I'm not really sure how to start this blog or for that matter where it is going to go but it is my responsibility and a requirement that I have not been maintaining and as a result I have installed doubt in my peers and those above me as to whether I am training or not or meeting my requirements. This must be repaired before it is too late, or perhaps it may already be too late. Either way all I can do is tell you what has been going on.
Lots has been going on, everyday in regards to my Kung Fu. Just because you haven't seen me, doesn't mean nothing is happening. This doesn't mean I have quit. Yes I have had some issues, lots of them, and I can assure you they are not excuses, they are what's happening, they are life. None of which have stopped me, they slowed me down, but I never quit. I train with passion and heart all the time, there is no sub standard acceptance and I never think anything is good enough. I am no stranger to mastery and what it takes. The sacrifices, the blood, sweat and tears, the mistakes and the triumphs. The drive and the pain and the ability to adapt and overcome. Once this is installed in your life, it never leaves you. It only leaves you if you let it or never welcome it in the first place. Everyone's journey is unique and you are going to run into several perspectives, none of which are golden, except one part, yes or no. Simple right? or it at least it should be.
I sometimes have the tendency to venture off on my own. It's not that I run away from things, I run from nothing. There are times where I like to be by myself, doing what I love to do and be in the moment. This is how I sort things out and stay focused. I am a private person and it's not really that I don't care or I turn my back on commitments. This couldn't be farther from the truth. All that has been told to me, shown to me, and words of encouragment are all something I hold close and respect. I guess ultimately this wouldn't be such a big deal if I just shared what's happening once a week. It wouldn't be so questionable if you seen or heard something from me. I have made several public statements, many of which are or have happened, yet nobody on the I Ho Chuan or the kwoon has seen or heard any action or for that matter anything. Other things have not happened and have come off as lip service, that is something I have to repair and make right. That is some thing that I have to live with. It does leave a sting, as I am the type of person that always folows through on what I say I am going to do. I understand I have let people down as a result, so for the next while that's all you are going to see and hear, exactly what I am doing. I haven't forgotten my goals or what I have set out to do. I haven't forgotten I am on a team and I am needed. I havent forgotten that I am to meet a standard that must be approved by those before me. I haven't forgotten a damn thing. I have always been there, just traveling from a distance. I try to respond to all posts and comment or at least give a +1 to let everyone know I'm out there, I read your stuff, and I support you, instead of just leaving people hanging there like a jerk. I am sorry if I have been a bad team mate and I meant no disrespect to anyone. I will make this right, but actions speak louder than words. So buckle up, watch and learn. I will prove to you all I have what it takes and then some. See you (very soon) at the kwoon.
Thursday, 30 July 2015
Monday, 29 June 2015
The Reset of Engagement
Every since I have been a student at Silent River I have never missed a boot camp with the exception of the last two years due to my work schedule and pre planned vacation. This absence left me feeling like I missed a level of skill advancement and an important tool of personal engagement. I have seen and experienced some epic boot camps and some highly dedicated and skilled Black Belts share their time and knowledge so others could become better martial artists. I have also witnessed many students evolve and leave at the end of the day with a glow and a mind set that they didn't have when they first arrived in the morning. At the end of the day, when we are all together, the presence of energy that you can feel amongst everyone is just simply indescribable. Boot camp for me has been, and probably will continue to be, one of the most important school events. Every time I leave, I leave with new found knowledge, goals, and a strong feeling of accomplishment. This is why I am extremely grateful and excited that I was able to attend this year.
This Boot Camp for me was the best one I have ever attended. The mix of seminars was awesome. The Six Harmonies and Chi cultivation absolutely blew my mind straight out of my skull. Since I have been practicing Qi Gong Five animal form, I can usually feel my Chi very quickly during the opening sequence and from there it just becomes stronger. I feel incredible after I do that form. However, I have never took my Chi to the level that I did on Saturday. Externally with Nye Gong (spelling??) I felt like I could literally smash the wall out of the school with my Chi alone. (Sifu Vantuil, if your reading this I am coming your way. I want to learn more and start to practice Tai Chi from your guidance.) It was almost scary the amount of power I felt and how in touch I was with it. The depth of my thoughts and the awareness of what is going on in my body and thoughts was pretty wild. I could see the negative energies and toxins. I could also see incredible detail to happiness and just how far I have come and how I got there from the beginning of my life. I went off some where deep, almost to the point where I could feel all parts of the earth. Wild. Then when Sifu Brinker asked us to envision an apple's life from the beginning to reaching us, I could see the roots in the ground, feel the sun, feel the apple growing, being part of it's trip to me. It was incredible.
Shaolin Fitness led by Sifu Masterson will always keep you honest. Sifu always has a great variety, leaves you with something to work on, and keeps it a lot of fun. The Striking seminar taught by Sifu Masterson and Sifu R Langner taught me the importance of the partnership when you are working with the shields. I liked how it was demonstrated and explained as to the guy with the shields being the coach. It made a lot of sense and left me with a better understanding of training with a partner.
I really enjoyed this weapon seminar led by Sifu B. Beckett. I think I have found another weapon that I would like to work with in the future. Sifu did such a good job demonstrating the Broad Sword and it was a privilege to be part of her shared expertise. This weapon felt really good and I started to feel quite comfortable with it. I found the most important advice of keeping the left hand part of the mechanics but clear of removal an eye opener. When you haven't trained with a sword, you don't even think of that really, but it wouldn't take much to remove your own hand that's for sure.
Learning strategies led by Sifu Rybak opened up my eyes as to how far I have let my eye for detail slip. I really liked Sifu's approach to this. It made me think about the positions I have taken in my classes and how complacent some of my passions and engagements have become in certain aspects and areas of my training. I learned a lot from Sifu about leaving your experience in the back of your mind and starting each class and lesson as it is the very first time you have ever set foot in the kwoon. Maybe Sifu didn't say that directly, but that is how I deciphered it and that is how I am going to approach my Kung Fu.
The Wing Chun seminar was awesome. I was really excited to try some of the very same discipline as Bruce Lee's beginning. Way cool! The fist position, the blocks, the stance, the speed and efficiency, the similar circular mechanics was a nice taste of something different. Sifu Pyrozko was a pretty cool cat, as was his assistant. I also felt very proud to be a student of Silent River after Sifu Pyrozko's kind words of how he was impressed with the students abilities. To me it say's a lot about our teachers and a lot about the students dedication and respect to the art and the skill set that is practiced at our school.
The flying kick seminar led by Sifu M. Playter was an opportunity that I took a lot of things from. Sifu basically broke down the mechanics and showed us the tools to perfect our flying kicks. I think with some serious dedication and practice to the techniques that we where taught, they would help in several aspects of spinning techniques. To achieve height, maintain centering, timing, landing etc. Not only that, but what I learned during this seminar can also be applied to my weapon form that I am working on. Cool stuff.
I enjoyed the grappling seminar led by Sifu Lietz for a few reasons. For one, he is a great teacher and made it a lot of fun. But the main reason is this is an area in my training that I haven't practiced a whole lot and in some ways I have kept a bit of a closed mind to it. But after this seminar I have a new found interest in grappling and appreciate and respect all that is involved. That and to me it was cool to work with someone as highly skilled as Sifu Lietz. Also it was great to not only see Sifu Lindstrom but I appreciate all of the help he gave me and my partner.
Psychology of defence was a boat load of information and awareness in some areas that I never really think of. I've never heard such a detail of the different levels of predators all around us and a lot of Sifu Brinkers words hit home for me. Such as awareness and knowledge to apply to my own well being as well as my girls. I have a pretty good sense on people and what to look out for. But to have it broken down to the levels we were taught and the whole mental aspect of it left me with a better understanding and how to not only pick up on these situations from other aspects, but just how far am I willing to go to enforce the well being of myself or my family. It's easy to think and say what you would do, but in a real life situation, What would you do? Good Seminar.
Last but not least, the knife offense techniques we learned from Sifu Frietag gave me another level of respect towards knives and just how dangerous and completely devastating they can be. These simple but deadly techniques were highly effective and would immediately immobilize someone very quickly. I really enjoyed this knowledge that was passed on because there was also some demonstrations of proper handling and what some of the risks are as a handler of the knife. Such as the possibility of actually snapping the blade off and completely disarming yourself. All in all, good stuff. I wasn't sure though which was scarier, the knife or Sifu's giggles while she demonstrated these techniques?
It was a real shame that we couldn't do the fitness test. This is a very straight approach to exposing your strengths and weaknesses. This gives you a very detailed tool that will help give you a format to lay out a training discipline for the year and to help you prepare for your grading. That and the pain and stiffness you feel the next day let's you know just how awesome of a day you had and the accomplishment you achieved.
Well if your still awake or chose to read all of this, I can assure you once again I have left another boot camp with knowledge, new found interests and discoveries, challenges and goals for the future that I am going to pursue. It completely reset my engagement. I apologize for the length of this blog but I couldn't just put this all in a nutshell... it was just that influential and that exciting and I hope it turns more students in this direction because it will be one of the better day's anyone could be a part of.
Thanks again to all of the Sifu's that took the time out of their day to make an incredible boot camp, it's really appreciated. Also thanks to all of the people that I had the privilege to share the day with, you guy's are awesome! See you at the kwoon.
This Boot Camp for me was the best one I have ever attended. The mix of seminars was awesome. The Six Harmonies and Chi cultivation absolutely blew my mind straight out of my skull. Since I have been practicing Qi Gong Five animal form, I can usually feel my Chi very quickly during the opening sequence and from there it just becomes stronger. I feel incredible after I do that form. However, I have never took my Chi to the level that I did on Saturday. Externally with Nye Gong (spelling??) I felt like I could literally smash the wall out of the school with my Chi alone. (Sifu Vantuil, if your reading this I am coming your way. I want to learn more and start to practice Tai Chi from your guidance.) It was almost scary the amount of power I felt and how in touch I was with it. The depth of my thoughts and the awareness of what is going on in my body and thoughts was pretty wild. I could see the negative energies and toxins. I could also see incredible detail to happiness and just how far I have come and how I got there from the beginning of my life. I went off some where deep, almost to the point where I could feel all parts of the earth. Wild. Then when Sifu Brinker asked us to envision an apple's life from the beginning to reaching us, I could see the roots in the ground, feel the sun, feel the apple growing, being part of it's trip to me. It was incredible.
Shaolin Fitness led by Sifu Masterson will always keep you honest. Sifu always has a great variety, leaves you with something to work on, and keeps it a lot of fun. The Striking seminar taught by Sifu Masterson and Sifu R Langner taught me the importance of the partnership when you are working with the shields. I liked how it was demonstrated and explained as to the guy with the shields being the coach. It made a lot of sense and left me with a better understanding of training with a partner.
I really enjoyed this weapon seminar led by Sifu B. Beckett. I think I have found another weapon that I would like to work with in the future. Sifu did such a good job demonstrating the Broad Sword and it was a privilege to be part of her shared expertise. This weapon felt really good and I started to feel quite comfortable with it. I found the most important advice of keeping the left hand part of the mechanics but clear of removal an eye opener. When you haven't trained with a sword, you don't even think of that really, but it wouldn't take much to remove your own hand that's for sure.
Learning strategies led by Sifu Rybak opened up my eyes as to how far I have let my eye for detail slip. I really liked Sifu's approach to this. It made me think about the positions I have taken in my classes and how complacent some of my passions and engagements have become in certain aspects and areas of my training. I learned a lot from Sifu about leaving your experience in the back of your mind and starting each class and lesson as it is the very first time you have ever set foot in the kwoon. Maybe Sifu didn't say that directly, but that is how I deciphered it and that is how I am going to approach my Kung Fu.
The Wing Chun seminar was awesome. I was really excited to try some of the very same discipline as Bruce Lee's beginning. Way cool! The fist position, the blocks, the stance, the speed and efficiency, the similar circular mechanics was a nice taste of something different. Sifu Pyrozko was a pretty cool cat, as was his assistant. I also felt very proud to be a student of Silent River after Sifu Pyrozko's kind words of how he was impressed with the students abilities. To me it say's a lot about our teachers and a lot about the students dedication and respect to the art and the skill set that is practiced at our school.
The flying kick seminar led by Sifu M. Playter was an opportunity that I took a lot of things from. Sifu basically broke down the mechanics and showed us the tools to perfect our flying kicks. I think with some serious dedication and practice to the techniques that we where taught, they would help in several aspects of spinning techniques. To achieve height, maintain centering, timing, landing etc. Not only that, but what I learned during this seminar can also be applied to my weapon form that I am working on. Cool stuff.
I enjoyed the grappling seminar led by Sifu Lietz for a few reasons. For one, he is a great teacher and made it a lot of fun. But the main reason is this is an area in my training that I haven't practiced a whole lot and in some ways I have kept a bit of a closed mind to it. But after this seminar I have a new found interest in grappling and appreciate and respect all that is involved. That and to me it was cool to work with someone as highly skilled as Sifu Lietz. Also it was great to not only see Sifu Lindstrom but I appreciate all of the help he gave me and my partner.
Psychology of defence was a boat load of information and awareness in some areas that I never really think of. I've never heard such a detail of the different levels of predators all around us and a lot of Sifu Brinkers words hit home for me. Such as awareness and knowledge to apply to my own well being as well as my girls. I have a pretty good sense on people and what to look out for. But to have it broken down to the levels we were taught and the whole mental aspect of it left me with a better understanding and how to not only pick up on these situations from other aspects, but just how far am I willing to go to enforce the well being of myself or my family. It's easy to think and say what you would do, but in a real life situation, What would you do? Good Seminar.
Last but not least, the knife offense techniques we learned from Sifu Frietag gave me another level of respect towards knives and just how dangerous and completely devastating they can be. These simple but deadly techniques were highly effective and would immediately immobilize someone very quickly. I really enjoyed this knowledge that was passed on because there was also some demonstrations of proper handling and what some of the risks are as a handler of the knife. Such as the possibility of actually snapping the blade off and completely disarming yourself. All in all, good stuff. I wasn't sure though which was scarier, the knife or Sifu's giggles while she demonstrated these techniques?
It was a real shame that we couldn't do the fitness test. This is a very straight approach to exposing your strengths and weaknesses. This gives you a very detailed tool that will help give you a format to lay out a training discipline for the year and to help you prepare for your grading. That and the pain and stiffness you feel the next day let's you know just how awesome of a day you had and the accomplishment you achieved.
Well if your still awake or chose to read all of this, I can assure you once again I have left another boot camp with knowledge, new found interests and discoveries, challenges and goals for the future that I am going to pursue. It completely reset my engagement. I apologize for the length of this blog but I couldn't just put this all in a nutshell... it was just that influential and that exciting and I hope it turns more students in this direction because it will be one of the better day's anyone could be a part of.
Thanks again to all of the Sifu's that took the time out of their day to make an incredible boot camp, it's really appreciated. Also thanks to all of the people that I had the privilege to share the day with, you guy's are awesome! See you at the kwoon.
Sunday, 14 June 2015
Sustainability
This is an area over the last year that has been a huge challenge for me. If you picture three columns, one representing Kung Fu, one representing work, and finally family/personal life, it would be a site to behold. Two of the three fluctuate between 6-8 ft. but one you would see towering above at about 50 ft. and rising, that is a huge imbalance. An imbalance that has been reeving havoc on me and making it very difficult to try to maintain. Things left behind, demanded priorities out of my control that have taken my full attention and focus or have been either hog tied and thrown into a corner or pinned to my back and multiplying at an accelerating rate. I am no stranger to this and have fought and scratched my way through it all and remained standing.
This last while I had to even up the imbalance, it had to be done. I have no issues adapting to whatever falls into my path, but you can only carry on this way for so long before you have to fix it and make it right. You can either have a serious meltdown and do something stupid out of purely irrational thoughts or make some temporary sacrifices to make it right. I chose the latter. I took a hold of an opportunity and ran with it. My job finished recently and my family priorities have settled, it was time to knock down over 100 items that have been on hold, am I am not overly exaggerating on this. I closed the door on everything and everybody this last while in order to regain the control of my situation that has been slipping for sometime now. Without going into fine details about it all, I can confidently say I have left a pile of carnage behind me and feel good about everything. Those three columns at the moment are fluctuating in unison and I am in a good place. I am ready for just about anything or if I'm not, I have the space to adjust, adapt and overcome. Just like it is supposed to be. Positive thoughts and restoration of complete control over my life is in motion. I am not constantly fighting and being pulled around by events and situations because I have cleared the clutter and my mind, and most importantly my closest and dearest friend, my wife, is healing very well. That has been my first and foremost priority. The smoke is cleared so it's back on the path full speed ahead.
I have received news of two tragedies that have occurred recently and rather than think about how this will effect me, I looked at how this is going to effect them and others around them and just how I am going to help. Never take anything for granted, because you could blink and it will be gone, that and there are people with far more issues than anybody is this country would ever see or understand. Stopping and looking at what you have and being grateful for it is key and that's where I am at.
Finally, I want you guys on the team to understand I am well aware that I have been carried by you for sometime now. I don't think I am special or my life is way harder than yours, or I am entitled to a break because of my situations. I struggle with asking for help and I am a private person, my problems are my problems and I will deal with them, that's it. However I do realize the selfishness and the effects of some of my actions on the team and have no problem being accountable to them. That's easy to say but doing something about it through action is just as important. So I will do just that. My contributions have been minimal as has been my presence. I have sacrificed my integrity on a few fronts and have probably installed question to as where I am at, and what the hell I am doing. I get that. Some of you may understand, some of you may not. I get that too. This will all change very soon. I am on a fresh start with new direction, rebuilt focus and determination, a new job that is going to be awesome, and some killer training on the rise. I have achieved something that I didn't think I was going to see for sometime, but continuing to fight, adapt and prioritize and restore control of my life and direction has lead me to sustainability. See you at the kwoon.
This last while I had to even up the imbalance, it had to be done. I have no issues adapting to whatever falls into my path, but you can only carry on this way for so long before you have to fix it and make it right. You can either have a serious meltdown and do something stupid out of purely irrational thoughts or make some temporary sacrifices to make it right. I chose the latter. I took a hold of an opportunity and ran with it. My job finished recently and my family priorities have settled, it was time to knock down over 100 items that have been on hold, am I am not overly exaggerating on this. I closed the door on everything and everybody this last while in order to regain the control of my situation that has been slipping for sometime now. Without going into fine details about it all, I can confidently say I have left a pile of carnage behind me and feel good about everything. Those three columns at the moment are fluctuating in unison and I am in a good place. I am ready for just about anything or if I'm not, I have the space to adjust, adapt and overcome. Just like it is supposed to be. Positive thoughts and restoration of complete control over my life is in motion. I am not constantly fighting and being pulled around by events and situations because I have cleared the clutter and my mind, and most importantly my closest and dearest friend, my wife, is healing very well. That has been my first and foremost priority. The smoke is cleared so it's back on the path full speed ahead.
I have received news of two tragedies that have occurred recently and rather than think about how this will effect me, I looked at how this is going to effect them and others around them and just how I am going to help. Never take anything for granted, because you could blink and it will be gone, that and there are people with far more issues than anybody is this country would ever see or understand. Stopping and looking at what you have and being grateful for it is key and that's where I am at.
Finally, I want you guys on the team to understand I am well aware that I have been carried by you for sometime now. I don't think I am special or my life is way harder than yours, or I am entitled to a break because of my situations. I struggle with asking for help and I am a private person, my problems are my problems and I will deal with them, that's it. However I do realize the selfishness and the effects of some of my actions on the team and have no problem being accountable to them. That's easy to say but doing something about it through action is just as important. So I will do just that. My contributions have been minimal as has been my presence. I have sacrificed my integrity on a few fronts and have probably installed question to as where I am at, and what the hell I am doing. I get that. Some of you may understand, some of you may not. I get that too. This will all change very soon. I am on a fresh start with new direction, rebuilt focus and determination, a new job that is going to be awesome, and some killer training on the rise. I have achieved something that I didn't think I was going to see for sometime, but continuing to fight, adapt and prioritize and restore control of my life and direction has lead me to sustainability. See you at the kwoon.
Friday, 5 June 2015
Disrupting the Circle
I'll be the first to admit I struggle with asking others for help. I don't like to impose burden on others and therefore I have always chose to find my own way for the most part. I have taken many a long roads with this approach and many bouts of frustration. I have always thought that's how you learn and that is how you become highly skilled. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people have shared their knowledge with me but for the most part, I was approached more than I asked for help, either way I am grateful for all of them. To me the mindset was you educate yourself and never take the easy way by going straight to the answer. However some of my most influential teachers and mentors didn't take this approach. Someone that really wants to see you excel will share many ways to accomplish or find the answer to a problem without giving you the solution because they recognize we are all different and we all think and act different and no one has the right to take that experience from you. This is why several avenues shown will be the most beneficial to whatever it is you are trying to accomplish at a high skill set. Not asking for help has struck a thought with me tonight at the school and made me look at the big picture and just how damaging of a ripple effect you can cause with this mindset because I believe also no one has the right to keep others from excelling out of shear stubbornness or not using the opportunity that is right in front of you.
I have had a major realization of how me not asking for help is preventing others above me and around me to advance and become better martial artists. If you take a good look at all of our Black Belts in the school, they are all skilled, but each and everyone has a strong point that at the drop of a hat, they want to share that knowledge. They are passionate about the art, but not only that, they are all trying to advance themselves. So when you don't ask questions or you don't ask for help or advice, you are putting a stall on everything, you are pouring super glue on the gears of excellence. All skill advancement for everyone becomes slow and stagnant. Kung Fu works in a circle, as does the lineage and skill level of the school. Every time someone helps another, the circle continues and advancement and skill potency continues to evolve. You learn something, others learn something, and sometimes new discoveries are made that help and improve everyone's skills at all levels. Your problems or struggles can help so many others, all you have to do is ask for help or advice. An important factor to remember is at some point someone has been there or knows someone that has and they want to help. So instead of making jerks out of them or myself, my mission is to use the help that is right in front of me and help others including myself along the way. It won't be easy, but it's not all about me, it's about us as martial artists. Maybe I am talking straight out of butt on this but either way, see you at the kwoon.
I have had a major realization of how me not asking for help is preventing others above me and around me to advance and become better martial artists. If you take a good look at all of our Black Belts in the school, they are all skilled, but each and everyone has a strong point that at the drop of a hat, they want to share that knowledge. They are passionate about the art, but not only that, they are all trying to advance themselves. So when you don't ask questions or you don't ask for help or advice, you are putting a stall on everything, you are pouring super glue on the gears of excellence. All skill advancement for everyone becomes slow and stagnant. Kung Fu works in a circle, as does the lineage and skill level of the school. Every time someone helps another, the circle continues and advancement and skill potency continues to evolve. You learn something, others learn something, and sometimes new discoveries are made that help and improve everyone's skills at all levels. Your problems or struggles can help so many others, all you have to do is ask for help or advice. An important factor to remember is at some point someone has been there or knows someone that has and they want to help. So instead of making jerks out of them or myself, my mission is to use the help that is right in front of me and help others including myself along the way. It won't be easy, but it's not all about me, it's about us as martial artists. Maybe I am talking straight out of butt on this but either way, see you at the kwoon.
Thursday, 28 May 2015
Heavy is the Head
This blog is going to be scattered a bit as I have to get everyone up to speed as to what is going on with me as I realize as far as most of you know or can see I have been doing nothing or very little in regards to my training so here it is in a nutshell.
I have been working a ton of hours, seven days a week and caring for someone that is very close to me that has become very ill and has faced many issues since Febuary. These two items have been where most of my energy has been placed. I'm not going to go on about how difficult it has been or how burnt out I am as this is just simply life and I don't like to use these things as an excuse for neglecting other important things in my life. Kung Fu is very important to me and as hard as it may all seem, I still apply it to all aspects of my life because it has grown to be a part of me. It isn't just a hobby that I do.
I have been struggling a bit with changing my all or nothing mentality when it comes to my training. If I can't train as much as I like because I run out of hours in a day or my attention is focused on something else, very little gets done and then I beat myself up over it. I have to remember that any bit of training or effort towards Kung Fu is something. If I can't get in the time to do as much as I want, I have to focus on something that will still be beneficial to progress. The incremental focus is something I have to work on.
This year is going to require alot of work and focus in regards to achieving the level black belt. The biggest thing is public engagement and obvious progression through skill improvement when I am at the kwoon.The Sifu's and the school need to see progress and effort. If there is no journaling or no prescence how would anybody know what your doing or what kind of example are you setting for those coming up that will be working towards their black belt. I have not shared or provided a very good example. This has to change or it makes the whole thing look like a big joke. I get that, and I will do something about it. I don't want to be that guy.
I will say this much, at this point in my life I have gone through a very difficult period the last while. It has been a challenge to stay focused and move forward. I have missed opportunities, gone above and beyond for others and kept a cool head through it all and maintained a, for the most part, positive attitude. There is light at the end of the tunnel and these challenges have made me stronger and wiser. My focus now is to restore the balance of the main aspects of my life and restore the faith of my Sifu's and the school, because as of late you have seen or heard nothing. See you at the kwoon.
I have been working a ton of hours, seven days a week and caring for someone that is very close to me that has become very ill and has faced many issues since Febuary. These two items have been where most of my energy has been placed. I'm not going to go on about how difficult it has been or how burnt out I am as this is just simply life and I don't like to use these things as an excuse for neglecting other important things in my life. Kung Fu is very important to me and as hard as it may all seem, I still apply it to all aspects of my life because it has grown to be a part of me. It isn't just a hobby that I do.
I have been struggling a bit with changing my all or nothing mentality when it comes to my training. If I can't train as much as I like because I run out of hours in a day or my attention is focused on something else, very little gets done and then I beat myself up over it. I have to remember that any bit of training or effort towards Kung Fu is something. If I can't get in the time to do as much as I want, I have to focus on something that will still be beneficial to progress. The incremental focus is something I have to work on.
This year is going to require alot of work and focus in regards to achieving the level black belt. The biggest thing is public engagement and obvious progression through skill improvement when I am at the kwoon.The Sifu's and the school need to see progress and effort. If there is no journaling or no prescence how would anybody know what your doing or what kind of example are you setting for those coming up that will be working towards their black belt. I have not shared or provided a very good example. This has to change or it makes the whole thing look like a big joke. I get that, and I will do something about it. I don't want to be that guy.
I will say this much, at this point in my life I have gone through a very difficult period the last while. It has been a challenge to stay focused and move forward. I have missed opportunities, gone above and beyond for others and kept a cool head through it all and maintained a, for the most part, positive attitude. There is light at the end of the tunnel and these challenges have made me stronger and wiser. My focus now is to restore the balance of the main aspects of my life and restore the faith of my Sifu's and the school, because as of late you have seen or heard nothing. See you at the kwoon.
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
The Restoration of the Unexplained
Since last Saturday I have under gone a major change in my attitude and how I feel about my training. I feel so light and have this incredible excitement that I haven't felt for some time. My focus has changed and my inner energy is at an absolute high. My hands and body won't stop tingling when I train, my focus and awareness to everything I do is on a ultra sensitive frequency. It's just cool to feel this happy and this buzzed when practicing my Kung Fu once again. Grading was an intervention for me, I put it all on the line and offered complete exposure. I now have a new beginning, a new mind set and focus, new tools and new path to cut. I feel clean and transparent, like I have severed a cancer that has been hampering me for some time now.
I'm still hard on myself when I doing things, but instead of man that sucks and feeling bad about it, it's more like, man that sucks but I am going to make it better and I feel good about it. I've relaxed my stubborn ways and it hasn't been easy at all, but I have reached out to others for help and chose to remain accountable to them in the process. I want the people that help me to witness they're words and thoughts turn into physical results. Not saying I want a guide through it all, it's still training with my signature on it, just that their words have made a difference and they're respected.
I have many goals to reach over the next while but I will attack them one at a time until they are solid and become second nature. I am hoping this will hold my engagement strong throughout the year. All of which I intend to share with others on the I Ho Chuan and those that help outside the team, but part of the school.
One last thing to maybe to clarify and perhaps send an understanding for those following my journey. Sometimes my writing may come off as completely negative and maybe sometimes it is. However, I am providing a transparent view to some of the things people can go through and just how that person deals with, or doesn't deal with, these events and prevails. The intention is for others to see it is not always going to be roses and sunshine. Sometimes you can spiral into a very dark place that takes something incredible or a different perspective to come out of. I am honest about things, and I hold myself accountable to everything I do or whatever decision I make whether it's right or wrong and I hope that by sharing these experiences, good or bad, people can take something away with them and apply it to their own thoughts or experiences. It's all in the perception and how it is taken, and the intention is not to send out the wrong message or negativity, just the truth of what's happening or how one is feeling at that particular moment in ones journey. See you at the kwoon.
I'm still hard on myself when I doing things, but instead of man that sucks and feeling bad about it, it's more like, man that sucks but I am going to make it better and I feel good about it. I've relaxed my stubborn ways and it hasn't been easy at all, but I have reached out to others for help and chose to remain accountable to them in the process. I want the people that help me to witness they're words and thoughts turn into physical results. Not saying I want a guide through it all, it's still training with my signature on it, just that their words have made a difference and they're respected.
I have many goals to reach over the next while but I will attack them one at a time until they are solid and become second nature. I am hoping this will hold my engagement strong throughout the year. All of which I intend to share with others on the I Ho Chuan and those that help outside the team, but part of the school.
One last thing to maybe to clarify and perhaps send an understanding for those following my journey. Sometimes my writing may come off as completely negative and maybe sometimes it is. However, I am providing a transparent view to some of the things people can go through and just how that person deals with, or doesn't deal with, these events and prevails. The intention is for others to see it is not always going to be roses and sunshine. Sometimes you can spiral into a very dark place that takes something incredible or a different perspective to come out of. I am honest about things, and I hold myself accountable to everything I do or whatever decision I make whether it's right or wrong and I hope that by sharing these experiences, good or bad, people can take something away with them and apply it to their own thoughts or experiences. It's all in the perception and how it is taken, and the intention is not to send out the wrong message or negativity, just the truth of what's happening or how one is feeling at that particular moment in ones journey. See you at the kwoon.
The People have Spoken
It was truly a loud and clear message to our government yesterday that the people of our province want change and have reminded them that they work for us. It was great to see the voter turn out and people demanding accountability and exercising a right that was fought for so the people have a voice. Is the change going to be better or worse for us? I guess we'll see. The point of it is though that Albertans took the risk and made a change. I feel very proud to be an Albertan today and I hope others do too and not lose the momentum and the confidence to remain in charge.
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