps, the area between reality and dreams, that serenity or solace, the great escape.

 This doesn't just drop into your lap, you have to find it and that's not always easy. There needs to be some experimentation, the courage to test yourself and search. The courage to maybe even ask for help to find that sign that takes you down that path to find yourself and sort the mess. To make the conversion of inefficient to efficient, contaminated to pure. That place of comfort and security where you can just pull everything out you have going on deep inside and sort it through, tune the machine to balanced awesomeness.

 Whatever it may be it's critical. Because I don't care who you are, you can't do it on the fly or alone always. It will eat you from the inside out and the more you neglect the inventory, the more negative and scrambled mess you will carry and it will mutate into something that will throw a wrench into your personal gears of excellence. That excellence translates into individual awesomeness. But it's not maintenance free. A clean mind is imperative as it runs everything. Okay that was super deep, and perhaps this post may be a little over the top, but I hope the point is there.

For me usually Kung Fu works very well and I can tell when I neglect the gift. But what happens if this isn't working because I'm not running mentally efficient? I'm stuck on something that I can't let go and everything else around me sucks at the moment and I can't think anything through. When that happens I turn to my bike. I'd like you to meet my therapist Purple Death. She's been with me for almost 20 years and it's her 30th birthday this year.

When stuff goes South or my head becomes clogged and heavy, I jump on my bike and we head out to the highway. In this moment, this is where I do my best thinking. This is where my mind calms and the sorting and clarity comes through easily. I'm in my own void I guess. As I ride and think about things deeply. I listen to the roar of the engine, the mechanics of the drivetrain translating the raw power to the rear tire that rips up the asphalt. I am feeling the different temperatures, the smells of nature, the sights of nature. I am traveling just inches above the highway at high speeds, much faster than we are meant to be. There is that edge of risk that my personality needs or even craves perhaps to find that calm and clear the inventory. I'm off in another world and before I know it, I snap out of it and I have just covered several miles, corners and landscapes. Sometimes I pull off of the busy highway and just hit a secondary road and just take it all in, just putting along and it starts all over again. My bike keeps me in line to though. If I abuse her or neglect her, she will kill me or leave me stranded. It's a give and take for sure and that is the ultimate agreement. I take none of it for granted.

So what happens when I can't go out and ride? Well then I have the garage and we hang out and blast death metal. I go through every square inch of her. I can fix or replace any part of her, I get my bike like it get's me. It's critical that she looks and runs her best at all times as well. I owe her this because my bike gives and helps me so much, unconditionally. While I'm diving deep into all of this and the eye for detail is sharp, thumbing through the manuals, installing high quality parts that can take it when I ride it like I stole it, adjustments and tuning so I don't melt her heart and she runs clean....I'm  thinking about things and sorting my head out. It's just another part of the escape.

All of this takes me away from it all and by the time I finish my ride or hang out in the garage, I feel good about things. If I need more, well I just repeat the process because my bike and all of this never let's me down. There's something out there for everybody to make ourselves feel better and deal with things, that reset that's critical to our well being and mental health. That something for ourselves that let's us run in our own individual voids and fulfill the quest for reason and understanding. I hope everyone has some place to go, do what they enjoy and have that tool that makes it happen. I think right now something such as this is very important and if you don't have this type of tool, go out and find it. Ask for directions if needed, grab it and run with it, don't be shy or uncertain, the only thing stopping this quest is you. See you on the screen.

15 Minutes

Keeping things simple and manageable is something we all try to strive for. Life loves to challenge us and that is something that we can never control but we can control how we manage the situation efficiently and effectively. The current lifestyle that we live in doesn't make this easy. Everything has to be done THIS MINUTE, very few practice patience, nothing can be done fast enough, me first and hurry up already! As a society we have some how along the way been influenced and led to believe this is normal and packing as much stuff in a day or when we are on own time is just the way it is. I think some people right now are having a real long hard look at their lives and how we live them. I know I have and honestly it's been a great reset and moment of clarity as the machinery rests and the dust has long settled.

I have really been enjoying this down time and see it as a great opportunity to embrace the challenge and see it through. The overall cause of this down time is not so great though as people are put at risk, people are dying, and things are not so well overall. But I am using it as a time to catch up with my family, complete those long over due projects, and bringing my training back up to speed and where it belongs. It's given me an opportunity to re evaluate how I approach things and how I will chose to live as things come back to normal.

The biggest thing for me right now is to bring in a solid and effective routine to make great changes in regards to my Kung Fu. As I said before I am not good at routine at all, in fact I really suck at it. I have just always taken what I need to do and get it done as it comes to me. But that doesn't work so well when things become busy. It doesn't have to be intricate or erratic, it just needs to be consistent and something that can be maintained and adaptable. All it needs to be is 15 minutes a day to keep things moving along. As Sifu Brinker used tell us, you give me 15 minutes a day, and I guarantee you a black belt in 3-5 years. Of course certain aspects of training require much more time, but that is another point. You can get a lot of Kung Fu training done in this time as it's about the same time we did for warm ups before class. I remember pools of sweat on the mats and taxed muscles in this short period of time for years and a lot of things covered as well. This is what I'm working on very hard and with enough consistency it will become normal, even on those long days at work.

As far as the rest of my Kung Fu goes I am making great progress with many aspects. My forms and stances are coming along well and I have continued work on my dangling board breaks which have become very successful as I feel they are coming from the whole body and not just the shoulders. There is more breaks than swollen hands anyway. I have been working on the right reverse and will be switching it up to a left reverse ridge hand. From there I hope to accomplish some breaks with kicks, but that is a ways off yet. I'm also switching up into some demon training here for the next 2 weeks to give my stamina and strength a much needed boost as I am now comfortable that I have the form down well. I can't switch it up to demon mode if the form sucks because this will for sure cause an injury, form is everything if the intent is to build something strong, so I don't mess with that too much. I'm just really taking advantage of our current situation and see it as an opportunity and now that the sun is out and the snow is gone, the outdoors calls! See you on the screen!

The Quest for Definition

Reaching the point of definition, or the full body snap, with the proper grounding and skeletal alignment can be tricky to say the least. However achieving this is a crucial part of the mechanics to apply a technique utilizing the whole body. There is a lot going on and to be able to be in tune with all of these factors requires a huge abundance of both the physical repitition and sharp mental awareness towards the stances and technics involved. They need to work as one and what may feel very wrong at the time, may actually be right on the mark. But due to the high amounts of repititions that took place, the awareness just hasn't struck yet.

I have been working hard on proper skeletal alignment and grounded execution on Loa Gar lately and have made some really good progress. My techniques are now being led by the hips, completed at the center of my quadrants, and that back foot is now straightening out when I snap those hips and transition through the form. I'm starting to feel that conductor, not THE energy, but the snap that completes the connection, that final second when the technique reaches complete rotation and that back leg and heel is grounded firm, an explosion from the center out. (I think this is what is meant by compressing in our stances) It's weird but it feels weak as opposed to when I throw everything from the shoulder. The thing is, it's not, it's about 14 times stronger than the one arm because the whole body is now involved with proper alignment and timing. Keeping in mind all of this and slowing the form down has really smoothed out my flow and improved my timing. Now I just need to apply this to the rest of the school forms as well because they must move together. I'm also learning the new bow and how that translates into the forms, it's coming.

My weapon form is coming along well and making these new connections has both improved how to handle the weapon more efficiantly and smooth out the timing. To add to this I am far more aware the positioning of the weapon in motion and where it is to insure I reach proper definition at the execution point. For me I use the Lao Gar stance when I train with a heavy weapon because it provides a great counterweight and gives that reach and stability when I am trying to keep the weapon moving smooth and timed correctly, it's also great for transitioning between stances.

The last little while has been great because my attention is fully on my girls and my Kung Fu. I haven't seen much of them over the last few years as a result of my work. Now I can see my wife everyday and hang out with my daughter. Actually right now I'm teaching my daughter to drive. I wouldn't have had this opportunity if I was busy at work and it is one of those things as a parent that you only get one shot at. She's doing awesome but she needs to watch the speed and is already shaking her head at drivers!! She comes by it honestly though as both of her parents drive everything like we stole it. 

My Kung Fu is also coming along very well as I have no distractions and just having the time to concentrate on it and build a routine has been great. With the roles reversed I can bring my routine into my work and hopefully it sticks, I'm not so good at routine, I just do things as they come. The problem is though my focus and prioritization becomes corrupted and suddenly the task at hand takes priority over everything and that is no good. So I'm really working hard to overcome this as a work ethic, focus, and commitment is not the problem. The problem is I need to remember that my best interests come first, not last, and if I can build a real strong routine and hold this mindset in line with everything else as my work returns it should all move together. For someone that is well known to be a troubleshooter in my field of expertise, I sure suck at fixing my own s$#t, but this is what this time is for and when all else fails, I go back to my first posts and hammer that home. See you on the screen.

A Pivotal Moment

I'm sure we have all had an event or a moment in our training at the kwoon that has had a deep impact on our Kung Fu that provided clarity or motivation to just where we were at and what we were doing and where we are going. A moment that answered a question that you didn't even know existed, a beam of light into a moment of darkness or uncertainty, and moment of success that exposed itself through countless failures or misconception, or just a moment that was so very cool to the individual that it inspired evolution or understanding to ourselves as a whole.

At this time many are struggling with the isolation and how to keep moving forward, I get that and understand. Isolation doesn't really bother me too much as I typically keep to myself as it is anyway and have had to train away from the kwoon for years so this is no big deal for me. But I thought perhaps I would send out a challenge/moral booster to others that may help or not. Nonetheless, it's worth a shot.

So here it goes, take a moment to reflect on a pivotal moment in your training that occured and inspired motivation, change, or appreciation. Was there a Sifu involved, a training partner, or someone you didn't even know? Where were you at then, what effect did this moment have on you at that very moment and how did it translate to where you are now?

My moment through reflection was something I really needed at the time. I have always been big on our lineage and almost to the point of relentless on tradition. I'm an old school cat for sure and embrace hard work and challenge. But at that particular time in my training I was uncertain about where I was. I was questioning my skill level and if I was showing enough respect to our lineage and our style. I was wondering if I was holding true the respect to my teachers and my past masters and doing enough to uphold the standard, practicing this gift to the best of my abilities. I was also wondering at the time if we were becoming watered down. Are we losing the potency or our lineage. Am I in the right place?

Then one time in the Kwoon one of our master level instructors was speaking of our lineage and spoke a little about each one of our grand masters, their teachers. Sifu was speaking of one in particular that I admired quite a bit. When I found out that he was part of our lineage I must have researched every thing I possibly could about them prior to this, so I was glued to every word Sifu was saying. But then something beyond extrodinary to me took place. Sifu looked right at me and said that I reminded him of this person, I was bult like him, I moved like him. I was vapour locked and of course my head swelled up a bit, because that was a pretty big deal to me.

But those few sentences changed everything for me. It answered all of my questions and motivated me so much. It gave me clarity and assured me I was in the right place. That moment proved just how pure our style of Kung Fu is and the commitment to tradition is by our instructors and the standard that has maintained at our school.  But there was something much bigger to this that went far beyond me. Think about it for a second, you have a master level instructor, that see's one of his teachers, through one of his students Kung Fu. Thats pretty damn cool if you ask me.


So that's my pivotal moment that inspired me to train hard and remain loyal to our lineage, be mindful of appreciation and respect to tradition and our Sifu's. Protect and respect our school and maintain the art. This is also one of the very things that inspired me to go through the Black Belt code of Ethics, understand it and maintain it, break it all down and practice it, just like our Grand Masters. Continue to work on mastering our style through practicing curriculumn. But most importantly, it made me happy and proud to be a martial artist and carry on just like those before me did.

If anyone is willing to share a moment of reflection that had a profound effect on their training, please do. See you at the Kwoon 

Transparency Through Absence

Well the last little while has been a drastic change for many. Being isolated to our homes can be a little overwhelming and to some degree unhealthy if we don't keep our minds and bodies occupied, thank goodness we are martial artists. Another thing to be very appreciative about is our Sifus'. They are going above and beyond to keep the school moving forward, taking the risks to go to and from the school in the middle of a pandemic to manage and continue to teach the art of Kung Fu and on top of it provide some one on one time. It's all pretty awesome really and speaks volumes to the level of commitment our school has to the art and it's students.

The thing is though, although we are seperated and the Kwoon is shutdown for the time being, I feel the connection to each other is closer than ever. We have a really good opportunity to remain transparent and the discipline of team involvement can still be had through technology. Although my blogs have been late,(which I am about to change today) I am driven to post my forms weekly to show my progress and journal the same, to keep training hard and mindful of what I am doing. I am driven to stay as connected as I can through Kwoon talk and try to awknowledge every post I can to let people know, we are in this together and we are here for each other.....together we stand, divided we fall.

 It's weird but I feel more connected and have probably the strongest connection I have ever had to my I Ho Chuan year and others on the team. I am driven to transparency more than ever and look forward to seeing this most challenging year, one of our best. This is a strong team, probably the strongest I have ever seen. The adaptation to change and the voluntary contributions, each member displaying their own individuality but maintaining the mindset of together inspires me tremendously. I feel obligation and discipline to train hard and maintain my commitments and just pull off a great year of awesomeness. Well done team, train hard, stay positive, stay connected and we shall continue to blow peoples minds right out of their skulls through this teams awesomeness!! See you on the screen!!

Tools of Success

So far my discipline is coming around well and I am in a good place. I have adopted a training cycle that is restoring my form, strength and endurance, and although slow, my flexibilty. My ribs have healed up well but the down time has cost me core strength and fexibility in my hips. This was more than evident when transitioning into a open x the other night in class. So I have been putting forward an incremental process in my push ups and sit ups and using both the school and my I Ho Chuan forms.

 I have always been a firm believer in changing up repetitive exercises and training in a way to strengthen my muscles in both directions. In addition I try to implement 2-3 exercises in one to double the efficiancy. Like doing my push ups with a TRX and implementing frog kicks into my pull ups, kicks with a horse stance, hidden leg technique, and increasing/decreasing distance with kicks..etc.

To reduce injury from repetitive exercises and strengthen my muscles in both directions I do my push ups with 7 different hand configurations and 5 with pull ups. I work these items together in the same set when I have accesibility to a chin up bar. For core work I have 4 different styles of sit ups, use the TRX, plank, and I will add weights into the mix once I gain my form and strength and endurance back. To work the core the other direction I have been working on the bridge. I'm a long way off from this but it is a goal I have. To restore what I have lost though I have really been concentrating on the most important aspect of training, form. Also at the moment I am doing a lot of low number sets. I have a long ways to go with this but the results are coming in quicker than I thought they would.

For myself there is no better way to sharpen all aspects of Kung Fu than practicing forms. All of our school forms pretty much cover all of out stances and techniques. So again you are working to improve many factors doing one thing. Endurance and strength through stances, stretching dynamically instead of static, and loosing up and strengthening those little muscles. An added bonus of course is cardio and timed breathing. I do my best to run through all of the school forms daily, mostly because I have the time right now.

This is all about to change though as I will be heading up North soon for a 3-4 week shutdown as an Ironworker and then from there I will be starting with a new company as a Bridge Superintendant. I very grateful right now and take none of this for granted. I'm just very lucky to be multi-skilled and have something to fall back on.

However, this is where things really go South for me and my training. This is where I start to prioritize others before myself. I have a focus and work ethic that works against me sometimes and it becomes as erratic as a heart rate monitor and angers me...and me angry is never good. I recognize this and intend to keep the focus where it is now. My investment and commitment to myself, the art, the school, and of course those I am travelling on the journey of mastery with. We all may be on a different path, but the meeting point to the next level is the same.

Although I do believe this is going to be my best year, I also know it is going to be my toughest. I am going to be on the road again and away from the school so I need to keep that focus and commitment on the prize, paying myself first and not channeling it soley on others or one thing. I really want to work hard on the balance, but enjoy the ride also. One tool is the basics, push ups and sit ups and forms. Even in a small space you can break your forms up and pratice those trouble areas. Another important tool that is working well right now and will help I'm sure is my journaling. Everytime I start to get side tracked or frustrated because things aren't going the way they should, I read my very first post I put up at the beginning of this year. It reminds me of the cause of things going South and why I became mad enough to do something about it and what I intend to do about it through clarity and self reflection. Engagement and commitment is everything, as is self discipline. I am a stubborn Taurus and it's time to wipe out the clown shaking the red flag and bust out of the arena and be free. Time will tell, see you at the Kwoon.

The Gift of Kung Fu

It's nothing new in todays economy or in the world of construction, or any occupation for that matter, it's feast or famine. It doesn't matter if your at the top of the list or the guy at the bottom, the chopping block and it's faithful friend the blunt axe spares no one. I was laid off from my position recently and to say it was unexpected would be a statement of delusion and unlike a common theme of today, I am not entitled to jack @#$%. It's the nature of the beast and it can happen to anyone at anytime. It's never a good feeling and the situation can have a negative bearing and impact, but I have seen this before. So has my girls and we know what we need to do and how we are going to do it. Out comes the tools of survival and the determination to succeed and seek opportunities. Through the support of my girls and an audit of available options, something will expose itself. Once it does I will latch onto it. I just have to adapt and overcome and take what I want, nobody is going to hand it to me.

Part of the process is my training. It's times like these that I need it more than ever and it never fails me. Kung Fu provides me with direction and calm, but sharp focus. It balances my thought process and rational when dealing with those weight bearing times that life just loves to throw at us. Kung Fu makes me see things and embrace things differently. Such as all is opportunity and challenge is strength, take what's yours and never back down. Kung Fu keeps my mental and physical strengths balanced so I can be dropped into any situation and not only succeed, but evolve and succeed. Kung Fu provides me with humility and understanding. If I had to shovel @#$% to feed my family so be it, we all need to make ends meet and Kung Fu removes the pride and the ego and naturally put's others first.

I am very grateful for Kung Fu and all of those that made it possible through much much tougher times than we could ever see or understand. They survived and took the opportunities and evolved, no matter the situation. So can I and I will. Kung Fu provides me with discipline amd commitment when I fail or hit a wall to bust that stuff down and create a solution and act.

 Kung Fu will help me embrace this gift of opportunity and make 2020 my most successful year yet in both my occupation and my Kung Fu because I owe it to myself and my family. But now that I have this down time, I can sharpen and polish the most potent tool in my arsenal, my Kung Fu. It's important for me to remain grateful and marvel at its continuing evolution and it's ability to keep me engaged. Kung Fu provides the rule of respect and care. We all know tools must be maintained and kept up or they become useless and forgotten...all must balance through give and take. See you at the Kwoon.

Stepping Stones

So my year has been off to a rough start as I came in late on everything that I needed to do to prepare for the year of the rat but being thrown into the fire and the calling of adapt and overcome the challenge is nothing new, I embrace that. However, although I can be a very focused and committed individual, I fail to keep whats best for me front and center and channel that focus and commitment for others instead. Seldom does the investment return as much as I have out into it, in the end your just another number. Don't get me wrong, this has provided me with many opportunities and I'm seldom out of work for very long as a result of these efforts and the well being of my girls are my whole primary focus. But in the end, my health, family life, and my Kung Fu are sacrificed due to the work-a-holic mentality I have. I plan to use the focus and commitment of a year of mastery to overcome and embrace and act on the change necessary. It will be a long overdue challenge but I am ready to see it through as I completely bombed the last two years. I start out strong, a good plan laid out, then boom, I'm gone never to be seen or heard from again. The damaging factor is perspective of priorities and where they sit for me. All or nothing does tend to come into play but I have learned to shove that to the side and I know this mindset is counterproductive. It's tough to overcome when it has been the mindset for so many years but I do know I need to break the cycle. Like any character defect, it's a work in progress and as of late I seem to be coming ahead.

I have been reviewing my forms and working on my conditioning as of late. This has been a little tricky as I cracked 3 ribs not too long ago and still in the healing phase. I honestly didn't know they were cracked and just carried on thinking they were bruised, nope they are cracked so I had to let them heal. This kept me from doing a lot of things and it sure doesn't take long for ones conditioning to lapse when you are limited to what you can do. Now I'm in an incremental stage of loading up my core and other aspects of conditioning. I am in some pain of course, but it is a good pain, an invested pain because I know each day I will become stronger, each day a little more flexible, and my muscle memory is awakening. Just have to be patient and embrace the incremental progress. That alone is sure a good feeling knowing all is not lost. Qigong has been both my friend and my worst enemy lately, but for me it has been my best tool for regaining endurance, timed breathing, and flexibility. I havent done it for so long so it's been a challenge remembering the form and of course actually doing it, but the results are noticable and effective for where I am curently at.

 
I have chosen the Long Axe or Halberd again for this years weapon. I just absolutely love this weapon and have spent countless hours with it on my imaginary battle fields and a lot of time and effort working towards mastering it. The repetitive weapon choice is not a comfort zone thing or an avoidance of challenge, it is part of a long term goal I set a long time ago. Once I have a very solid feel for the mechanics of the Halberd and a good solid understanding of how to move and attack with it, then I will move onto a live Guandao. To me, that's the ultimate weapon and once I reach the skill level I feel is accomplished, I'll take on this weapon. I can see it now, shimmering in gold with cool music and angels flying it over to me!! Best ever!

My hand form Loa Gar is another repeat with the intention of seeing through another long term goal of extreme challenge and the preservation of our lineage. I actually really enjoy the technical aspect of this form and style, the mystery to the mechanics and how it all works together is something I never get bored with. The form has teased me many times as I have momentarily seemed to unlock it's power, but then the inability to do it again prevails, all on the quest for knowledge I guess. One of the other reasons is Loa Gar or Hung Gar is officially an extinct art. Our school is probably one of very few that actually still practices it. Our lineage is very important to me as is my respect for our past masters. If you look into our schools lineage it goes back a long ways and many very talented artists have cut the path for us. This potency cannot die off and needs to be maintained or in the end, it's gone and all of that hard work means nothing.

 I'm not into contributing to the demise of traditional martial arts any longer as over the last few years I have done just that by not being at the school. This alone has kept me inspired during my abscence and has prompted me to act and instead of just turning into a black belt made of ice cream and turn my back on it all. I will continue to be a practioner of the art and not be afraid to get sore and sweaty to see it through. That's one of my primary goals this year to review and perfect all of my forms, intensify and regain my conditioning, and constantly review the curriculumn so I have a solid base and understanding of our style beyond what I already know. Besides I am supposed to be doing this anyway as one of our best tools, the Black Belt Code of Ethics is sworn to by me. Although I have repeated myself several times on this point, I'm gonna do this, is now going to be I am doing this. Well that's one post that I brought out of the drafts, many more to come as I actually want to see 52 posts this year instead of 5 or 6 and then I disappear. See you at the Kwoon.

Absence of Kung Fu

It becomes a real moment of truth if you do, or have trained, in the martial arts and suddenly stop or gradually step away from your discipline. Even if it's unintentional. What I mean by this is you suddenly become a doer or a doee. It's not hard to let something go unintentionally through distraction or other things in life that suddenly do, and will take priority over everything. That's life, and how you perceive and act on adaptation continues to cut the path....or doesn't. You just might suddenly lack some tools you once had and can't figure out where they were dropped or just simply placed somewhere else close by, and all you need to do is reach for it. Even in a life of distractions, if something is fully ingrained, it will always be with you. But if you don't keep it front and center, it will lose it's purpose. If you lose the mindset of benefit through investment, it will fade and suddenly it's gone. Even if you are strong willed, it's also very easy to take things for granted, one thinks that no matter what, something that powerful will always be there. But if it doesn't stay with you or you fail to act on the investment through discipline, it never really was. The art within won't grow or maintain on it's own.

 A harsh question does seem to come up for me when I constantly notice somethings missing and I fail to act on it. When I can't train the way I want or have the time I want. Was I really in it for me or was I in it to use as a stepping stone or temporary fix to something that was going on? Did I let it slip on purpose because I have lost faith in it's soul purpose, or some how adopted a mindset of corrupted ideology that became a justified excuse? Was it ever really as fully ingrained as I led myself to believe it was? In order to troubleshoot these kinds of things you have to dig deep, all angles, step back and look in the areas you normally don't. The thing is, if I never really had my heart and soul into it in the first place, if I never lived and practiced the art and invested the blood, sweat, and the dirt and appreciated and respected it, made it a part of me, why would I care in the first place that it's gone? Why would I even care to take the time to figure this out and find a solution? I wouldn't. But I do.....every day. I have applied the art in many cases without even realizing it's still just as strong as it ever was, even if I don't see it or feel it physically to the degree I think it should be.

To something that seems so complicated, it is in fact is very basic, just train and continue the investment and embrace even the tiniest amount of discipline and time to my Kung Fu as I can. It must become and remain a priority. Sifu Bryant put a really good post out a while back that really resonated with me. I won't go into it too far, but to put it straight, he brought up a point of financial discipline, pay yourself first. Damn rights pay yourself first! Brilliant point Sifu, thanks. That simple point alone had a major effect on me and instilled a new perspective and approach.

Absence of Kung Fu tends to throw me into another trajectory of aimlessness and frustration, I miss it. I know it's part of me and it needs to become more front and center. I need to change the perspective that it is not gone. Invest in it and me.The longer I have been away from consistent training and the Kwoon, the more and more it burns everyday, not the opposite of fade and call it once was. So that made me feel about better about my current status. I use the lessons and the purpose every day, it's just needs to come front and center, pay myself first. I guess we'll see where it all leads over the next while.