The Circle is Closing

Well here we are at the end of another year, man time flies. It has been a pretty good year overall though. I hit a lot of milestones in my training and created a whole pile of other stuff to work on and improve. Gotta love how it all works in a circle, even if at times it can be an oblong one.

As another year grows to completion, as does opportunity. Now is a chance to look back at what goals you set out to do, how you did or didn't reach them. Gaining knowledge and experience by overcoming and failing as you work towards your goals gives a base to build the next stage of your training. This knowledge both good and bad, can be carried forward and given an opportunity to either diminish or grow. Once you remove inefficiency or distractions you have now created some tools with serious potential and versatility. Sometimes the filtration doesn't work so well and needs attention before anything can start moving ahead. Other times it's like jet fuel and your gone. Obstacles are built to different and seemingly impossible heights and lengths, emotionally and physically challenging, as are bridges. The most important thing is advancement no matter how slow, just keep the steps going forward and embrace the determination of backwards sucks ass. There are those around that can help, be grateful for that and appreciate it. As this act in itself teaches self awareness to others in need and removes the self.

 The beginning of the year required a lot of work to get the wheels rolling, I came in heavy so to speak and perhaps some tools I never used before and others I forgot needed to be on the front lines, whether I liked it or not. I stuck to the plan this year as best I could and reached to those I needed to and accepted with respect, those who offered. I took on a difficult task with the correct frame of mind and maintained determination to see it through to the next level. Mostly because there was not going to be a next year. If I couldn't get my head on straight and attempt the rank of Black Belt to my absolute best, then I probably never will. This wasn't something I was just willing to throw away. So I stayed true to the best of my abilities and continue down the path. I have two strong Sihings to keep me company and help me see it through, and Sifu's that share their knowledge and offer support. A whole team of martial artists and a great school. Yeah I would have to say it's been a great Year.

Happy New Year everyone, see you next year.

Contemplation of Absence

Contemplation indeed. I don't really have much choice at this point as I don't really have a whole lot to be concerned about. Nope, not much at all really. Just me and my thoughts, keep an eye out for my girls, plan some training and adapt day by day. Running with my girl on the beach....hit the gym..... forms in the sand.... Kung Fu homework....while we're at it, let's reinstall Qi Gong for breakfast...everyday...hell yeah, life is good!

Hmmm I think I'm missing something...yup, indeed I am. There is my fellow candidates and a whole team busting they're asses and preparing for a moment of truth. I'm not there. I haven't been there before and I've held up my end of the bargain..... but this times different. I miss the connection with my teachers and being in the presence of my tightly knit bond with my fellow Sihings. Someone right now is filling in for me in the back of a Lion. I don't know who it is, but I can't thank you enough. I have a training partner that wants to insure all is good...like "Chuck the Chainsaw" good.. and yes folks, that's a big deal. But I'm not there, I'm not there to swing a set of oversized, short handled axes, in expected pristine fashion, like scary awesome pristine fashion. One may call this guilt, but it can't be, as guilt is useless and something I don't embrace. Guilt to me, on a personal level, is recognizing you failed to uphold a position of accountability on your own control and didn't follow through and choose to carry perceived assumptions that don't exist which become excuses. If you think about it, what's the point of beating yourself up and instilling self questioning on your abilities and an assumed judgement by others? Look at it for what it is in a black and white perspective. What happened? and why? How about just own your s$%t and own it, step up and make it right. You know you had something to do that went beyond just you and you know it will effect others. So does that mean you should never be apologetic for your short comings when it effects others just because you can admit it? Of course not. 

What it means is there is never an opportunity to not make things right. If you embrace the mindset of accountability and self discipline, and forge a high work ethic, your open short comings can always be turned over to awesome example, stuff that can be perceived as respectable follow through by those that count on you. We must realize full well that time never stops... things can always be set right. Believe in yourself and what you can do. You can't change what has passed, but you can step right into the action. Be in the moment regardless of current position and uphold your commitments. Just like now and where I am at. I'm not at the kwoon, I'm not there with my fellow candidates or my training partner, or the I Ho Chuan team. But I am doing my Kung Fu homework. I am working on my weapon form and I am working on areas of lion dancing. I am working on my writings and maintaining my conditioning. I've made arrangements before I left to hook up with my training partner upon my return to prepare and insure my techniques are up to "Chainsaw Chuck" standards, and roll into the I Ho Chuan expectation like I never left.

 Absence holds no relevance, nor it is an excuse to not uphold expectations. Kung Fu holds no boundaries or barriers and yes folks, it fits in your suitcase. Bottom line is I miss you all and I won't disappoint the team upon my return... because that's for them other guy's. See you at the Kwoon.

The Example of a True Elite

Some where along the way someone seems to have found the accelerator on the old time piece. Man times flying quick and there is still a ton of stuff to do by many and myself to prepare and show what a years worth of training looks like by this years I Ho Chuan class. All of that work should resonate quite clearly in each and everyone of us. When I think of how the I Ho Chuan class is viewed,  by dedicating a year to mastery and usually on the front lines of pretty much all of the Kwoon events, I think of the I Ho Chuan as the elite in the school. Some people don't like the term elite for whatever reason, but whatever it is it's theirs and that's their business. I think of elite as a balanced perspective or perhaps an accurate description of a expectation of a goal with never ending results led by example and respect to tradition.

 My personal perspective of the word elite is a term used to describe hard work, discipline, commitment, drive and a relentless vision that never sees' an end or an arrival. One who continually never forgets where they came from and practices continued respect to the very place or person that provided them with the gift of opportunity, knowledge, and acceptance through trustworthy obligation.  A practicing elite is a highly influential person of example minus the over inflated ego that tends to become the primary fuel in some along with the self proclaimed and self justified importance that is the complete opposite of what they are actually supposed to be. Forgetting where they came from, and just what provided the comfort of their existance along with insecurities and closed minded personalities have no place here. Fear of themselves and the belief that their opinions and views should be embraced by others with no solid base or action is more fitting in this case. Instead an elite powers themselves with non judgemental  character and obvious humility which becomes welcoming and attractive to others. It's a passion and determination for perfection and efficiency in doing what they believe in and are physically pursuing that sends ripples of inspiration to others that awaken the creativity and the free thinking that in turn awakens goals and dreams to come alive in others.

An elite is not afraid to hit the dirt, bleed, expel emotions that may be unnecessary at the time but in turn become inner strength to pursue the challenge and succeed. Good enough is a term seldom, if ever used by anybody that wants to take themselves above and beyond what they ever thought possible and inspire others to do the same. I also believe this type of person is not concerned to face their struggles and show how to overcome them out in the open. That to me is balanced courage and another example that others can embrace. I do my best to try work towards becoming this type of person and I always look towards those I respect or follow their example to push myself and work towards being an elite martial artist. I'm very grateful that I am allowed to train in a traditional school and earn the gift of knowledge of a traditional art. There's not much left out there that hasn't been watered down or has forgotten tradition or actually promotes it. Because that's hard or it takes too much time or holds no value to the ignorant that forgets what made them in the first place.  A place that provides opportunity and inspiration, promotes hard work and discipline, provides an opportunity to show those around us what being awesome and what it takes to awaken your inner being and self expression. A place that inspires you to become your own elite.

Embracing the Aftermath

It's never easy to describe in fine detail or provide a universal comprehension to others on a personal  journey or experience that changes your direction in life in the setting of past, present, and future. One that has made such a deep impact and although labouring, rewarding beyond what you ever thought possible. Journeys of this type are never easy, there is no short cut, there is no easy way, and there is no app for that. Everyones perceptions are unique and we all kind of speak our own languages. So I will do my best to tell you about a day, (in short form), that had a very profound and permanent impact on me. This day where it all seemed right, a day where I was ready to take on the world and win. This day, where I was running on full determination, narrowed focus, and prepared to push my body, mind, and spirit to the point of destruction if needed. A time where emotions were not part of the component. A day where I opened it all up and showed what I was made of, the day I showed heart.....the day I graded for the rank of Black Belt..... November 19, 2016.

I woke up Saturday morning with the first feeling of content until I fully awakened and stood up to get out of bed. Dizzy and not feeling right. Perfect, now I'm sick. Whatever, let's go princess. I had breakfast, mentally prepared, and continued to hydrate, then, more mental prepare. Reminiscing and then quickly removing those memories from my thoughts. That was then, this is now.

 Walking into the Kwoon at times can be incredibly intimidating, this was one of those times. Changed, hydrated, cleared my thoughts and was ready to grade. I was invited in and assessed the environment and the people in it. Calmed the mind and headed over to my fellow candidates. I wonder how they are doing? It doesn't matter, although we are each on our own journey, we're together and our shared vision will create the setting and work towards the final outcome. There is my training partner, I wonder how he's doing? Once again, it doesn't matter at this point. I believe we are ready, we worked hard and the goal is the same. To succeed just as we planned. I am confident.

The grading began and I pushed myself as hard as I could. All my years of training were brought to the table and the focus was steel. Sweat burning the eyes, moments of wanting to pass out, muscles burning beyond belief. I was not giving up or relaxing for nothing, I will be carried out on a stretcher before I yield. I felt good and although tired and numb at times, I felt strong and ready for more. Mentally the goal was clear and the focus narrowed on all that was required. I felt as though my thoughts were on a hair trigger, but the response relaxed and controlled. Maintaining calm and ejecting immediately what was unwanted. The mind must run clean. At times the focus was so narrow, I was the only one in the room and the task at hand. I was ready for this, even though you have no idea really what your ready for.  A brisk run and the test was complete.

Tired and exhausted at the end of it all, not thinking I had anything left and staying awake on the drive home was the question. I began to re-energize once again. The day and it's effect on me mentally and physically were amazing. I had such internal energy... I can't even explain it or where it came from. I got home and thought I could sleep. I couldn't until well past 12:30 and even then I tossed and turned all night and wide awake at 6:30 a.m. I just don't know, but what a pump man!

Once again reflecting on the previous day, I thought of everyone there. My fellow candidates that did awesome and how I am not only proud of them, but I'm proud to know them and what they accomplished. My very first Sifu was there that inspired me to continue, along with my second that trained me through a belt completion and two more promotions. All Sifus' that remained all had a huge impact on my training and were a major component of what took place on my behalf. My training partner performed extremely well and unconditionally sacrificed his time to help me put my mental creativity to physical reality. For all of this I am grateful and it made me feel like I gave something back to those that have given me so much by showing up and attempting to grade.  I did my best and I gave it my all. I prepared and was ready to grade and in the process I busted through internal walls and never allowed my focus to be diverted.  I put my heart into it. I did it, I graded for the rank of Black Belt. Still a long ways to go yet, but as a result of reaching this point, my life has changed. See you at the Kwoon.

Calming the Mind

Well it's the night before grading and all I'm really doing at this point is working on calming my mind. There's not much else that can be done at this point physically that will make anything involving my Kung Fu change or improve drastically, to attempt this or even consider this would be just plain stupid. No, it's my minds turn to prepare and it runs everything.

I am stratigizing and preparing my plan for the day without really considering or seeing the outcome. Honestly at this point it's irrelevant, the mind needs to be clean and sharp without clutter or extra baggage, streamlined and running clean without any unnecessary emotional out bursts. Emotions aren't invited until after all is said and done, then they can do whatever they; like during a revisit of a path that was just cut, and just what it took to get to this point perhaps. Either way, each and every task must be performed to the best of ones abilities, good or bad, and let go, move to the next. That's where my thoughts are at the moment.

 All that was brought forward to this date needs to be compartmentalized (not sure if this is a word...but it is today) and on standby to be dispatched at the drop of a hat and performed with the heart and focus of a Black Belt. Determination and pushing hard to the destiny must be key with a powerful mind in the drivers seat. As far as I can tell I think everything is ready or it's going to be as ready as it's going to be anyway. I am very excited for tomorrow and look forward to seeing and being tested and observed by some of the most influential individuals in the school, our Sifu's. I hope to do them and the school proud.

The Inner Workings of Mending a Relationship

As one of our many I Ho Chuan requirements this one has always been a tough one to sort. Not in relation to me being able to admit to my wrong doings or over reactions, or even full on anger towards others. I can usually take care of that during or a short time later. I have made the point of calling people out of the blue and stating my position and owning my accountability to the misunderstanding just from a deep reflection of how I have arrived at the current point in my life and just how I got there by looking back. I guess sometimes I go on a soul cleanse to try to insure I have not left bad feelings or a negative impression on people. I know that is literally impossible but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. As the individual and others change and mature or evolve if you will, so does our view points and judgements. I'm really glad and grateful to the influences I have had and the acquaintances I have made over the years to help me become a better person and reach others with respect and unconditional understanding.

But it hasn't, and still doesn't, always work this way. There are some that I chose to distance myself from and blow that bridge up for good and for good reason, I can't trust them ever again. I have questioned my instincts and learned the hard way as to why that mechanism is in us in the first place. No, the toughest thing for me is to sometimes forgive and relax my firm stance on certain views or beliefs if someone has intentionally wronged me or someone close to me. Especially if the trust is broken, it's next to impossible for me to forgive at this point. It's also very tough sometimes to look at yourself and see where you contributed and be accountable to it. Unless I am extremely over whelmed, to the point where I can't balance the simplest factors of said situation or remain rational, I don't tend to hold onto anger that long. I expel it as quickly as I can and toss invaluable energy and keep the lessons as tools to improve my ability to see the balance in all situations and differences with others.

So I guess you really have to look at it for what it is and what value is this relationship in general. What if the person holds no value or use in your life and is nothing more than a hindrance or a problem magnet that spreads not only to you but those close to you....is it really worth it to mend? How about see you later as in I hope to never see you later! Then what? With some of these types of people I have tried hard to see the good as there is good in everyone. Sometimes they just don't know it or see it. So do you swallow your pride and bend your beliefs, make the sacrifice and practice humility in order to help facilitate this in this person or do you follow your instincts and try to achieve a less harmless balance, distance yourself, and hope something runs them over....slowly..... twice..... like a road packer! It's really sacrifice and leaves you vulnerable, but in most cases then not we tend to roll the dice and practice forgiveness. I'm not so good at this, once your gone, you stay gone. But I'm getting better.... it just takes time and practice and self discovery.

What if there is more to the story than you actually know. What if this person that wronged you wasn't really them in the first place? What if there was a growing mental problem, or alcohol/substance abuse, maybe domestic or sexual abuse?  What if this person doesn't know how to express themselves properly and was really asking you for help? What if the wrong doing was just a way to gain your attention in the first place because you haven't been keeping up with your end of the relationship or have just been flat out neglecting them in favour of your own self interests? Maybe the problem is you and your over inflated ego, or your own aforementioned issues that you are not taking ownership on and refuse to do something about it. What if it was you yammering ignorance about someone else that made them feel terrible about themselves or question just who they socialize with. People in general like to put their own s^%t on others and judge and ridicule in order to take the focus off of themselves and then shut that same person out in order to feel better about themselves or if they are challenged on what they firmly believe is right, even if it's unfounded BS. I think in one way or another we are all guilty of this.

So you can see there is a lot to repairing a relationship in my opinion. Yes, there is probably a lot of overkill here and way too much thinking going on maybe. But you can't help but ask, What the hell happened in the first place and why? I have repaired broken or damaged relationships in the past and looked at a few of these points as tools or much needed questions before moving forward but not so much to this degree. I can honestly say though since I have been training in Kung Fu over the years my ability to read people has been significantly enhanced as has my ability to see both sides of the situation. But the best part is the desire to not wrong others in the first place. Kung Fu has helped me leave the ego out of the equation for the most part. I'm not perfect though, not even close. But I am sure trying to be a better person to those close to me and I do want to hold onto those that I have wronged or have been wronged by admitting to my short comings, holding others accountable in a mutual respect, and be the example of humility for my family and school. Sometimes that's not so easy but Kung Fu and it's vast range of knowledge and discipline sure helps with the perspective and balance we all need. See you at the Kwoon.

From a Tree Trunk to Gumby

Over the last while I have learned a lot more about my 5 techniques and how you must take into consideration each individuals body mechanics and just how they react. Height, weight, stiff, excessively flexible, strong, weak, fast, slow, focused aggression or spastic, angry, scared, trained or street fighter etc. All of things are and should be a consideration but it's not like you are able to ask an attacker to fill out a questionnaire or tell him, "No you don't match the requirements to my techniques so you'll have to fight someone else...have a nice day!" It just doesn't work like that.

Your techniques must not only be universal, but adaptable as well. Not to mention considerations or alterations on the fly and split second execution must be a part of it as well. In your mind you picture and practice the form. Form is the path, application is the commitment, and the intensity is just how far you are willing to take the commitment or the actual end result. I have practiced my personal techniques with a variety of body types, but the latest has been mostly with one type, taller, slim, fairly flexible, and I started to feel quite good about them until I worked on them with two levels of extreme on the weight/flexibility spectrum. For example on one technique the individual was heavier and less flexible, so it almost didn't work at all. I had to alter the initial part of the technique to work with the extra weight and manipulate the locks or alter my own and his body positioning in order for anything to be effective and have the ability to move the extra mass were I needed it to be and what I had to do in order to insure they landed in the position required to complete the technique. Without going into a long worded visualization of it all, I ended up sweeping only one leg as opposed to two and changed the initial lock in order to force the individual into the required position to complete the technique.

The other individual was like working with a light piece of rubber, very difficult to lock, so you really had to look for body reaction as opposed to taking the training partners word for it. I found accuracy was very important when working with someone that isn't easy to lock. You have to really get into that deep fulcrum point of the joint or the lock is next to impossible. This can be very difficult when they are a light person as well because you can't really use their mass to assist you in taking the individual off center or directing them to a desired position. You have to be fast and use more than one joint for manipulation. For example I would try to lock the wrist in such a position that the elbow would come into play along with the shoulder, think of twisting a towel. It may take more to your technique to have any kind of effectiveness with this type of person but I think the intial contact should be the starting point.

 There are many factors to consider but I feel an eye for detail is the most essential in order not to hurt somebody very badly or unintentionally that you are training with, but also to troubleshoot the technique and make it universally effective. I have learned a lot this last while and obviously much more to learn but I think with this gained experience I can have the confidence and assurance that if I ever had too, my techniques will protect me and disable an attacker and there are options available that must be considered when applying them and to what extent. See you at the Kwoon.