Merry Christmas and to all a recognition

Just wanted to take this minute to wish all of you a healthy and happy new year and a well deserved christmas break to you and yours. It has been a year of great things witnessed and many great challenges defeated by some of the coolest people I have met in a long time. I am grateful to have had the pleasure of training with all of you and we should hopefully see you all soon. All the best to the Dragon team and to all the instuctors and students of Silent River. Merry Christmas!
Brian Chervenka

Advancing from a distance but the hearts at home

I look at the date of my last blog and can't believe how long its been since I journaled and shared my latest thoughts, and said to myself "that just sucks". As far as things are going in my journey its challenging and in some ways sacrificial towards my family and kung fu. Although as I stated before my heart and dedication towards both is concrete. I have been putting in a lot of hours these last few months to better myself and of course challenging myself to beyond my capacities. Which tells me I am practicing kung fu and working towards mastery full bore. Kung fu means hard work, kung fu teaches discipline and respect in the form of always a constant evolution that is never mastered but ingrained into the depths of our souls.  Ingrained into us so deeply that at times it would be so easy to say to hell with this. But I find the more I apply the deepest roots of our kung fu, which is internal, the more I crave the challenge of working harder and the more  I can work towards the balance of leaving emotion out of my thoughts, especially dealing with the items I don't quite understand or in the learning stages of the unknown. I guess in a way the installation of automaticity sets in and gives an individual a look at practicing life in the void.

As far as training goes I have been working Dah Mu Sinh. I have been trying to work on the over extension of my punches and my heel coming up in certain areas of the form that has never occurred before. Forms are one of my most favourite parts of kung fu because if you can't get in time to train, you can do a few form reps  and cover alot of basics in your training. Especially in this form because it is the base for all of our training pyramids. I also get very frustrated with forms because they are a constant evolution in perfection and correction. The never ending quest for balance. I have also been working on my kicks which need a lot of work. I have the basis down but have discovered the route of all my problems. Flexibility. If I kick low they're pretty good, but as I try to kick higher my center is lost and I am throwing myself all over the place. I have set up a stretching aid that I have learnt from reading Bruce Lees' fighting method. It consists of a rope and two pulleys that help pull the leg up in a stance. Once you have reached a certain height you slowly release the grip on the rope and try to hold your leg up, but continue to use the rope as an aid until you can hold your leg up on your own. We'll see how this works out. It like muscle building and stretching in one exercise.

One last thing I would like to share is my absence to the team. I am sorry guys I am not there. It bothers me alot that I don't have my hands on the rope. Right now I have little time with my family and usually jammed with extra work that requires, well, extra time. My focus is my daughter, she needs her fathers energy and the reassurance that I am dedicated to all her interests. My wife needs my help and my time as well. They both have a good solid understanding of what I am trying to accomplish both at home and with my training. My girls are tough and understand the sacrifices I have to make towards both and support me ten fold. Right now its a little different, I am at work everyday and spending very little time at home. Those of you that know me, know I mean no disrespect and I am fully committed to everything we are trying to accomplish this year. If I could make it work I would. See you soon hopefully and I will try to respond and make my presence known better than as of late. Once again sorry guys.

Brian Chervenka

Who parked this elephant on my path?

Working 10-12 hrs a day, everyday can feel almost like a life sentence. It takes its toll on every aspect of your life. Family time and events that cannot be attended because you have to work. Training takes an absolute beating, even after you are on the ground, it keeps kicking. But do we stop fighting or carrying on? No. As long as your heart and your intentions to better yourself and the well being of your family and beliefs never lose their potency, the fighting never stops. I have been in a very difficult position lately regarding my family and my training. I am on the ground and literally taking the better end of a good life beating. Knowing that I'm missing classes, looking into my daughters eyes when she's asking me," when are we going swimming again?" My wife saying to me she only sees me for an hour or two a day and am I working next weekend. Knowing the longer I am away from the kwoon the more I am going to have to catch up. The I Ho Chuan team practicing demos and now I am one of those guys not there and I can see that pause that occurs when its someones cue and they're not there. Its almost comparable to a hollow because that individuals energy is not present on the team and everyone just stares, its not complete. Wondering if this is what its going to be like the higher you go up your career ladder and is it really worth it. Dealing with bean counters and their complete lack of reality outside of their handy stats and production curves sent down from the "think tank team" that have their heads completely pounded up their butts. Handling 4 crews and 25 personnel and a job thats all on you. Not being able to get in much attention to my requirements or training, and as far as journaling goes. Well, I have really dropped the ball on this one. I didn't just drop it, I shot it with a grenade launcher. So what do you do? If you read my last blog, you already know. Stop and reset. How can I apply kung Fu here? What part of my training tools can I execute, knowing full well this is all part of my journey and acceptance is the easy part. It is what it is, and I chose this path. How about the obvious? Recognize that this is the process of mastery and one of the challenges I must get through to advance to the next level.

It would be so much easier to go back on the tools and just roll with everything I know and pull my days off like a cake walk. Thats not advancing towards mastery. Staying where I am and working hard to perfect the level I am at now is the place to be. Think of it like learning a new form. Alright now I am back up on one knee. Ignore the idiots and advance past them, prove to myself and the ones working with me that they can count on me to lead them to a successful project and teach them how to hone their own skills and embrace their input to better my own. A solid group of professionals that operate as a finely tuned machine. Regaining my composure and now standing. Expressing to the I Ho Chuan team that I am sorry I am not there but I am practicing my hand and weapon forms as much as I can. So the next time they see me its like I haven't skipped a beat. Standing upright now and shaking my arms out. Assuring my daughter and explaining to her that I have a long christmas break coming and I am working to better myself and my family and we'll have tons of fun for 10 days straight. Hanging with my wife and catching up on some we time, that I'm sure will involve presents. Keep practicing as much as I am able and keep my heart in my training. Knowing I can catch up and enjoying the journey. The Kwoon and Kung Fu aren't going anywhere. Knowing kung fu is not something I do to kill time, but its now growing into my life style and what I have installed so far is solid and will get me through. Leaving shattered mediochracy behind and advancing closer to mastery. Now I am brushing the dust off I and am standing in a solid stance. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kick an elephants ass.

The discipline of reset

Slamming on the brakes of your life ride is by far the most beneficial way to stay on the cool. Sure flying down the life highway in a manic rage or pulling off a set path to fly through any obstacle at mach 9 is great too. But after awhile things start flying apart, sense of direction is distorted, incompletion is evident and eventually it all falls apart and your stuck dragging your feet. I have found that when things start to become overwhelming or problems arise being stressed does nothing for rational thought. Whether your being pushed at work, home, training, or education you have to stop and tell everyone and everything around you to take a hike until YOU are ready. Its your life and yours alone. Its more than obvious people have become accustomed to being pushed past their limits and beyond. There is nothing wrong with being pushed to your limits, in fact its a great thing, thats what makes us stronger and wiser to everything. But when its forced by other things or other people and no longer can be dealt with by the individual. Then it becomes unhealthy. Life is going to always be tough, thats a given, but it shouldn't have to be a ball and chain. Take the time for your self to reset and look at what your doing, where you need to be as a professional, or a parent, or as a martial artist. What corrective actions need to be taken to procede on the calm, and what garbage needs to be dumped out of your little red wagon of life to lighten the load. We all carry issues or things we don't need to or have to. We are all confronted with time lines and trivial things, past or present. Look at things for what they are, is it really worth the energy or should we just smash them or set them free and move on. Things are always going to drop in front of you or beat you down. Stop, plan, take a deep breath and knock it the hell out. Carry on the way you see fit because we only get one shot if you look at the big picture. We only get one shot to raise our kids and plan our own life and where we want to be when travelling has to be done at a slower pace. If none of this makes sense, then you need to buy a motorcycle, and thats another blog.
Brian Chervenka

Stuck at the crossroads of a Kung Fu journey

I am in a position of as late that has kind of stopped me in my tracks regarding my training in where I'm at and what I am doing. I don't like to use the words busy, I prefer to use full. I am very full right now, on all aspects of my life. At least thats what I thought. The problem lies in my journey. I ran out of a prepared path I laid out long ago and now I have to layout a path two to three years ahead in order to continue on my journey with a more advanced approach. I like to look way ahead and actually visualize where I am heading and see myself there. Where I want to be regarding my life and my kung Fu. I tend to look way ahead and take the time so I can approach things in detail and move along patiently in order to build a rock solid knowledge and base. This way advancement remains calm and I always have a plan or I can pull out a life tool that I have in my arsenal and move along cutting a solid and indestructible path that will stay forever and leave behind a path for others to follow if they choose. That will never falter but can always be revised form a solid base. In other words, all of my life tools are forged from a composition of understanding and knowledge from witnessing what works and what doesn't through others and myself. Too embrace the masters and absorb  what they are willing to share and how far I am willing to expand and work through my comfort zones. I have installed many challenges and goals that will require sacrifices and a life change, all for the better of course  as I begin on my discipline of destination which has worked very well for me all through out my life.

After earning the promotion of Sihing many things changed in regards to my training. I no longer have the luxury of having a black belt to teach me twice a week in a structured class. My training is no longer laid out for me and there are areas in my curriculum that I am told to study and practice in order to successfully earn that stripe. The stripe now has become a belt. The bottom line is that however it is I am going to proceed to this next level is entirely up to me. I am not going to take a year off and kill the momentum, I can't just shut it off and expect to turn it on again with the same level of inspiration and determination I have at this moment, next year or the year after. It won't happen. But this looking ahead has kind of thrown me off of the path regarding my I Ho Chuan requirements for year of the dragon. I have already jumped way ahead into year of the snake where I plan to test and earn a black belt. Its hard for me step back and continue where I left off because to me I have already covered that distance, but in reality I have to pick up where I left off because that is unfinished business and sooner or later I will have to back track and finish what I started or its fake or a valuable component is left behind that will be required in the future is not there. I am still working steadily at my requirements. Some days good, some days not so good. I have to restore my thoughts and focus on what is in the present in order to plan the future and be successful in all aspects of my life, whether it be my family, career, or my Kung Fu. I can see me there, I just have to figure out which turn to take or do I keep straight ahead. Once this simple, but important decision is made, I can move forward and connect those last few dots on my life map and continue with the right mindset and focus.

Brian Chervenka

Emotions and Egos

Another public demo added to the list and a memory of different emotions.Commitment. Getting together with the team at 5:00 in the morning and having everyone show up and give it their best at all demo practices. To create a demo in such a short time frame displayed a very solid and dedicated team to what it is we are trying to accomplish. Excitement. When everybody is getting ready to perform, there is such a high sense of energy and its just plain cool to stand back and take in everyone doing their forms, adjusting and tweeking, putting their own personality and flow to them. Inspiration. You can't help but be inspired to do your best and that discipline is installed even when you are home or training with each other. The expectations are high and everyone is driven to succeed because as a team we are all counting on each other and want to do well for the representation of our school and the expectations of our teachers. Being nervous. No matter what mindset you use, this emotion is always present before any public activity. No matter what perspective you try to fool your brains with or how the butterflies in your stomach always amplify to elves with jack hammers, this emotion will always be present and labouring if you let it get the best of you. Although with a team and more and more public experience you achieve it does get easier. Keep in mind, everyone around you is going through the same feeling and they're pulling it off and so can you. Content. The comfort of knowing that you can approach anyone on the team for advice or maybe a relation to the trouble you are having or that little boost you need. The fact that this is a team makes it rewarding when you can do the same for someone else and being able to recognize that someone on the team may need your help but is not very good at approaching or saying how they feel and taking the initiative to approach. Pride. Witnessing all that took place and knowing you and your team were a part of it. By contributing a piece of yourself and the standard of the school. Looking around the room and feeling the energy of some truly wonderful and awesome people, not to mention extremely lethal. Disappointment. I really felt like I let the team down today. Everything went well with the exception of my board breaks. Sorry guys. Regret. I should have practiced my techniques more and took the little extra time to put the holders in the exact place required. Although I didn't stop and continued through, in my mind the word fail echoed through and the fact it was public left a sting. Humility. I have become, to a point, comfortable with the back up of being able to muscle through things. That failed me today and taught me a good lesson about not always relying on your physical strength. My ability to quickly adapt and just make it happen is great, but I think over confidence and ego impaired this ability today. One of the main reasons I try not to carry an ego is because an ego is fake and nobody respects an inflated ego and sooner or later it will catch you and it will throw you flat on your face. So as I said, the fact this reminder was public just reinforced my beliefs and was a great reminder to humility. You can't always be perfect, there is no such thing. Wisdom. Learning wisdom through mistakes is the true way to be successful and really be able to figure out what went wrong and what process is required to repair and a break down with an attention to detail in every step of your techniques to be solid and stick with you. Happiness. All in all after I managed to think things through, I couldn't stop smiling all day. Knowing what we did for those seniors today was what really mattered. I still see the smiles on their faces and I'm sure we really made an impact on their lives. I also can't stop smiling as I recall all the smiles on my teamates faces. Good job guys, you all looked awesome, and it was great to see team support from Sifu Bryant as well. Now where is the damn ice!
Brian Chervenka

Being grateful

I am grateful for many things, too many things to record on one blog thats for sure. But I'll definitely share the people or experiences that stand out or that mean the most. I am grateful for my parents. Without the life and survival skills that they passed on to me I think I would have a much tougher time at things we're handed. I'm grateful to live in the country we do and the opportunity it presents or has given to me and my family for a great life and solid future for my girls. I am very grateful that friends and some hard lessons pulled me out of the lifestyle I once thought was the place to be or I would be dead or in jail. I am grateful for meeting my wife and step daughter, this taught me to learn acceptance and responsibility and evolved understanding. I am grateful for the ability to work with my hands and use my brain comfortably in almost any situation. (again this ties in with my Father) I am grateful for my youngest daughter that never fails to challenge me or bring sunshine into any day or any situation. I am grateful for finally stepping up and becoming a martial artist and the opportunity to train at Silent River Kung Fu. I am grateful for all the great and inspiring people I have met and train with. My Kung Fu family means alot too me. I am grateful for all my teachers as a student and all my life teachers I have met through my life. Past, present, and future.

Brian Chervenka