Improvements and Reminders

So I had the opportunity yesterday to work on a couple of my own techniques. Keeping in mind what I have learned the last while about being grounded, disruption of the six harmonies and applying circular energy and using your attackers momentum and energy as opposed to all of your own. I did my best of attempting to be mindful of all of these factors and I honestly believe I made some really good progress. I can't speak for Mr. Duncan or how he felt after it all, but I could tell immediately when things were just raw power and when the technique was beginning to awaken. After numerous repetitions, I was beginning to feel less impact and more of a deflection and interception, smoother flow, and managing to turn my attacker 180 degrees effortlessly and by the time we were on the ground, the lock was already applied and my attacker pinned and I felt completely grounded. In my mind I was excited to notice that the "wedge" was already there as well. This was very exciting that this was all through the actual technique as opposed to forcing them around with my own energy, and then trying to find and apply the lock, and then insuring there was a wedge and I was grounded. With this discovery it was very easy to know if the application was being powered through or technical application was on track and that's just cool. I also tweeked one of my other techniques but left that where it's at for the moment. I want to concentrate on one at at time and have them technically sound before I begin to practice them all at once. By this time I will have my attacker come at me at random, I won't know for the most part which one I will need to apply and from which direction they will be coming from. I feel with this approach my personal techniques will be highly effective and I will evolve that much further as a martial artist. Good stuff indeed.

I really took to heart what Sifu Brinker had to say yesterday, I love it when Sifu doesn't sugar coat things and just tells it like it is. His words made me really take a look at myself and my position as a martial artist. Am I just doing this as a hobby or is this truly part of me. Do I want to be a Grand Master some day or just some mediocre wanna be that consistently finds excuses and justifications on why I can't be or shouldn't be. I hate that word can't, but somewhere along the way I felt the need to tolerate it.  Am I actually applying myself as a true hardcore Kung Fu student, or am I just dicking around, helping water down something that is pure, something that is powerful and something that is one of the few things left that hasn't been messed with  and is allowed to be and what is meant to stay as traditional. Traditional practices require hard work and commitment. So I had to ask myself yesterday, are you committed? Is it suddenly okay to relax your values and morals that you supposedly live by? Is it now okay to break your word by self justified excuses? I kind of felt ashamed but positively motivated and inspired to change things up, pour on the potency and practice my Kung Fu with a traditional mindset. This is how I deciphered his words and this is how I perceived them. Keep in mind everyones' perceptions are different and it's what you take away and how you apply these perceptions that either result in motivation or just another excuse on why you can't or something you can blame to deflect accountability from yourself,  it just that simple. It was all very inspirational and I'm more than grateful I was there to hear Sifu's words. It's not a rant or a personal attack, it was a door opening, it was a positive message, and it was a good healthy reminder to not be mediocre, but be a Master and apply mastery. Thank you Sifu.

Turning it up a notch or 600

Time is flying way too fast but that's nothing new. So many things left to do and complete in regards to training. My conditioning has declined a bit, form reps are not as high as they should be, a couple of assignments are incomplete, and I have forgotten some of the curriculum already. I have wandered off my discipline and training path again and allowed myself to become distracted. Just like everyone else I'm sure, summer is a difficult time for me to focus on a few things. Nope, it has to be several things going on at once and all are either imperative or require full attention which completely messes up the general mindset of prioritization. I can honestly say, yes, I am insane. Doing the same things, making the same mistakes over and over again expecting different results. But what if the perspective is changed? What if the vision has more clarity, and what if the definition of it all has a deeper meaning and an advanced understanding that leaves you thinking and inspired to push yourself beyond the levels you thought you may never surpass? If that's the case then I don't think it's a waste and I don't think all hope is lost. Things just need to be cranked up. I chose to go at it this year in an incremental fashion and yes that has been very difficult for me. But as I look at my training overall, I am behind in several aspects and somethings I haven't even looked at. So what am I going to do about it. Cry, become frustrated, freak out and do a whole bunch of things that are going to be just done for the sake of doing them below standard. Am I going to lie about it? Pretend that nothing is wrong and all is good. You can't do that in Kung Fu. The minute you are on the mats, in a few simple moves, you basically have just spilled your guts with out saying a single word. Am I prepared and able to bring everything up to speed and beyond? Hell yeah and then some.

So what am I going to do about it. Stay positive, Review my goals and my destiny daily and train like a freakin demon straight through from this point and beyond Chinese New Year. Maintain my engagement by consulting those I need too, and that could be anyone in the kwoon. Remain in close contact with my fellow candidates as I'm sure they are encountering similar issues or problems and together we cannot fail. Be at the kwoon so much that I will be called a piece of furniture. Just hang me up beside the loins. I have confidence and firmly believe I will complete what I set out to do because I believe in myself and I believe in all that has brought me here. I have learned alot this year so far about myself and my limitations, my vulnerabilities, and what I am capable of doing. I just don't understand sometimes why I hold this restraint to just let things go and do it. What am I waiting for and what part of it all disallows me to nurture and feed the internal passion of my Kung Fu. What am I protecting and from what? I don't know it's all weird s#$t but hopefully I can come to an understanding and moments of clarity as I proceed down the path.

So I guess after all that craziness I just spilled and questions that come to mind, the ultimate path forward is to just go for it and stay in the moment day to day. I have completed a ton of things which has left me nothing but time for the next few months, so let's crank it up to 11! See you at the Kwoon.

Mack Truck vs. Black Belt

A lesson in Sihing class a few weeks ago has made a strong impact on my approach towards techniques, forms, and the last half of the six harmonies. I am nowhere near a solid understanding of it all but I feel I am heading in the right direction.

Sifu Brinker was teaching the class and we were working with the Triangle Stepping pattern. There was an explanation provided through comparative examples. This example was as follows; "If you are feeling like you have just been hit by a Mack truck, the application is misunderstood, if you don't feel anything and find yourself on the ground, that is the skill of a Black Belt" Sifu also touched on the second half of the six harmonies, the trajectory of energies, (which was the other direction to how it was percieved to me), grounded full circle power energy, and of course flow. The lower half of the body should be more of a focus than just simply charging ahead linear trying to go through your opponent, instead it begins with a simple deflection. A softening blow and wedging the opponent grounds you as the defender and completely disrupts your attackers six harmonies, increasing your options and their vulnerbilities. I also took away that rather than slamming them down and trying to imbed them into the floor, you are actually pulling them around. Really cool stuff that helped me a lot on how I should be applying all techniques.

Once this all started to come together and make sense, I learned a little more about the six harmoinies and how my energy would be far more effective and efficiant by changing my perspective and approach. I tend to practice my techniques more head on or linear with the intention of completely smashing and embedding my attacker into things. Sometimes yes this does work and can be highly effective, but I do understand now how vulnerable this leaves me and by applying that much strength incorrectly, someone that knows what they are doing, could probably take me out with my own energy, and very little of their own. This in turn would inflict some serious damage and remove my abilty to counter. I don't dig this at all. So this is where the inpiration and excitement came into play. It inspires me to be a much better martial artist and remove the vulnerbilty. There is the excititment of improving and applying your energies to be extremely powerful, yet smooth and in control of your sixharmonie. Really cool stuff.

 So I have been attempting to apply this knowledge to all my training. Not an easy task as I am quite grounded and content in catapillar mode, but I think now with the right trajectory and better comphrehension, and a whole pile of training, I can go into Black Belt mode.

Where to Start

This last while has been very difficult in moving forward. Situations, experiences, distractions and old habits awaken that can lead to frustration and in some cases personal reflection that can lead you off the path from by consulting the wrong perspective. Keeping track of the destination and believing in yourself and your Kung Fu will get you through, but that in itself is not always easy. Good thing I haven't lost touch of this and what it all means.
Let's start with a situation that happened a few days before we were to be leaving for B.C. via my Fathers farm in southern Alberta. First I get a call from a RCMP officer about an hour away telling me they have the license plate from my trailer. Oh that's just awesome! Go get my plate, stop by the house and grab the truck. Pull into the R.V storage place and our trailer is gone. Double awesome! Let the attendant know what has happened, so he reviews the security cameras. Get a call, yah we think we have your trailer on surveillance. Go to verify and confirm. Sure enough, here's these two losers rolling out of the facility with the trailer in tow, huge downward slant, wheel covers still on, and the safety chains dragging away in the gravel. Pretty much the epitome of ultimate fail. Call the wife and break the news, not cool. After my anger subsided I put it into the right perspective. It's a material item, they make them everyday and this was a lesson to insure the proper security measures. Crime is spiking hard these days and we must adapt to this. As I said, they make stuff everyday, but the hardest thing to let go of is the fantastic memories and the adventures my family and I had experienced. So we planned an alternative vacation and made the best of it. That's all you can do. I had a great visit with my family and some fantastic conversation and bonding time with my father. That means more than anything to me. My Dad is awesome.

Next issue, another new job, another aggressive schedule. I start tomorrow and work straight through the weekend with the exception of Sunday. Typically when you start a new job, rolling up the first day on site and saying I can't work this Saturday, an overtime day, is frowned upon and can sometimes make your duration shorter than originally anticipated or thought. I don't really know the people managing the job so that makes it much more difficult. So, now I am very pissed off again because I will have to miss boot camp. Boot camp is one of my most favourite events that the school provides. I always leave with an unexplained buzz, a wealth of new knowledge, a fitness level assessment, and an extreme sense of being grateful for all the time and effort involved from our black belts and special guests that make the day remarkable. Yah this really sucks hard and can dampen your spirits, not to mention this is another important step in your training. If you have never been to a boot camp or think its unimportant, think again. it's an instrumental step and a huge advancement to your Kung Fu. So if you can be there, be there.

So my training in general the last while has faltered somewhat and a complete scrambled mess. These have been dangerous waters for me to tread in. That is what completely decimated and thrown me off course on previous attempts. However this time things are different. My attitude towards it all has changed. I'm keeping it all in front of me and finding ways to adapt with the right focus and approach. Instead of putting a self imposed standard that exists no where but inside my thoughts and putting unsustainable training regiments in place with very difficult time lines, I am moving forward on a day to day basis and keeping the distant goal in the future and using this approach to succeed. November is coming fast and I will be ready. No matter what approach I have to take to make it work and move my Kung Fu forward. That is what's going to happen and that's what will happen.
Yes I am struggling a bit, but that is all part of it. That is what defines the individual and makes the journey concrete. I am in no way going to let another year pass and just write it off as oh well next year will be different. There is no next year, there is only this year and people are depending on me to get the job done. I have a great group of candidates to train with and I hold each of them in a very high area of respect. To me I let down my fellow candidates last year and that left a sting. I'm not going to do that to these guys or my teachers. I'm not going to let myself down or my girls that have offered endless support. I don't want to be one of those people that say, I used to be a martial artist, because if you do, you never were.