Where to Start

This last while has been very difficult in moving forward. Situations, experiences, distractions and old habits awaken that can lead to frustration and in some cases personal reflection that can lead you off the path from by consulting the wrong perspective. Keeping track of the destination and believing in yourself and your Kung Fu will get you through, but that in itself is not always easy. Good thing I haven't lost touch of this and what it all means.
Let's start with a situation that happened a few days before we were to be leaving for B.C. via my Fathers farm in southern Alberta. First I get a call from a RCMP officer about an hour away telling me they have the license plate from my trailer. Oh that's just awesome! Go get my plate, stop by the house and grab the truck. Pull into the R.V storage place and our trailer is gone. Double awesome! Let the attendant know what has happened, so he reviews the security cameras. Get a call, yah we think we have your trailer on surveillance. Go to verify and confirm. Sure enough, here's these two losers rolling out of the facility with the trailer in tow, huge downward slant, wheel covers still on, and the safety chains dragging away in the gravel. Pretty much the epitome of ultimate fail. Call the wife and break the news, not cool. After my anger subsided I put it into the right perspective. It's a material item, they make them everyday and this was a lesson to insure the proper security measures. Crime is spiking hard these days and we must adapt to this. As I said, they make stuff everyday, but the hardest thing to let go of is the fantastic memories and the adventures my family and I had experienced. So we planned an alternative vacation and made the best of it. That's all you can do. I had a great visit with my family and some fantastic conversation and bonding time with my father. That means more than anything to me. My Dad is awesome.

Next issue, another new job, another aggressive schedule. I start tomorrow and work straight through the weekend with the exception of Sunday. Typically when you start a new job, rolling up the first day on site and saying I can't work this Saturday, an overtime day, is frowned upon and can sometimes make your duration shorter than originally anticipated or thought. I don't really know the people managing the job so that makes it much more difficult. So, now I am very pissed off again because I will have to miss boot camp. Boot camp is one of my most favourite events that the school provides. I always leave with an unexplained buzz, a wealth of new knowledge, a fitness level assessment, and an extreme sense of being grateful for all the time and effort involved from our black belts and special guests that make the day remarkable. Yah this really sucks hard and can dampen your spirits, not to mention this is another important step in your training. If you have never been to a boot camp or think its unimportant, think again. it's an instrumental step and a huge advancement to your Kung Fu. So if you can be there, be there.

So my training in general the last while has faltered somewhat and a complete scrambled mess. These have been dangerous waters for me to tread in. That is what completely decimated and thrown me off course on previous attempts. However this time things are different. My attitude towards it all has changed. I'm keeping it all in front of me and finding ways to adapt with the right focus and approach. Instead of putting a self imposed standard that exists no where but inside my thoughts and putting unsustainable training regiments in place with very difficult time lines, I am moving forward on a day to day basis and keeping the distant goal in the future and using this approach to succeed. November is coming fast and I will be ready. No matter what approach I have to take to make it work and move my Kung Fu forward. That is what's going to happen and that's what will happen.
Yes I am struggling a bit, but that is all part of it. That is what defines the individual and makes the journey concrete. I am in no way going to let another year pass and just write it off as oh well next year will be different. There is no next year, there is only this year and people are depending on me to get the job done. I have a great group of candidates to train with and I hold each of them in a very high area of respect. To me I let down my fellow candidates last year and that left a sting. I'm not going to do that to these guys or my teachers. I'm not going to let myself down or my girls that have offered endless support. I don't want to be one of those people that say, I used to be a martial artist, because if you do, you never were.