Caged Animal

This is pretty much how I feel right now. Chomping at the bit to charge fully into my Kung Fu and not being able to go to it's full potential has been frustrating. I have been writing and doing whatever I can do, but it hasn't been much. I feel like I am trapped in an iron cage and no matter how many times I chew, kick, punch, or bounce myself off the walls, I can't get out. Time is moving fast and a deadline to be fully prepared for grading is just around the corner. Working 7 days a week hasn't really given me an opportunity to heal properly but I am a firm believer that just sitting still is going to cause more damage than good. This particular injury has been one of the most weirdest I have ever encountered. Pain and tired muscles have been moving all over the place and has been very difficult to pin point indeed. The reflexologist that I typically see is relocating and is unavailable until the middle of the month. I have gone to see a chiropractor and it seemed to help some. I have been given exercises to try and found this to be helpful and I have a follow up appointment tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

I have been going through a lot of personal challenges lately that seem to be coming at me like a machine gun. One after another they come and one after another I sort them out. Keeping the perspective that these are opportunities that will make me a better person and make me that much more stronger mentally has kept me focused on achieving my goals and strengthening my weaknesses. This makes me that much better at Kung Fu and will make me that much better at using correct judgement and empathy to help not only my self, but all of those that may need help along the way. Maybe I'm wrong at this observation and practice, but for now, it's working for various situations I have been encountering.

Moving on though I have found other ways to stay engaged and when it is go time. I have a solid structure laid out that should serve me well. I know that I will have to start from the beginning slowly and work my way back up. That's just the way it has to be. Once I feel better and I am able to continue my training, I will proceed with caution. As much as I would love to charge back in wide open and make up for lost time, I cannot just pick up where I left off. This kind of stupidity will put me right back where I am now or worse. Yes, it's a downer but I chose to remain positive and keep my eyes and thoughts to the future and hold the vision of seeing myself where I want to be. I have been on the bench now for almost 3 weeks and have been taking notes during Sihing class and have been visually thinking of a new weapon form and going through all of my other forms, curriculum, and five personal techniques. I know what needs to be done and just how I'm going to do it. Now that my full attention is no longer required at home and in  order to stay completely engaged and not lose focus, I plan on being at the kwoon as much as possible to observe and take notes while I am down. Even on the bench watching and taking notes can be just as important and as beneficial as physically participating. You have to take advantage of all opportunity's when your down in order to stay up. See you at the kwoon.