Chaos is Normal

The last few weeks have been crazy for me as all my regular routines have been tossed into a box and dropped down a well. It's nothing new though except one thing, my approach. Things really went south a few weeks ago when my latest project which was supposed to be 5-10's, turned into 7 days a week and 10 hours plus. Earlier start times and throw a 1 hour 20 min drive one way into the equation, leaves very little time to get in some quality training. What about those short days, well that would be perfect to get to the kwoon but there's one problem. A major vehicle repair that has too be completed before this up and coming weekend as it is a major component to towing our trailer as our annual camping trip is coming fast. Now normally I would be beating the crap out of myself and questioning my grit. Labeling myself as a failure and convincing myself that I am no black belt. Once I have beat myself and my integrity to a pulp, I will move onto to anger and question the whole process and write it off as it is stupid and the expectations are pointless as nobody has time to do this if your busy. Shortly after that, I feel like an idiot for throwing my Kung Fu away and try to start over, only ending up at the beginning of the same circle, ending with the same crappy attitude.

That was then, this is now. I know for a fact I have what it takes and then some. Where I have been and how I got here speaks volumes as I look back. The process does work and it works well if you embrace it and keep it close. You have to remind yourself that no matter what happens or how messed up things can become, your Kung Fu is there and it can be applied at anytime or anywhere. The reason I say this is I have been down this road before in my training and in my life and seemed to make it this far. I haven't stopped training at all, I haven't stopped keeping my goals in front of me, and my attitude remains open and adaptable. There is plenty of stuff that can be done in a day. I may not be able to get what I want done, but what is getting done is mindful and I respect and enjoy every chance I can get to train. I have made some great discoveries and have plenty of opportunities to apply them. I have learned through my mistakes and have used them as tools. I have observed and applied changes to my approach from watching and listening to others. As I have mentioned before, I am really enjoying this year and come November, I will leave the kwoon as a Black Belt and damn proud because this time, I got over myself and remember quite clearly what I am. That's just the way it's going to have to be. My life life is not going to change to suit my training, my training is going to have to learn to adjust to the chaos, it's that simple. Chaos is my norm and with Kung Fu a part of it, there is no fail, only endless opportunity. See you at the kwoon.